And now for something completely different …

Let’s take a break from arguing about the Bible and turn our attention to other recruiting methods in our very midst.

Read My Little Golden Book About Zogg:

It all makes sense, if you think about it.  And it’s a better argument for Intelligent Design, too.

 

22 thoughts on “And now for something completely different …

  1. Ooops,I think I may be a new True Believer! But seriously folks;this story brings to mind a show I remember from several years ago.This lesbian mormon was excommunicating herself from the mormon church by simply stating it publically(there may have been a problem with her sexuality too;I cant remember)
    Anyway to get to my point,she happened to mention her group believed Jesus was an alien and heaven was actually a planet called Cobalt or Kobold – something like that.
    Could never tell if she was joking – Any ideas?

  2. And while i’m whipping up a little religious propaganda,apparently the mormons always wear thier “magic underwear”which has mason symbols sewn on each nipple and the belly-button!
    My sources tell me they never take them off – they even bathe with one hand out of the bath clutching said under-wear.Legend tells off the devout mormon who was burned hideously save for where covered by the Holy Underwear.Amen

  3. GM= LOL Too much!  You’re right- this makes a lot more sense than ID, the Bible, and the Book of Mormon combined and squared!  I’m not just saying that so I don’t get negarayed.

    And I’m sure it’s compatible with the Invisible Pink Unicorn and Diminutive Underwear Drawer Trolls, too (I’m crossing my fingers on this one, and throwing a pinch of fairy dust over my middle shoulder).

  4. Wow. how is the mormons magic underwear different from your rosary, or your cross?  or your st. christophers medallion?

    Try not to sigle one religious group out for extra mockery, there all equally ludicrous.

  5. Try not to sigle one religious group out for extra mockery, there all equally ludicrous.

    Did you type that with a straight face? Mystical underpants have to be one of the most hilarious things I ever heard of.

  6. The underwear is not mystical, it is symbolic. And, yes, Mormons do excommunicate lesbians and gays, unless you promise to be celebate. Their underwear is something like the 13 buttons on the old Navy dress blues, it gave you 13 chances to RETHINK your next actions. And, like Zilch, The Book of Zogg does make a lot more sense than ID, the Bible, and the Book of Mormon combined and squared. I, on the other hand, am saying that so I don’t get negarayed. LOL

  7. Not mystical people – magical.I don’t think the other faiths believe thier toys give them super-powers….But if it were really cool;like x-ray vision,I’d consider joining up!

  8. If anyone wants to know more about Mormon magic undies you should watch the episode of John Safran versus God where he gets hold of a pair. That segment really convinced me of their effectiveness because he was attacked by a bear the very night he purchased the underwear and they protected him (unfortunately, we only have his word to go on about that last bit, but I trust him).

  9. Yes, the Mormons (reputedly the wealthiest church in America) vie with the Zogglings for sheer weirdness.  Here’s some more info about their “garments”:

    In those days [the 1970s] garments were one-piece, made of thick nylon, and cut like very loose teddies; they had a scoop neck and little cap sleeves and they came to the knee.  The amount of coverage wasn’t accidental: One of the purposes of “garments” is to make sure that Mormons eschew daring clothing.  The other is more directly theological: The underwear’s holy nature is expressed by small markings sewn into the cloth over each breast, the navel, and one knee.  (The markings signify comforting homilies like “deal squarely with your fellow men,” and are intended to serve as reminders of temple covenants.  The symbols themselves derive from the fact that Joseph Smith was a newly initiated and enthusiastic Freemason when he originated the Mormon temple rites in 1842, and so the Masonic compass and square appear on the left and right breasts of the Mormon garments.)  The garments had one other characteristic that, if not actually biblical, did have something to do with creation: Women’s garments were slit in the crotch, very generously, so that they flapped open and left a girl’s greatest fascinations exposed.

    But hey- Brigham Young had a reported 56 wives, so I guess they are on to something…

  10. The format of this book reminds me of some of the propaganda ‘primers’ the Nazis had published in order to indoctrinate Germany’s youth during the 30’s about such subjects as the evils of world Jewery etc. So, I guess when little childern look up at the night sky they should’nt see the majesty of nature and observe the blessings of creation but instead should fear that the aliens who have conquered half the known universe will come down from those same stars and suck their brains out through thier collective noses( unless of course you do exactly what the cult leader says because he is the aliens agent here on Earth) Humans are such tools you will be easy to conquer—er.. ahhh oopps…

  11. I have to laugh. I read through all of your comments and you apparently have no clue about Mormons. I am one. okay, our garments arent secret, they’re sacred, and thats why we dont talk about them. But if you must know- Why do pastors, preachers, and other high offices in churches wear the glitzy apparrel? They dont do it to show off- they do it because it shows people who they are. Same thing with us, We just wear them to remind us of promises we made and to remind us of who we are. Now, I think its kinda a weird fettish to be interested in someone elses underwear.

  12. I am one. okay, our garments arent secret, they’re sacred, and thats why we dont talk about them.

    Oh, you mean garments, right? I have a Mormon friend who wears them. I personally think they’re quite cute-looking, even though I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing them myself (as I hear they’re intended to promote and encourage chastity).

  13. I think its kinda a weird fettish to be interested in someone elses underwear.

    You do? Even with Victoria Secrets in every mall in the country? I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m more interested Mormon underwear than I am any Mormon holy texts.

    After all, all you have to do is ask to find out about somebody’s religion. You have to buy a lot of beer before you get them to talk about their underwear.

    That might be the problem with religion. If everyone kept their religious beliefs as personal as their underpants it might even be tolerable. Heck, it might even become interesting instead of annoying.

  14. After all, all you have to do is ask to find out about somebody’s religion. You have to buy a lot of beer before you get them to talk about their underwear.

    …which is unlikely to get you anywhere with an observant Mormon, since they eschew alcohol.

    Having read the Book of Mormon (okay- I skimmed some of it) I will agree with you, MrMook, about the relative interest factor of text and undies.

    Nothing personal to you Mormons out there- everyone has weird beliefs- what I don’t get is how someone could read the Bible and not see that the Book of Mormon is obviously a pale takeoff, not nearly as well written as its inspiration: sort of like The Sword of Shannara compared to The Lord of the Rings.  In fact, it’s just what one might expect a Freemason’s son growing up in the boonies to write, if he were convinced that an angel spoke to him.

  15. Why do pastors, preachers, and other high offices in churches wear the glitzy apparel

    The Parasitic Paedophilic Pestilent Priests and Prissily Petulant Popes do that so the gullible mindless workers will believe in the pap they’re served. Dazzle them with unusual attire that no one would be seen dead in and weave some invisible magic (not with a Harry Potter wand though – they’re not that dumb … but then again, I recall Moses’ words when he recalled Ron L Hubbard say: We’ll see how stupid they really are) and they’re putty in the master-scammer’s hands.
    And if the conman is really, really clever he can create enough fear so they’ll tithe to be saved; that’s just as a little bonus.

    It’s a veritable goldmine out there.
    There’s good money to be made from religion … if you can keep a straight face.  sick

  16. I had to laugh at the Google ads that came up on this page as the last one was for Mormon Underwear which bills itself as a guide to the sacred undergarments.

  17. The garments hit the floor just as fast as Hanes, if not faster, when your partner doesn’t want you to know there wearing them. So no they don’t stop anything anymore than boxers do. Theres no such thing as magic underwear or super boxers. The only thing magical about them is how fast they can come off when they need too.

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