Posters on New York busses suggest reading a book will get you some oral sex.

A great link here. Reminded me of some bumper stickers that appeared a few years ago, “Save a tree – Eat a beaver!” Anyone else rember some good posters or bumper stickers?

31 thoughts on “Posters on New York busses suggest reading a book will get you some oral sex.

  1. Get brain?

    Maybe I am old, but that’s an incredibly stupid slang phrase.  Yet another sign that the youth ain’t quite as bright as we be.

  2. I imagine (in my dotage) that it’s a variation on “get head,” another step evolved (sort of like Cockney rhyming slang).

    Most slang is pretty stupid, but its purpose is not to be witty, but to be “in.” 

    Groovy, man.

  3. A couple of bumper stickers, from Berkeley circa 1969:

    Honk if you love Jesus

    Honk if you’re horny [it took me a while to realize this was a pun]

    When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns

    When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws

    Use an accordian, go to jail

  4. Kelly said it was sad that “you can’t take things at face value any longer,” adding, “We’ll have to learn from experience before we accept ads.”

    I learned that from politics.

    Some of my fav stickers – a small sample, I have a 12 page word doc of my favorite sayings/quotes/sticker phrases I’ve collected over the years. 

    We brake for nobody.

    This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random

    Evolution takes no prisoners.

    Buckle Up!  It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.

    Nice front bumper you got there.  Shame if something happened to it.

    Follow that car, Godzilla – and step on it!

    It’s fun to use learning for evil!

    My other car contains a bomb. Praise Allah.

    Honk if I left my kid on the car roof!

    Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

    Honk if parts fall off!

    A baby’s life begins at conception, yours ends when you knock up my daughter.

    Heavily medicated for your safety.

    Honk if you’ve never had a loaded weapon pointed at you.

    Someday we’ll all look back on this and plow into a parked car.

  5. I don’t care what it takes to get people to read more. “Read Books, Get Brain” is clever as hell, Alex, and doing so would certainly assist some in their orals.

  6. This thread is funny and so I’d like to help that along.

    – When someone says “I’m gonna kick your ass,” why do they usually punch your face?

    – Red Sox Win World Series – In other news: Ice Skaters Flock To Hell

    – He is still not my President!

    – Probed by Aliens and I’m STILL horny!

    – Bush: “Gee Lincoln was right. You can can fool some of the people all of the time”

    – When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start to look like nails

    – Honk If You Want To See My Middle Finger!

    – If we’d known you’d be so much trouble, we’d have picked our own damn cotton.

    – Bush/Cheney ‘04: Compassionate Colonialism.

    – (On a red-backed bumper sticker) “If this sticker is blue, you’re driving too fast.

  7. Almost forgot—the director of my high school had these magnets on his filing cabinet:

    Druids do it in the woods

    Gene police: you, out of the gene pool!

  8. The following I have on my truck:

    “It’s called thinking, you should try it sometime.”

    “Stop Following me, I don’t know where I’m going”

    “One by One the Penguins steal my sanity.”

    The following I want on my truck, but haven’t put up do to fact that my parents would probably throw a fit:

    “I blame my parents”

    “My other ride is your mom”

    These others are just ones I’ve seen that I’ve found amusing.

    “Be safe tonight, sleep with a cop”

    “Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic”

  9. Oh, and can anyone please fill me in on the “visualize whirled peas” bumper sticker? Neither my roommate nor I understood it.

  10. Chief- here’s a very tangential answer to your question.  I hope everyone indulges me this not-very-pertinent-to-thread digression.  It’s a little too big for a bumper sticker, but also funny.

    Background:  when statistical analyses of the monk Gregor Mendel’s experiments in inheritance were done in the 30’s, the numbers turned out too good to be true for the size of his samples- in other words, Mendel guessed what the ratios should be and did a little “cooking”.  Of course, he was right anyway, but the news inspired some anonymous wag to pen the following:

    Peas on Earth

    In the beginning, there was Mendel, thinking his lonely thoughts alone.  And he said “Let there be peas”, and there were peas and it was good.  And he put the peas in the garden saying unto them “Increase and multiply, segregate and assort yourselves independently” and they did and it was good.  And now it came to pass that when Mendel gathered up his peas, he divided them into round and wrinkled, and called the round dominant and the wrinkled recessive, and it was good.  But now Mendel saw that there were 450 round peas and 102 wrinkled ones; this was not good.  For the law stateth that there should be only 3 round for every wrinkled.  And Mendel smote the table in righteous wrath, saying “Depart from me, you cursed and evil peas, into the outer darkness where thou shalt be devoured by the rats and mice,” and lo it was done and there remained 300 round peas and 100 wrinkled peas, and it was good.  It was very, very good.  And Mendel published.

  11. *smack forehead* Oh man… how did I miss something so obvious… Guess I never said it outloud to myself. That or I was just too confused on why anyone would be talking about peas on a bumper sticker. Thanks for the clarification.

    Of course, now I don’t get “Don’t piss me off, I have PMT”

    I’m just about helpless aren’t I? *lowers head in shame*

  12. “My child is an honor student at Folsum Correctional Facility.”

    “My child can kick your honor student’s ass.”

  13. PMT = premenstrual tension (also known as PMS).

    “I have PMS and the root password.  BACK OFF!!”

  14. I always thought that PMT was a byproduct of PMS and commonly experienced by two or more people in a household at the same time.

    wink

  15. Thanks GM.  Now I know what to call it (in my mind, of course, not out loud) when my lady is bouncing off the walls once a month.  A very good time to catch up on my housework.

  16. Some very useful things to say at that time of the month:

    “Why don’t you take a nice, long, hot bath while I do the dishes?”

    “Honey, you look like you could use this here pint of Haagen-Dazs.”

    “You’re wonderful and I love you.  Please stop waving that Cuisinart blade around my privates.”

  17. Thanks for the clarification GeekMom.  I shall definitely have to remember “You’re wonderful and I love you.  Please stop waving that Cuisinart blade around my privates

  18. I’m sure most people have seen pictures of the diner sign that says,

    “Eat here, get gas”.

    One for the Republicans (on my brother-in-law’s truck),

    “Work harder, millions on welfare depend on you”

    I actually saw a New Hampshire license plate that said,

    “4MORE4W”.  I didn’t know you could do political ads on your plate.

    And one for those who think with a dirty mind, I saw this on a local truck that does driveway sealing,

    “Hot Crack Filling”

  19. here are a few:
    KEEP HONKING! I’M RELOADING!

    HOW’S MY DRIVING? CALL 1-800-EAT-SHIT

    IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THEN THE BITCH FELL OFF (reserved for bikers)

    I FOUND JESUS! HE’S IN THE TRUNK!

    SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BIBLE BURNERS!

    next couple are appropriate Vegas bumper stickers:
    IF YOU {heart} YOUR PET THEN YOU ALREADY {spade} IT

    I {club} SEALS

    here’s one on a priest’s truck:
    JESUS HAS NO PLACE IN THE BEDROOM

    one on a former priest’s car:
    I {heart} ALTAR BOYS

    well… the priest didn’t put that on there. the boy’s friends did!

  20. One I carried for years in my glove compartment, but never had the balls (or lack of brains) to put on my bumper:
    BAD COP!
    NO DONUT!

  21. During Nixon’s second bid for the presidency: LICK DICK IN ‘72!

    During Bush’s bid for the presidency: LICK BUSH IN 2000!

    I don’t really know why I remember *those* particular bumper stickers out of all the others I’ve seen . . .

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