LIBERTY AND FREEDOM

LIBERTY AND FREEDOM

By Peter Fredson

A Political Satire

When George II ascended to the throne this year he made a speech that mentioned “liberty and freedom” over 40 times.  This is surely enough for us to forgive his illicit invasion of Iraq, causing the death of over 100,000 Iraqis, demolishing thousands of Iraqi homes, letting 1600 of our troops be killed and thousands to suffer wounds and loss of limbs. His liberty and freedom surely allow him to put a huge airbase in Iraq, install a huge embassy, install a puppet regime and now to threaten Syria and Iran. Condi Rice when asked if Bush had plans to invade Iran and Syria remarked “Not at the present time.” How about 5 minutes from the present time?  If you listen closely you can hear the muffled drum beat of war mongering in the daily declarations of George Bush denouncing Syria and Iran. Even now his pilotless planes are circling over sovereign Muslim countries and several hundred True Believers in liberty and freedom are hard at work inside of Syria and Iran to fathom the evil intentions of the Syrians and Iranians. Bush loves to play military hero, swaggering in uniform, swashbuckling his way through the U.N. and smirking his way through corporate takeovers of the resources of the world. All this is done in the name of liberty and freedom, as our troops invade evil empires to spread democracy by cruise missile and armored vehicles.

We are now lamentably in a cultural war in the U.S.  The war was declared by the Far Right that soon afterwards captured the entire congress. But the enemy still lurks everywhere, preventing True Believers from posting 10 Commandments, crucifixes, and other symbols of sincere and holy faith in public places.

So, to help George II fight the liberal enemy, I have decided to emulate former Judge Roy Moore of Alabama.  I want the entire world to acknowledge the Bush vision of liberty and freedom. Half measures will no longer be adequate.

To that end I have spent countless hours in my basement making a symbol of liberty and freedom for all to see and cherish.  I have taken the finest wood to make a sculpture of Spartacus on a crucifix.  I have used several pounds of gold leaf to decorate it. No one can object to this. It is secular, moral, edifying and a beautiful model for every True American.

I and my brothers are going to load Spartacus into our pickup truck and take it to the Post Office tonight. We have picked out a blank wall in the Post Office where we will hang our moral statement.  It is not intrusive but if anyone objects they can always avert their gaze to look at WANTED posters

There is no taxpayer money involved. It is a private donation and no charge will be made to install Spartacus.  No state or national legislative body is involved, and no law is necessary to be passed. The sculpture is handsome, with lots of gold leaf, and once it is in place it would be a shame if somebody tried to take it down. We are now bargaining with a novelty company to make small scale models of the sculpture so that every classroom, courthouse, post office, and congressional office can have one to show the wonderful beautiful model of Spartacus as a champion of liberty and freedom.

We intend to offer a large model to churches, to hang next to whatever crucifix they now have to show their love for freedom and liberty. Think of the moral value involved with two crucifixes!

We will also offer a small bobbing-head model to hang from your rear view mirror and let you meditate on the vision of George II.  Surely this is innocuous, moral, secular, and beautiful! Surely this is “expression of a belief that humans are valuable, sacred & deserve to be protected by laws.”

And, surely this is what George II would want for all Americans. 

LONG LIVE FREEDOM AND LIBERTY!

6 thoughts on “LIBERTY AND FREEDOM

  1. Well, it is a debate as to whether the war in Iraq is illegal or legal. Note that I am talking on a strict legal aspect rather than the justification stories such as humanity, freedom, etc.

    Of course, there is also one school of thought that does not believe that there is anything such as international law.

    But anywho, I doubt there will be invasion of either countries. Strategic strikes, maybe but no full invasion. The reason is Iraq. One do not know whether is Iran pursuing a peaceful nuclear program or a weapons program. But if they are pursuing a weapons program now, or rather the past few months is the best time. As long as Iraq is not stable US troops are not available for anything else so there is a window of opportunity for them to develop nuclear weapons such that by the time the US are ready, Iran would already have a nuclear deterrant.

  2. Pop Tarts:  I hope your optimism about Bush belligerency is correct.  You may be right about international law, but the alternative is anarchy…which we may have anyway. 
      In my searching the news and journals for International Atomic Inspectors, I did not detect any grave or startling development with Iran using atomic material to make weaponry but all indications are that they really want to use it for domestic power requirements. I would never rely on Bush’s judgement on anything .. economics, environment, social security, medicare, employment, etc. so I do not accept his daily provocations of Iran and Syria as anything but rhetoric designed to divert our attention from the worst administration in memory.

  3. Wouldn’t it be nice if the rest of the world could get feedom liberty the peaceful way the Us & France did…oh wait, shotguns & guillotines…Hmmm, could it be that people need freedom most when it is being most violently opposed?

    As for the crucifix, send me a picture!  If I could make $ on that pyramid scheme, maybe I could quite dealing with brats all day & tutor only those I accept…

    As for the analogy, time-wise, Cecil B. DeMille was donating these monuments when George II was only 10, George I’s father, Prescott was only recently elected Senator in Conneticut, where I didn’t find any monuments to be donated…

    But Peter, do you have your own blog?  if not, you should…

  4. One thing that I always think about when the US and also the UK for that matter start going on about other countries having nuclear weapons etc.

    I ask myself well if we have them, then why can’t they? Is it some moral high ground thing, that means we are supposedly trustworthy and therefore permitted to have them?

    It’s not like either of our countries can really claim to be such upstanding members of the international community to justify our holding onto weapons that are banned for everyone else.

    After all it wasn’t such a terribly long time ago that the UK allowed Argentina to think we wouldn’t make a fuss if they took the Falkland isles back. When in reality a certain unpopular prime minister at the time, wanted/needed a war to boost her popularity.

    That’s just one example, and there are hundreds, thousands even, it seems in our societies the political currency is peoples lives. Quite sad really that we have such heartless individuals rising to positions of power, who will trade other peoples lives for a little benefit to their own agendas.

  5. I agree that the Iraq war is a terrible obfuscation that draws attention away from domestic woes. The price of crude oil is currently at $53 per barrel. That translates into unprecedented fuel prices.  Yet here in Texas there are more oil wells in production than have ever been before. And new rigs are popping up everywhere. I occasionally help my brother who is an owner/operator of a semi-truck.  With the diesel price averaging over $2.05 per gallon and the fact that semis only get 5 to 7 miles per gallon; we have a national crisis. Almost all truck owners, and many major trucking outfits, are at or near bankruptcy. Compounding this problem are high insurance rates and excessive Federal and State taxes.  Since all food and goods are transported by truck in this country, every person in this country is affected by this problem.  The news media, distracted by the Middle East and Michael Jackson, are failing to inform the general public of this domestic crisis. If you want varification of this, just get access to any C.B. radio and listen. There is constant talk of a shut-down or general strike now. So, it is not surprising that GeorgeII is using Iran and Syria as a new smokescreen.

  6. I ask myself well if we have them, then why can’t they? Is it some moral high ground thing, that means we are supposedly trustworthy and therefore permitted to have them?

    Serai, the best answer to that is Tom Lehrer’s:

    First we got the bomb, and that was good
    ‘cause we love peace and motherhood

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