Man, I forget to read his blog for a little while and the next thing you know the guy is using his real name to release a bone fide CD of music as if he’s an actual singer or some hot shit thing like that. A CD you can actually pay money for to buy for real with actual music and lyrics and stuff. Like Prince, only not as purple. You just know he’s going to get a big head about it all too:
Now, you might think that someone who shared a home town with Stephen King for so many years might be tempted to write songs about vampires and undead cats. But I leave that sort of thing to Jewel. My songs are more akin to those paintings that you see where the artist picks up a pail of whatever’s handy and throws it at the wall. There are some pretty nifty patterns that show up when you chuck a bucket and see what sticks. I set my bucket chucking to music is all.
Oh that’s just great. He’s a bucket chucker now and he wants to upchuck all over your CD player, and he expects you to pay for it no less! I bet he gives up his blog just because he’s spending all his damned time fending off young, nubile groupies now. I think he just did it because he wanted to be able to sick the RIAA on people at random. Fame claims another semi-hilarious blogger.
*Seriously though, big time congrats dude! Don’t forget us little people once you’re all rich and famous like.