Nigerian scammer tries Instant Messenger.

Had this exchange with a Nigerian scammer this morning:

    [11:56] barristerphilscorp: Hello, I am barrister Jc Philscorp from Nigeria, I am the personal attorney to late Mr Peru Jenkins, who worked with Brownson Five Inssurance Company here in Nigeria. My late client deposited the sum of $20 .5 million in Light Year Investment Bank Limited. This bank has given me some time to provide the next of kin to my late client or they will confiscate the money. Do you know this man?

    [11:56] stupidevilbastard: Oh shut up you fuck.

Surprisingly enough he did what I told him to do.

 

9 thoughts on “Nigerian scammer tries Instant Messenger.

  1. Brilliant! Nicely put! You have just managed to sum up in five words what I’ve been trying to say for 5 years!

  2. You know, what makes this even funnier is the fact that he should have looked at your screenname and taken the hint right there.

    Anyways, I just burst out laughing at that. Well done. Is it just me, or do you seem to be an idiot magnet for all the idiots on AIM?

  3. I think they see the screen name and assume it’s some sort of invitation to share their stupidity with me.

  4. Les I did the same as you and told one of those guys to go take a flying fuck. The only thing I did was let them know it was a live web-address and now the son-of-a-bitch and all his relatives mail me every day! SHIT!

  5. No matter what your decision may turn out to be, please we beg you to keep this highly secret for our safety, as we believe that those that killed our Daddy are still after us. Please reply us through this yahoo email box (julietkone40@yahoo.ca
    )

        This is the final paragraph in the version I got today. I stole your reply Les….hope you don’t mind. This story was full of poison and adventure and a promised 20% of $2.5 million. I nearly tripped over myself in my attempt to bring these poor victims to live with me. I’ll invite everybody to our first family Bar-B-Q.

  6. ROFL.

    Anyhow, too bad I miss out on all of the fun, anyone not on my contact list can’t contact me period in GAIM or Trillian.

  7. collinsta2advance : what kind proves do you need from again i will supply you
    ronald_842003: you dont know the meaning of friendship
    ronald_842003: ok
    collinsta2advance : please forget what you been have with people things are differents ok
    ronald_842003: show me your anti criminal certificate from UNO
    ronald_842003: anti drug
    ronald_842003: anti murder
    ronald_842003: etc.
    collinsta2advance : you should know i ran away because of war
    collinsta2advance : even there is certificate of deposite in my vault which he used in depositing some money for in nigeria before his death
    collinsta2advance : even connect you with bank were this money is
    ronald_842003: why do you want to send the money to me
    ronald_842003: even you dont know me well
    collinsta2advance : that is i contact you nigeria to aviod raising eye brows
    collinsta2advance : again this money cannot be obtain by local account you understand
    ronald_842003: ok
    collinsta2advance : that why i dont want to disclose this any how any body or else the capable one as i have hard from you for the first time
    ronald_842003: but i told you before also
    ronald_842003: if you are a cheat you will never get anything from me
    collinsta2advance : and the money in question is US$3
    ronald_842003: i can not spend a penny for this transaction which is false i know
    collinsta2advance : us$3.000.000
    collinsta2advance : no not false
    collinsta2advance : believe me
    ronald_842003: how much money
    ronald_842003: us dollar $3
    collinsta2advance : US$3.000.000 DOLLARS
    collinsta2advance : THREE MILLION DOLLARS IS NOT ONLY FOR ME
    ronald_842003: you means 3 million
    ronald_842003: yes that is not only for me also
    collinsta2advance : I BELIEVE THAT CAN LEAD TO WHAT EVER I WANT TO IN MY LIFE
    collinsta2advance : BUT IF YOU WILL AGREE WE DISCAUU THE PERCENT YOU WILL IN ASSISTANTING ME TAKE
    ronald_842003: but you know i dont give much priority to money than human being
    collinsta2advance : BY PROVIDING YOU ACCOUNT WERE THIS MONEY WILL BE LODGE INTO
    ronald_842003: when
    collinsta2advance : NOW
    ronald_842003: but you know i have lost faith in those things
    ronald_842003: and i have enough to run my own life
    ronald_842003: i am very well by His grace
    collinsta2advance : i know but iam not
    collinsta2advance : also iam dieing here in this camp
    collinsta2advance : and decide to establish my life in your country as soon as the gets in your a

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