Vent Buffer - Bill O’Reilly : Should I send him something like this?

Hey, did any of you see the Daily Show and what O’Reilly said about that Samantha Bee skit?

I’m thinking of sending this to Bill O’Reilly and cc’ing Jon Stewart at comedy central.

Mr O’Reilly,

I’m not a Christian, Mr. O’Reilly. My reasoning, partially at least, is to do with passages in the Christian bible, such as 1 Timothy Chapter 2 (KJV), which remind me why I avoid religion. I love and respect the strong, intelligent and remarkable women in my life far too much to submit to such a misogynous (meaning “Woman-hating” for Fox Viewers) doctrine.

I’ve always known what kind of “Conservative” you are, but I have watched your show and kept my mind open to what you have to say.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” I mulled in my mind after viewing your show. “Maybe I’m too negative.” I thought – “Each to their own.” I reminded myself.

However, your “War on Christmas” is nothing but a fictional comfort tale.

Mark Twain wrote, “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

I don’t care what you celebrate and what comforting fiction you tell around your dinner table – just don’t expect us all to pretend and buy into this “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” fiction.

Come on, Mr. O’Reilly, don’t you at all feel a little silly calling December 25th the anniversary of Jesus Christ’s birth?

Didn’t it ever strike you while singing “While Shepherds watch their flocks by night” that unless you want your “Flock” pre-frozen you don’t graze sheep in December – not in the northern hemisphere at least.

Most Christian Churches these days admit the date is way off and that they just moved the date of “Christmas” to fit with the Roman mid-winter festival of “Saturnalia” and the other disgusting, sinful and depraved pagan Winter-Solstice traditions of feasting, gift giving, decorating trees in the home, kissing under the mistletoe etc.

Strange isn’t it that every single so-called “Christmas” tradition has no biblical basis nor was any of it considered part of celebrating “Christmas” until very recently in western culture (like 150 years or less).

Yet those traditions are proudly remembered far before anyone had heard of a “Jesus Christ” in the oral traditions of numerous pagan mid-winter festivals such as the Scandinavian holiday of “Yule” or “Juul”.

Are you really that ignorant that you don’t know the fact that the first American’s – those puritans which you conservatives pretend to proudly emulate – actually were such a happy celebratory bunch they banned Christmas?

Don’t you realize that the many pagan traditions of mid-winter that most Americans enjoy today this time of year were considered disgustingly hedonistic when this nation was in its infancy.

O.K., so maybe I am wrong about you. Maybe you were misinformed and didn’t know this stuff and you are really an affable old guy with a self-effacing sense of humor like the rest of us who got caught up in this “War on Christmas” crap because it sounded rousing and Ra-Ra-American enough to be fun on Fox. That’s what I’ve been thinking this whole time.

Then I saw your comments on a Samantha Bee sketch from Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” I laughed and realized how terribly I’d misjudged you, Mr. O’Reilly.

I’ve given you way too much credit because you really are this ridiculous that you would try and pick a fight with one of the greatest credits to American entertainment – Mr. Jon Stewart on such a petty minded premise.

Jon Stewart – I would dare venture the finest Satirist of his time, a man that surely Mark Twain would have had much to say about – and you pick a fight on the most ridiculous of premises – That Jon Stewart is anti-Christian … or at least anti-Christmas.

Lord Byron wrote, “Fools be my theme, Let Satire be my song”.

Clearly, during an incident that you have vowed that you will never mention again (but we will – oh how we love reminding your Fox-Fanatic Squad of your true nature) you’ve made it quite clear that you have about as much respect for women as you do for non-Christians.

Therefore I’m sure that you are very happy with the women-hating passages in the bible – and yet you talk about American freedom all the time.

If only public hypocrisy was rewarded with herpes!

Mr. O’Reilly, $100 from my single-income family to a worthy charity of your choice (perhaps one to do with American soldiers abroad) if you can send me a tape of you reading the portion of this letter which tells the truth about “The Reason for the Season” on the air on your show as a rebuttal to the fiction you are peddling.

Regards,

Me.

I’d really like to get your thoughts.

Thanks,

Deoxy.

11 thoughts on “Vent Buffer - Bill O’Reilly : Should I send him something like this?

  1. If it makes you feel better to send it then go ahead, but I doubt it would make any real difference if you do. If Bill “Douchebag” O’Reilly is really as ignorant as he makes himself seem on his show then he’s likely reality immune and if he’s not really that ignorant then he’s disingenuous enough that he’ll continue to insist on his version of history to continue pulling in the ratings.

    It’s difficult for me to even rant about O’Reilly these days because it always ends up devolving into vitriol. His arguments are vacuous at the best of times and there’s just so much more I could be doing with my time than sitting around pointing out what an idiot he is. I’ve tried several times to sit down and write about his whole “War on Christmas” bullshit and had to scrap it every time because it just took on a mind of its own.

  2. I’m pretty sure you’d lose him at the first four words; “I’m not a Christian”. Also, your letter is quite long and he always asks for short letters.

    I notice when he’s reading his mail on his show, and he reads a very apt criticism of him, he scoffs and says “yep, that’s it.  That’s the real reason.”  Pretty funny.

  3. there are relevant things to say about Mr. O’Reilly, I’m sure, but I can’t think of them. Hundred bucks he tosses it within the first line. Gifts are better.

    Like these gifts. I dunno… the guy always struck me as a whiny sort, and incredibly pompous; like he’s sincerely offended when people are adamantly opposed to something (anything) he believes or does.

  4. I think it’d be great for you to send it.  My hunch is that Mr. O’Reilly and common sense are like oil and water, but don’t let that stop you from writing the idiot!

  5. I think maybe I’l send Bill one of these to see if his head comes off…..

    cafepress.com/godschmod

    I like when people poke that stupid ass with a stick. It’s so easy to get him going, making himself look even more dumb, if that’s possible.

    *snicker*

  6. Growing up, my next-door neighbors were Iranian immigrants, and every year at holiday time they would send us over some baked filafel. To REALLY piss off ol’ Billy, I ought to just say, “Happy holidays, Mr. O’Reilly, and have some filafel!” LOL

  7. It’s so difficult to write a short letter explaining why celebrating the mass of “Jesus Christ” on December 25th is utterly absurd.

    The number of reasons I can come up with why the Christian bible is a crock and the number of facts which prove that the winter holidays we celebrate today are purely of a pagan nature are so many that I just can’t bear to only write one or two.

    Once you start with one reason why “Christmas” is in fact entirely secular and pagan in nature it just leads you to the next and the next and so on.

    I just want to spread the good news of the truth that you can celebrate the holiday season with all the usual trimmings of trees, mistletoe, lights, gifts, feasting, burning Yule logs, eating Ham and Turkey, etc. etc. etc. without having to lobotomize yourself and your entire family to rid them of their critical thinking skills.

    A Merry (Secular) Yule to you all.

    Regards,

    Deoxy.

  8. I’m not a Christian either… and Bill comes in second (only behind Bush) in terms of completely enraging/amazing me with the balls he has to say some of the things that come out of his mouth. Lately, I feel like both of them are on a quest to prove just how much having money means that you can completely ignore the truth and make up your own facts. Sometimes he pulls a trick that I am occasionally guilty of: when you realize someone has proven you wrong- just flat out deny it and insist that you are wrong until they give up or go away.

    Since it is the season to be giving… I think I’d get him a new vibrator… we already know he likes them. He should have one that’s big enough to match his ego.

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