Virgin Mary hanging with the bums at an underpass.

Looks like the Virgin Mary has decided that the next random object she’s going to appear on in some crude fashion is a highway underpass in Chicago:

CHICAGO – (KRT) – Obdulia Delgado turned toward the on ramp of the Kennedy Expressway when she saw something in the middle of traffic that made her stop.

She saw the image of the Virgin Mary in a large yellow and white stain on the concrete wall at the Fullerton Avenue entrance last week.

“I was so stunned I couldn’t move. People were honking,” said Delgado, 31. “It was a dream. I don’t even know how I got home.”

By Monday morning, dozens had gathered to see what they believe is the image of the Blessed Mother beneath the underpass. Groups of people filtered past the site all day, some lighting candles and leaving flowers, others praying the rosary. Most snapped pictures with digital cameras and cell phones, saying the image became clearer in pictures.

Of course it would be clearer in pictures, especially digital pictures. You already took a vague shape and made it more vague by taking pictures of it. Digital cameras tend to use JPG compression on images they capture which makes a smaller file size by literally discarding some of the data it captures making the image even more vague. The lower the resolution of the camera the more vague the image and camera phones are often the worst. The more vague the picture the more likely your brain is to rely on its pattern matching abilities to fill in the gaps to make it into something recognizable.

And if you’re already prone to seeing the Virgin Mary in vague shapes then that’s what you’re probably going to see.

To some who saw it, the image appeared as a white outline of the Holy Mother’s face wearing a shadowy cloak. To others, it looked like an ivory pawn from a game of chess.

How much you want to bet the pawn-seers play a lot of chess?

As believers came to the spot throughout the morning, police put up temporary barricades to prevent people from driving and parking in the area.

Because it’s only right that we block off traffic for a bunch of nutcases who see holy images in a fucking water stain. Who cares if you have to go out of your way to get to work now? So long as those nutty Catholics are happy praying to an underpass wall then it’s worth it.

Delgado said she had been praying to the Virgin Mary to help her pass a final in culinary school when she saw the image.

“There are many people here who believe in her. She’s here for a reason,” she said. “For me, it’s not a watermark, it’s the Virgin Mary.”

Yes! She’s here to tell the world that we need better water sealants on our underpasses!

But my favorite bit from the article is the following sentence:

It is not unusual for people to claim to see an apparition of the Virgin Mary or Jesus in unusual places.

Ain’t that the friggin’ truth! These nutcases seem to be able to see the Virgin Mary in whatever random object is at hand. You’d think Jesus and his mom would have better things to do with their time, but apparently not.

Image courtesy of Rob Ray over at Metroblogging Chicaco.

36 thoughts on “Virgin Mary hanging with the bums at an underpass.

  1. Now from what I see it looks to me like it could be the classic image of ‘death’ manning the river styx.. (fullerton avenue anybody? stinkin Chicago i cant wait to give my neighbor shit about this)
    No wait! I looked at it long enough and I have ben saved! It looks like what these people are REALLY praying to is the top half of a huge vagina! Hood and all! damn, anybody see a piercing? Man, that thing is swollen too. This might be something actually worth worship.

  2. I was hoping I was going to be the first with that.

    I, too, clearly see a vagina. Well, more correctly, the upper half of a vulva. The actual vagina isn’t visible, so I’m not sure how people have determined that it’s a virgin.

    Faith, I guess.

  3. Actually, if the Blessed Virgin were going to hang out somewhere, “with the bums at an underpass” would likely be high on the list.

    That said—pretty damned goofy.

  4. What I want to know is, where did she leave the plasma gun she was holding in the Grilled Cheese Sandwich?  If she just left it lying around, then her Son might have got His Hands on it.  You heard about what He did to that barren fig tree, without a plasma gun.  Make figs everyone, or run.

  5. I must be a pervert, because it kind of looks like a penis to me.

    I always wonder at the faith of the kind of people who go all gaga over something like that.  What kind of faith do you have when it can be bolstered by what would in effect be a holy parlour trick?  “Wow, God, you’re really good at making shadow puppets!  That one looks like Charlton Heston.”

  6. What I find truly disturbing is like Les pointed out, instead of taking names and filing reports on these lunatics so psychiatrist/therapist can call on them in hopes of helping them with their obvious delusions, we do what?

    Put up barricades to stop those of us NOT INSANE from doing our daily business in order to Bolster the validity of delusions from religious psychotics. All this does is fuck them up further, adds authority to their insane beliefs.

    All of these lunatics “should” have been gathered up and shipped to a local Sanitarium for at least a 72 hour vacation complete with mind altering drug therapy. Better still it would be a good idea to actually put crap like this in every big city in order to lure the delusional in, be like installing delusional zealot traps around the country, just round them up. Just look at the Schiavo fiasco, people this fucked up should not be allowed to walk the streets freely.

  7. maybe i should walk my dog near the overpass and see if he can shit and piss a nativity scene around the stain?…NOW, THAT’S A MIRACLE!  snake

  8. The more vague the picture the more likely your brain is to rely on its pattern matching abilities to fill in the gaps to make it into something recognizable.

    IT’S A GIANT P*SSY!!!!
    I have bever been so turned on by a hole in the wall in my life!  I have seen the HOLY of HOLIES! HALLELUJAH!!!!

  9. “I have bever”
    Supposed to read: “I have never been so turned on by a hole in the wall in my life”

    Is Catholicism always this erotic?
    Damn my family for being Protestants!!!!!

