WingNutDaily accuses AOL of blasphemy over new slogan.

Straight from the You-Have-Got-To-Be-Fucking-Kidding-Me department comes a news item from the wacky folks of WingNutDaily suggesting AOL is guilty of blasphemy:

When Ian Millar opened up his AOL Instant Messenger program yesterday and linked to the new AIM Triton site, he wasn’t prepared for what he saw.

“I have been an AIM customer for many years, and although I do not use AOL for my mail client, I have recommended it for relatives and friends,” he said in a letter to top executives of the company. “In general, I appreciate AOL and your business savvy.”

But when Millar saw the company’s new slogan, he was shocked and disgusted. He was not alone.

OMFG! What could it be? Is AOL’s new slogan “God loves teh buttsekz” or perhaps “God raped Mary” or maybe the eternal sin “Jesus was possessed by demons”? No my friend, AOL’s blasphemy was MUCH worse than any of those mere trifles!

America Online is now acting like God – using what some consider to be His very name in a marketing pitch for e-mail, voice chat, video chat, instant messaging, text messaging and other forms of communication.

AIM’s new slogan is “I AM.”

That’s it? That’s the horrible blasphemy AOL is engaging in? I AM? They’re kidding, right?

Nope.

Millar wonders if any of AOL’s marketing and planning directors ever went to Christian Sunday school or attended Jewish services.

He points out to AOL executives that “I AM” is the English translation of YaHWeH, the self-proclaimed name of God.

“He is the Creator and Savior of the world,” explains Millar. “He alone is to be worshipped. To take His name in vain, or use as a common thing is blasphemy, a vulgar sin of offense. Perhaps you have not read the Third Commandment, since they have removed it from so many public monuments in the last decade. But breaking it as a means of marketing your products offends the mind of everyone who worships Him.”

Pardon me while I engage in a prolonged laughing fit interrupted occasionally by coughs because I’m choking on my own spittle. I’ve engaged in worse blasphemy several times over here. Perhaps I should change the SEB tagline to just I AM!

Millar suggests that perhaps AOL is in need of more religious diversity in its corporate ranks. But he suggests that such oversights would seem implausible in a country “where the Judeo-Christian culture has been pervasive for 300 years.”

Which is pretty damned impressive considering the country hasn’t been around for 300 years yet. I’m actually surprised he didn’t try to claim that it was too much religious diversity that caused this so-called oversight.

“You must immediately change the name of your program,” he told Jonathan Miller, the chief executive officer of America Online, and John Buckley, corporate communications officer for the company, in a pointed letter. I can assure you that you will lose business over this marketing tactic from people who worship the Almighty. But worse, you have offended Him by your actions; whether they are deliberate or ignorant. To treat as common the name of God is wicked. God is patient, but mankind is today making an error of epic proportions by the deliberate actions of mocking the Almighty; particularly in the technologically advanced society. His patience with the mockery of mankind will come to an end.”

Look! It’s another thinly veiled you’ve-pissed-off-god-and-now-he’s-gonna-getcha threat from someone who apparently has a hot line to the Almighty.

It’s hard to say what aspect of this I find more laughable: The fact that some nutcase thinks every use of “I AM” is an affront to God or the fact that WingNutDaily devoted so much attention to him. I mean, yeah, it’s WingNutDaily and you have to expect them to be, well, nutty, but this is amazing even for them. I’ll have to chalk it up to the fact that I try not to read WND too often because I usually end up hurting myself by laughing too hard so perhaps I just don’t see it often enough to realize that this is par for the course over there.

19 thoughts on “WingNutDaily accuses AOL of blasphemy over new slogan.

  1. I AM Canadian! And god said, “Let there be beer”, and there was beer. And god smelt the back bacon, and smelt that it was good.

  2. Millar suggests that perhaps AOL is in need of more religious diversity in its corporate ranks. But he suggests that such oversights would seem implausible in a country “where the Judeo-Christian culture has been pervasive for 300 years.”

    I’d say it’s a pretty safe bet that Millar considers true religious diversity to be “liberal,” “Satanic,” or “anti-Christian,” so I find this comment to be particularly ironic.

    Also, in the previous paragraph he was bitching about the removal of the ten commandments in governmental settings (this is clearly implied, anyway). But then he turns around and makes the claim that the Judeo-Christian worldview is “pervasive” in this culture. Surely the removal of the ten commandments in public would be more of an “oversight” in Millar’s fevered mind than AOL’s slogan, wouldn’t it? At least the Roy Moore case even peripherally had something to do with Christianity…

  3. The only thing I see wrong with the slogan is that it’s meaningless. It isn’t even catchy.

  4. The only thing I see wrong with the slogan is that it’s meaningless. It isn’t even catchy.

    It’s better than Apple’s “Think Different” campain of a few years ago (it’s “Think Differently,” dammit!).

