Left Behind, the video game?

I NEVER pay attention to video game releases but I found out about this one via Pharyngula and MAN, is it GOOD!

In Left Behind: Eternal Forces you are a heavily armed soldier for God and your mission is to kill or pacify the unbelievers. Don’t believe me? Then see the movie here or look at the screen shots here.

Who else thinks I am over reacting when I say theocracy is coming to the USA? And this time it’ll be bullets, not bibles baby.

21 thoughts on “Left Behind, the video game?

  1. Here is a semi-related essay about fundamentalist Christian culture and how it increasingly mirrors secular pop culture. Even though the article is eleven years old, it’s hardly dated.

    Of course, given the (appalling) popularity of the Left Behind series, I suppose it’s only reasonable to expect an upcoming video game.

  2. I seem to remember a little thing I was told waaaaaaay back in sunday school. “Thou Shalt Not Kill”

    What is the object of the game? To kill or pacify the unbelievers?

    “Christian, clean, conscientious, correct, decent, elevated, equitable, fair, fitting, good, high-principled, honest, honorable, humane, just, kosher*, moralistic, noble, principled, proper, respectable, right, right-minded, righteous, square, straight, true blue*, upright, upstanding, virtuous” MY ASS.

    We can only hope that the “unbelievers” put up a good fight against the heavily armed pussies.

  3. Hmm..I wonder if they’ll put Mephistopheles himself as the endboss? That seems horribly cliche, but very fitting for some propagandous game like this.
    (Is propagandous a word? I don’t feel like using the dictionary.com quicksearch..Ohwell.)

    And maybe, just maybe, we can convince them to stick Les in as the miniboss prelude before the final boss. That’d be badass, let those Christians blow off a little virtual steam, and maybe it’ll help them shut the fuck up sometime soon.
    —THE ARCHFIEND—

  4. Next week on uk tv Channel 4 (one of the more intellectual)

    Moday 5 May 8pm (BST)

    God’s Next Army
     
    Examining how the students of Patrick Henry College have provided the current White House administration with more interns than any other college in America. 

    The voice over on the trailer talked about those with an aim to make a theocratic repuplic…

  5. Todays Compotitian.. spot the diliberate misteaks in Last Hessurs speling

  6. If I play this game, I will lose on purpose just to hopefully see a game over screen that reads “WHERE IS YOUR MESSIAH NOW?”

  7. Doc: Is propagandous a word?

    I know what you meant therefore, and I may be wrong, to my mind the use of ANY wordage that successfully conveys an idea, is a word. LOL

  8. As much as I hate the Left Behind series for its incredibly flawed theology and how much revenue its generating to continue the consumer culture mentality, I can’t help but wonder Mr. Paulsen is doing a little unwarranted supplementing.  I didn’t see anything in the very brief description of the game mentioning “killing or pacifying unbelievers.”  I saw the screenshots of soldiers running around the streets, but I’d be willing to bet those are the “demonic Global Community Peacekeepers.”  I expect the evangelists are the “angelic Tribulation Forces” unless the players also get to control the four horsemen of the Apocolypse I don’t think the game is advocating Christians killing unbelievers.  It seems more like believers are expected to use mass propaganda to “save” people and unbelievers are supposed to rely on the GCP to persecute the Christians.  I think the “turf war” is spiritual turf on a physical map.  However, if I’m wrong and Mr. Paulsen is right that Christians are killing unbelievers in this game, I personally promise I will do everything in my power to rally other Christians into asking for its ban in local stores and boycotting whatever companies and stores are responsible for its release.

  9. Oh, y’all only know about Nice Jesus.  You must have missed Matthew 10:34 – “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.”

    Not to mention Luke 12:49-53 – “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is completed! Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

    If you had had the misfortune to have been a fan of the works of Hal Lindsay, for instance, as I was in my unfortunate youth, you would know that a lot of fundies can’t wait for the apocalapse.  That’s part of the reason for the great reduction in overt anti-semitism among them: there has to be an Israel for the prophecies to come true and the kingdom of heaven to descend.

    So the game puts you in the place of well, a sinner, somebody who missed being caught up in the cloud of glory, rising to meet Jesus in the cloud that every eye shall see (although I don’t think anyone sees it in the wretched Left Behind books).  Therefore, unless you want to burn for eternity in the pit of hell and get ass-raped by demons with humungous demon dicks (this is my take on their homophobia, BTW) lubricated only by the fat boiling from your flesh, you need to get on the good side of the Lord (who loves you; He died for your sins, you ungrateful bastard, and you wouldn’t even vote Republican for Him!).

    The game, and the worldview, therefore, calls upon you to be a superbigot for Jesus.  Prosyltize, try to get converts, and if that doesn’t work, kill them.  After all, if you can’t convince them, now that the Rapture has happened, then they are going to burn anyway.  All that their continued existence on earth can do is allow them to tempt the faithful or pull those who have not fully accepted Christ into their lives into hell.  Why, by killing Catholics, Muslims and gays, you’re really protecting the little children from Satan.

    This is why, BTW, the nutcase preachers tell the Jesus-jugend that there is a war on Christianity.  Not a real war, where people would surround churches on Sunday mornings, douse them with gasoline and shoot anyone who runs out of the inferno, but a war for the souls of Christians, encouraging them to think that maybe hating people for God is retarded and it really would be nicer if everybody just tried to get along.

