Christian clergy group holds prayer rally to lower gas prices…

…because it works so well for heart patients.

Last Thursday various Christian clergy representatives got together at a Washington D.C. gas station and held a prayer rally beseeching God to send them some cheap gas:

In a release, the Pray Live group said many people are “overlooking the power of prayer when it comes to resolving this energy crisis.”

Apart from sending a message to God, the rally had a message for humanity, said Wenda Royster, the group’s founder.

“It is our hope that seeing and hearing some of the nation’s most powerful preachers gathered around a gas station and the United States capital as a backdrop, will remind everyone who is really in charge of our world—God,” Royster said.

And God said, “NO GAS FOR YOU! BANNED! TWO YEARS! NOW GO!” No, wait, that’s the Soup Nazi. So far God has responded by, well, not doing much in particular. Gas prices remain high and none of the oil-wealthy nations of the middle east up and suddenly converted to a Western loving Christian democracy offering us unlimited access to their oil reserves at discount prices. Nor have any huge supplies of oil suddenly turned up in a previously explored and thought to be barren section of the United States with a huge 40 foot sign made out of burning letters spelling out FREE OIL HERE, COURTESY OF YOUR FRIEND, GOD!

But, you know, these things probably take more time than we might think. Christ, he had to rest after 7 days because Creation really took the wind out of his sails. He’s never really been the same since. Slacker.

12 thoughts on “Christian clergy group holds prayer rally to lower gas prices…

  1. No, wait!  This is a GREAT idea!  If Dog really wants to show how He’s a True American, he can refill the Texas oilfields!  Imagine old, decomissioned oil wells spouting gushers (and Texas oilmen doing the same).

  2. Hey, at least they’re using their “prayer power” for something useful this time, instead of something like [the idiots at Westboro Baptist Church].

  3. Right.  Sorry, should have realized.  Les, could you reformulate that post?

  4. Dear God

    While you are putting the petrol back in the ground could you think ahead this time and not make it a pollutant.

    Thanks

  5. How dare you imply God’s oil is not perfect.  It isn’t pollution that’s ruining the environment; it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

  6. “It is our hope that seeing and hearing some of the nation’s most powerful preachers gathered around a gas station and the United States capital as a backdrop, will remind everyone who is really in charge of our world—God,

  7. Let’s just make a shopping list.

    1) Non polluting easy available power source to run cars/electricity etc.

    2) Fully Anotated ‘Directors Cut’ of religious texts, with what he actully meant.

    3) Not being blamed for what Adam and Eve did

    4) Beer volcano

    5) Cholestrol taken out of red meat

    6) and dairy products

    7) while your about it- a better, humane, way of getting meat.

    8) List of ‘alternative science’ of what works, and what doesn’t.

    9) Reconcilliation of quatum mechanics and classical physics

    anything else?

  8. How about a sudden, inexplicable attraction of rich, beautiful single women for bald, middle-aged men? 

    I mean, long as we’re askin’…

  9. Note that God actually slacked off, er, rested after only 6 days. 

    Of course, had he been French, it would have been after only 4 days.

  10. How about a sudden, inexplicable attraction of rich, beautiful single women for bald, middle-aged men?

    I mean, as long as we’re askin’…

    Sold to the bald, middle age man at the back.

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