  5. Hmm.. I think therefore IAM

    maybe thats where it came from..

    or maybe a better slogan would have been:
    “I think therefore IM”

    no?

    the only Aol slogans I ever heard that stuck with me :
    Always Off Line
    America Off Line

    I just love it when people get worked up over dumb shit
    like this. Reminds me why voting is useless.

  6. Okay, I’ll be the first to agree with the argument that AOL is the Anti-Christ (or is that Micro$oft—maybe they’re the Anti-Christ-Twins), but this is just way too goofy for words.

    Hmmmm. Didn’t the Army have an “I am …” campaign a few years back?  Didn’t hear critiques of that.  Maybe it was the capital letters.

  7. I am what I am sayeth Popeye, Edie Brickell, God and AOL.
    I’m sure it’s the “Devils” work and the end times are near.  Heed the warnings.  Read into the signs.  AOL is actually so evil it’s…ee veel.
    hee hee hee

  8. In reference to Frac’s post. Did anyone get upset when Molson used “I am Canadian” to sell beer?  And there are plenty of people walking around my campus in I AM UTD shirts and none of the religious organizations on campus are in an uproar over that. And it seems to me there was some TV ad in recent months with several different people coming on and saying “I am (fill in the blank).”  Just don’t remember what the ad was for.

    People just scare me…  downer

  9. Actually the Bible says God’s name is Jealous.  This I AM was just JHVH’s way of telling Moses He exists.
    Exodus 34:13 (KJV) “For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous god.”

    This also seems to suggest that Jealous isn’t the only god, no matter what his more recent followers claim.  Personally, I think Jelly only meant for Hebrews to hold him as the highest, and modern day non-Hebrew Christians are just being dumb.

  10. Frac- I’m pretty sure that when God said “Let there be beer”, He didn’t mean Canadian beer…  tongue rolleye

    As far as the God of the Old Testament’s name being “Jealous”, I would be tempted to add the handles “Really Grumpy” and “Has Anger Issues”.  But luckily, no one has asked me to revise the Old Testament…

    Sadie- if adjectifying an adverb disturbs you, what about verbing nouns?  As Calvin says, “Verbing weirds language”, and that’s gotta be good.  If you host a party, you’re guilty of verbing, and William Safire would string you up.  Relax and go with the flow, as long as it’s not up a creek.

  11. what about verbing nouns?

    I think it’s pretty cool that the word “effect” can be a verb, actually.

    Actually the Bible says God’s name is Jealous.

    Someone ought to (legally) change the lyrics of John Lennon’s “Jealous Guy” to “Jealous God:” “I never meant to condemn you…I’m just a jealous god.”

    Or not, seeing how if I were to consider anyone to be “God,” it would possibly be John Lennon.

  12. His patience with the mockery of mankind will come to an end.

    ANOTHER hurricane? Oh knock it off. We have been getting those since the Garden of Eden and we ain’t impressed.

  13. Whenever I hear rubbish like this, it reminds me why christian and muslim fundamentalists can’t get along. It’s because they are exactly the same!

    Compare the linked article abouta muslim jihad over an ice cream cone and judge for yourself.

    http://snipurl.com/m44u

    I have given these things some thought over the years, and can only conclude that these idiots believe they are earning themselves brownie points with their chosen deity.

    The thing that I find most amusing though is both christianity and islam share another trait, they both plagiarised other belief systems, and now try to pass them off as their own.

    Final thought from me, if your chosen deity is foolish enough to choose a common phrase as his name, isn’t it a bit silly getting all worked up when it appears that people are using that common phrase in everyday language?

  14. Actually Les, that would make a nice switch with the “what the fuck is wrong with you people”.

    Stupid Evil Bastard: because I am. It would also save you that explanation of why you named it that.

  15. I find the new slogan offensive only because I have no idea what they mean by it.  The slogan seems about as appropriate as Geico using “The Best Country Music on the Web”  What on Earth?!?

  16. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:  If you think I’m doomed to burn in hell, then good for you, but shut the hell up about it.

    As for taking offense to I AM… some people will be offended by anything, given enough free time.

  17. some people will be offended by anything, given enough free time.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that some people actually want to be offended, if only on a subconscious level. For example, right-wing X-tians want everyone to believe their lies about being “persecuted,” so they actively look for things by which to be offended.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.