Falling crucifix kills woman, God sought for questioning.

Investigators in Rome are looking to question God over the death of a 67 year old woman on Wednesday who was killed when a three-meter tall crucifix fell on her head. Detectives want to know where God was at the time of the killing and if he has an alibi.

“We’ve never been able to pin anything on God in the past,” said Detective Mario Luigi, “But we’ve suspected God in a number of suspicious deaths over the years and have been working to slowly build a case against Him for some time now. It’s complicated by the fact that He has all these patsy priests willing to claim that He was with them the entire time. So far He’s been able to avoid prosecution, but it’s only a matter of time before He makes a mistake and then we’ll have Him.”

God was unavailable for comment, but a statement was released by His official spokesman, the Pope, which stated: God feels remorse over the woman’s death, but denies any involvement in this unfortunate accident as He was busy dancing with a number of angels on the head of a pin on the other side of the planet at the time.

8 thoughts on “Falling crucifix kills woman, God sought for questioning.

  1. Care to write a screenplay.

    A certain type of believer will say it was either god’s will or that the woman was somehow deserving of getting herself killed that way. Like Cindi said…

  2. There has to be something there.  After all, isn’t one of their favorite mind-sops “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”  shock

    I don’t suppose any of the believers will take this as god’s way of saying “I’m sick to death of you people.”

  3. You mean like in Dogma?  (The Kevin Smith movie.  )  I swear, to this day, that’s still my favorite movie of all time.  It helps to have a background in the religion to understand some of the inside jokes….but it’s funny to just about anyone. 

    It’s as Rufus, the thirteenth apostle said: 

    “I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a
    belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from
    idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit
    growth; new ideas can’t generate. Life becomes stagnant. That was one thing
    the Man hated – still life. He wanted everyone to be as enthralled with
    living as He was.”…“A belief’s a dangerous thing, Bethany. People die for it. People kill for
    it.”

  4. Exactly, as in Dogma.  A movie that every severely lapsed catholic can relate to.  And I actually knew a priest that blessed his golf clubs.

    If there is such a force as god, I just cannot imagine that he approves of any of this.

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