A couple of dumbasses in England, in an apparent bid to prove that Americans don’t have a lock on being idiots, are recovering from injuries they received while trying to stage a lightsaber duel using fluorescent light tubes filled with “petrol” which they lit on fire and then swung at each other.

A police spokeswoman said the pair were taken to West Herts Hospital before being transferred to the specialist burns unit at Broomfield Hospital, Chelmsford, in Essex.

They are both said to be in a critical condition.

She said the 17-year-old girl and a 20-year-old man from Hemel Hempstead suffered serious injuries.

She added: “At this stage we are unable to confirm the exact circumstances, but glass tubes and traces of accelerant (flammable substance) were found at the scene.”

This news item was sent to me by a larger than normal number of readers so I thought I should go ahead and post it even though it’s a few days old. Kids, not only is this an excellent way to get third degree burns over most of your body it doesn’t look anything like a lightsaber. Here are two examples that should make this painfully clear.

First, real lightsabers:

Now the “petrol and fluorescent light tube” lightsabers:

See? Nothing alike. One makes you look cool as hell, the other makes you look like you’ve been to hell. Big difference. I hope you learned something from this.