Semi-Evil Archbishop to succeed Joseph Ratzinger

Well well well, looks like pigs really DO fly. The Most Reverend William J. Levada, Archbishop of San Francisco, will take over the Pope’s old job as Doctrine Defender. How unexpected; he’s not even a Cardinal yet.

San Franciscans here a little shaken up about this. Some people don’t like him at all. My school is right next to where he lives, and I’ve never seen him there. I met him once, when he confirmed me (yes, I used to be a Catholic). He’s not a people person. He wouldn’t even visit the classrooms at my elementary school; he just waved outside at us. Miserable.

I call him Semi-Evil because, while he did lead an anti-gay protest in San Francisco (emphasis added), he did allow an all-gay parish in the castro to stay open. Of course, leading an anti-gay protest in San Francisco is like going to Mississippi and yelling stop loving Jesus!. Not very effective.

He will resign on his 10th year anniversary here on August 17th, and we’re all wondering who will take over. The question is a resounding ‘now what?’. We’ll have to see. Levada is the highest ranking American in the Vatican ever (which means I can brag to my catholic friends that I was confirmed by him), but at least he’s only Semi-Evil. It’s not like we have Jerry Falwell as the Pope’s right-hand man…

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