  10. Here’s the latest update to this.

    CHICAGO, Illinois (AP)—A man was arrested for allegedly scrawling the words “big lie” over a stain on an expressway underpass that some believed was an image of the Virgin Mary.

      Luckily the police were able to apprehend this “dangerous” criminal! confused

  11. Saw that on CNN today. It kills me that they’re actually going to charge this guy for defacing a stain:

    Authorities charged Victor Gonzalez, 37, of Chicago, Illinois, with criminal damage to state property, a misdemeanor. Witnesses had seen him painting the image, Banks said. A telephone listing for Gonzalez could not immediately be found.

    The article makes it sound like the State actually considered this stain something worthy of protecting which just floors me.

  12. And the silliness continues:

    Mary returns after graffiti attack – Chicago Sun-Times

    Less than 24 hours after she was lacquered in dark brown paint and mocking graffiti, the “Virgin Mary” emerged again to greet her flock Friday afternoon.

    But it wasn’t a miracle that brought back what many believe is an image of the blessed mother on a wall of the Kennedy Expy. underpass.

    An industrial-strength degreaser used to clean car engines and grimy tires did the trick.

    Armed with “Engine Shampoo,” devout Catholics Rosa Diaz and Anna Reczek walked to the Fullerton underpass during their lunch break at a nearby car wash to remove the paint and vandalism that obstructed believers’ view of the holy apparition.

    During the cleanup, the women may have wiped off part of the salt stain shape that has been drawing national attention since it was discovered last month. However, it didn’t stop throngs of believers from visiting the makeshift shrine overflowing with a white cross, candles, fresh flowers and pictures.

    OK, so someone explain to me why Victor Gonzalez was arrested, but these women weren’t? The women crossed over a police barricade and effectively vandalized the paint put up by the Illinois Department of Transportation at the direction of the Chicago Police for “safety reasons” so why haven’t they been charged?

    Police spokesman Dave Bayless said Gonzalez, unlike other vandals who scribbled religious messages on the wall, was arrested because witnesses saw him and alerted authorities.

    Oh, I see. So the fact that the women’s names are printed in the newspaper and they’ve owned up to the act isn’t enough for them to be charged. What a joke.

  13. The Virgin Mary has strange ways to reveal herself in various images while people expect so much out of how the VM should appear, and if it isn’t a clear cut image then it’s a “big lie” or a scam. The Clearwater Shepards of Chirst image on the glass building is a miracle of wonder, and recently another clear image of the Virgin Mary on a rock dubbed “Miracle Millennium of Mary”, on a blog web site are fine examples of the VM’s revealing herself in the most miraculous way!

  14. The Virgin Mary has strange ways to reveal herself in various images while people expect so much out of how the VM should appear, and if it isn’t a clear cut image then it’s a “big lie

  15. David Lee: The Virgin Mary has strange ways to reveal herself in various images

    Ah, David. You sound like you ‘know’ the Virgin … in the nicest way.
    Can you shed me some information on a coupla things?
    How did she die and how old was she when she did?
    Did she retain her virginal good-looks till she died and what sort of beauty products did she use?
    When she came did she shout to her invisble lover? Is that what caused the racial memory?
    Did she ever get to do sex with a mortal?
    My catholic mate sometimes tells me I’m going to hell when I do blashemy. Do you agree with him? LOL

  16. Saddie & Luckyjohn19: July 11th 2006 news coverage by WKOW 27 local news station in Madison, Wisconsin of Virgin Mary miracle image so incredible that makes atheist people think twice. Key in “ourladyofthethirdmillennium”, on blog.com and you will also see it there too. May the miracle of the VM bless your souls!

  17. Dammit, David Lee, you owe me a new keyboard. I ruined this one when I spit out my Diet Coke from laughing at your comment.

  18. David Lee: Virgin Mary miracle image so incredible that makes atheist people think twice.

    Is this what you’re talking about?
    The only thing it made me think about was that there’s a sucker born every minute.
    Maybe you’re one of the people who’ll decide to bid on this. LOL

  19. Seen the ABC affiliate WKOW 27 video clip of the “Madison area man shares miracle rock” image of the Virgin Mary found in the Himalayas. Some powerful miracle stuff!

  20. Larry: Some powerful miracle stuff!

    Next thing is that you’ll be bragging and saying you have a big dick – whilst we’re thinking you are. LOL

  21. Larry, if you’re impressed with a rock then I’ve got a couple of bagels you might be interested in purchasing.

  22. Wow! What are the odds that I’d find *this* picture the same day you posted *that* one? 

    Mebbe only Jesus knows for sure . . .

  23. Thanks OB.
    Thanks BT. Only the dog knows for sure. Priceless.
    Now I’ve had my belly laugh for the day.  LOL

  24. Looks like the Virgin Mary to me. She’s cloaked, kneeling, and praying. I looked back, trying to see a pussy. I could see the top half of a pussy if you only look at the bottom half of the stain.

    I saw Jesus in the dog’s butt too. Jesus’s head is the butthole. That’s funny. Forgive me, Jesus.

    Les, I don’t understand why you couldn’t figure out that graffiti is illegal, but cleaning it up isn’t. Sure, the cleanup slightly damaged the stain, but, ITS A STAIN!

  25. athiest guy, try praying,let god show you what he can do and if nothing happens then you are entitled to your lack there of (believes).

  26. Wow T, no one has EVER tried that line of reasoning before! Hang on while I convert to Christianity right this instant for YOU have made me SEE the light!

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