I know times are rough, but how bad are they when the Christian savior himself has taken on a nursing job in a Stockholm hospital? Not only that, but the ungrateful bastards he’s working for have asked him to change his name because it was scaring patients:
According to Jesus, an auxiliary nurse at Huddinge hospital, his superiors were worried that patients told “Jesus will be coming soon,” might get the wrong idea.
What? They thought he was having sex or something?
“If they thought that Jesus was coming they might believe that they were already dead,” the nurse told The Local.
OH! Oh, I’m sorry. I totally misunderstood what the problem was. My bad.
Jesus, who will now use his middle name Manuel, said he didn’t have a problem with the change.
“I understand why they wanted me to use my middle name,” he said.
But, he added, “my name never usually causes me problems.”
Hell, I bet it gets him the best seat in the restaurant. He probably makes a killing selling t-shirts that read “JESUS GAVE ME A SPONGE BATH AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT!”