    That really is the trouble with faith.  If you never have doubt, at all, that you could be wrong, you are basically a tool.  A monster, if your beliefs are violent enough.

    Recall also that the people making and, presumably, playing this game expect to go to meet flying Jesus, not be stuck here with us wretched sinners.

    I can’t help but wonder how much of the whole Bush base o’ bigots is because 2000 came and went and there wasn’t a savior anywhere.  I wonder if they think if they just hate for the Lord enough He will finally show up.

  10. Just to bring balance, I must post this thread on the very same topic of this game. It’s from the Rapture Ready Bulletin Board, which is frequented by those who hope to be, well, rapture ready. Believe it or not, the consensus there seems to be that the video game is in poor taste, and does nothing to promote the gospel. Who’da thunk there’d be such unity of thought between these two groups?

  11. For anyone interested in a kinder, gentler, convert-the-heathens video game, go here, select the drawer “F-H”, pick “Flanders, Rod”, and click on the Bible Blaster. LOL

  12. Zilch, you beat me to the punch!  I was just going to comment on how this reminds me of Rod’s&Tod’s game in the simpsons, where they must convert the heathens into good, god-fearing, suit-wearing Christians.

    Bart: I got him!
    Rod:  No, you just winged him and made him a  
        Unitarian.

    :LOL:

  13. didnt last long though

    Did you Republicanize all of them, Frumpa?

    Bart: I got him!
    Rod:  No, you just winged him and made him a
    Unitarian.

    Ha! I’d already swallowed my morning coffee, so no harm done, Iolite!

  14. Zilch: and click on the Bible Blaster. 

    LOL. How do you find this [crap] stuff? LOL

    There is no segue into … I just got off the phone to my lover [I met her 30th Oct 1976] after an hour – haven’t touched her for 6 years – married … moved to Sydney & shit like that – last time I saw her was 5 years ago – across a table in public – we kissed from 2.5’ away … I still remember it was THE most powerful kiss I Ever experienced. Jolts of electric and stuff like that. Wow! (There is more in heaven and earth Horatio …) She’s 19 days younger than I and reckons she looks OLD – I told her I loved her Unconditionally. I am ‘lucky’ in that Lust turned to soft and sensuous, lucky and forever, Love.
    Sure, I know I may be [am] a fool but [there’s a song there] … it’s a fantastic fantasy.
    She [the memory] helps keep me sane-ISH.
    I just threw an empty stubby into my bin and missed from 3’.
    I think I’ll go to bed now.

  15. Lucifer’s War

    This is a link to a wargame manufacture.  West Wind do a game called Lucifer’s war about Angels vs Devils.  My favourite figure title is ‘Scions of Woe with Bow’

    I wonder is the rules contain the following ‘If the forces of Hell are winning, the player commanding the forces of heaven can declare ‘Divine Intervention’ and win automatically.

  16. This statement is posted from an employee of Left Behind Games on behalf of Troy Lyndon, our Chief Executive Officer.

    There has been in incredible amount of MISINFORMATION published in the media and in online blogs here and elsewhere.

    Pacifist Christians and other groups are taking the game material out of context to support their own causes. There is NO “killing in the name of God” and NO “convert or die”. There are NO “negative portrayals of Muslims” and there are NO “points for killing”.

    Please play the game demo for yourself (to at least level 5 of 40) to get an accurate perspective, or listen to what CREDIBLE unbiased experts are saying after reviewing the game at http://www.leftbehindgames.com/pages/controversy.com

    Then, we’d love to hear your feedback as an informed player.

    The reality is that we’re receiving reports everyday of how this game is positively affecting lives by all who play it.

    Thank you for taking the time to be a responsible blogger.

  17. SJR: Please play the game demo for yourself (to at least level 5 of 40) to get an accurate perspective, or listen to what CREDIBLE unbiased experts are saying after reviewing the game at http://www.leftbehindgames.com/pages/controversy.com

    Sorry, SJR, but you’ve just lost all CREDIBILITY with me by linking back to the game’s own website for sources of “unbiased” opinions. If there is one video game that children should be protected against, it’s this one.

  18. SJR, just about every credible review I’ve read of the game is that the controversy is a moot point because the game itself sucks.

    The aggregated score over at MetaCritic.com gives it a 37 out of 100 with most reviews being negative. The gamer’s rating by those who have played the game is 4.7 out of 10. Some of the comments included the following from IGN:

    Unfortunately, the inconsistent behavior of your recruits means you’ll spend more time fighting the interface than the Antichrist.

    As well as the following from Games Radar:

    Left Behind: Eternal Forces just doesn’t play very well. As exciting and even (for at lot of folks, at least) uplifting as some of the content could be, it just doesn’t move quickly enough or play smoothly enough to compete with the other, more gameplay focused titles in the admittedly more worldly marketplace.

    And then there’s PC Gamer:

    The moral of the story is, if you’re looking for a half-decent real-time strategy game, skip Left Behind. [Feb. 2007, p.66]

    Lastly one of my favorite review sites Worth Playing had this to say:

    Avoid this title like the plague. Not only are you sparing yourself the discomfort of ham-fisted preaching and shoddy game mechanics, you’ll also be doing your part to ensure that this obscene mess of eschatological flotsam and apocryphal jetsam never sees a sequel.

    Given all of that I feel little need to download and experience the pain first hand.

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