The trailer for Uwe Boll’s latest video game turned into a steaming pile of shit movie is now available for your morbid curiosity. It’s much like watching a bad car wreck, but with orcs and evil wizards and such. With a cast featuring such talents as Jason Statham (the ass kicker in The Transporter movies), John Rhys-Davies (who hasn’t met a crappy movie he wasn’t willing to be in), Ray Liotta (who has honed his over-the-top evil badass role to a razor’s edge), Matthew Lillard (Scooby Doo’s Shaggy, ‘nuff said), Ron Perlman (probably plays a gnome thief), Kristanna Loken (who was the star of Boll’s last crapfest called Bloodrayne), and Burt Reynolds (!!).
Oh, and a shit load of Ninjas. Yes, I said NINJAS.
Now I played the original Dungeon Siege and its sequel and I don’t recall there being so much as a single friggin’ ninja in the entire game. Let alone a group of people who seem to be able to magically fly through the forests by touching vines that are completely out of place for the sort of forest they’re in.
Any faint hope I had that perhaps, just maybe, if we were lucky, this movie might have some semblance to the game and its storyline was pretty much snuffed out by the belly laugh I let out when I saw the ninjas land and start kicking ass. If you want to see this pending travesty for yourself you can do so here or if you prefer your piles of fetid crap in high resolution you’ll find that version here.
Be forewarned that you should not attempt to drink beverages while watching this trailer or you’ll risk ruining your monitor and/or keyboard when you spew the contents of your mouth all over the place once Liotta shows up to chew the scenery.
Link found via Joystiq.