WORLD JUMP DAY 20 JULY 2006 11.39:13 GMT
JOIN US IN AN ATTEMPT TO DRIVE PLANET EARTH INTO A NEW ORBIT
In the “I wonder if I should believe this” category:
Scientific research has proven that this change of planetary positioning would very likely stop global warming, extend daytime hours and create a more homogenous climate.
Global warming has nothing on industrious humans, at least not according to scientists from the ISA/Munchen, Germany. They’ve “published a report (interview excerpt, Prof Peter Niesward, June 23, 2004) which affirms the theory that planet earth could be driven out of it’s current orbital rotation by the combined force of human beings jumping.” Prof. Hans Niesward and his colleagues estimate it will take a minimum of 600 million people jumping at the same moment in the Western hemisphere to effect the desired orbit.
The result of this, in relation to planetary dimensions, only slight change, would reduce global warming to a minimum and will level the global climate, resulting in a decrease of uninhabitable land, especially in large areas of sub-Saharan Africa.
The site includes a drop down guide to local jump-times so that 300 million people jumping too early won’t cause the planet to laugh at their puny efforts. You can join in this world orbit-changing day and receive an email warning the day before jump day. Synchronization of watches is up to each individual; jump too soon and you’ll embarrass yourself in front of a LOT of people.
Now if we could only figure out how to deal with those pesky terrorists. We’ve already tried jumping on them.