Seems Ben over at Scattered Words wrote a small entry about us here at Stupid Evil Bastard in which he muses on how hard we work at making ourselves feel better about not knowing God and our apparent fascination with him. It came as a trackback to Brock’s entry awhile back contrasting Scattered Words with The Hulk’s Blog. As it turns out that is the second trackback to that entry from Scattered Words so I have to wonder who it is that’s really fascinated with whom in this situation. Anyway, I wrote a lengthy comment as a reply, but his TypeKey authentication wasn’t working properly so it got put into a moderation queue so it could be screened to prevent “malicious comments” from appearing on his blog. On the off-chance that my reply ends up being counted as too malicious for Ben to handle I decided to post it here as well, but you may want to go read his entry first or this won’t make a lot of sense.
- If all you see in my blog is an effort to feel better about not knowing God then you’re only seeing what you want to see and not what’s actually there. The very idea of trying to make myself feel better about not knowing something I don’t believe exists is nonsensical in the first place.
I have expressed disdain and I have been rude and insulting to those who would come to my blog and try to tell me I’m wrong without having something in the way of a decent argument to backup their point of view and this mainly comes from the weariness of hearing the same old lines over and over again, but I don’t hate these people. Oddly enough, I don’t hate anyone. Yes, I consider many believers to be very much like sheep of which many are ignorant or self-deluded, but saying these things doesn’t bring me any sense of superiority or make me feel good as you assume. If anything it saddens me to think we’ve been around for so long and have yet to outgrow so many of our childhood fantasies.
You do flatter yourself to think so much of these comments on my site are directed at you. I think you’ve been mentioned in all of three entries out of over 2,000, two of which were written by a guest author. The one mention that I made myself was in comparison to Senator Ed Schrock who would appear to be another homosexual man trying to deny his true nature by wrapping himself in the cloak of religious belief.
You have no big secret to share, but I understand what it is you think you have because I used to be a believer myself at one time. Further reading of my blog would have revealed that to you. My sense of peace was developed after I gave up belief in a deity. Considering the struggles you write about here on your blog I’d say I’m probably more at peace than you are, but then I know who I am and I don’t try to be something that I am not.
As for not wanting to hear it, the truth is I discuss religion and God quite often with a number of friends who are believers and there are many believers who frequent my blog daily. I find the topic rather fascinating most of the time. What I grow tired of is people who show up intent on converting me with their Bible Conversion Manual in hand spouting the same sad arguments that the last fifty people who showed up with a similar intent used.
In actuality I really don’t care if you want to believe in a God or Gods or what have you. If it makes you happy and lets you sleep at night and keeps you from climbing the clock tower with a high powered rifle then you go right ahead and believe in whatever you want for all I really care. But if you’re going to come to me and tell me I’m wrong for not believing the same way or, worse, try to get laws passed based purely on your religious viewpoints then we’re going to have an argument and if you come across as an idiot I’m going to call you on it.
As for you specifically, I have no great fascination for you. The entry you listed was written by my guest author, Brock. A distinction you haven’t made clear in this entry thus prompting my reply. Personally, I feel a little sorry for you in that you can’t seem to accept yourself for who you are and thus cause so much more torment for yourself by trying to change what is essentially a fundamental part of your nature, but beyond that you don’t cross my mind all that often. Brock will have to speak of his own fascination with you, or lack thereof, on his own.
Does speaking out make me feel better? Only in the sense that it allows me to vent some frustration about my fellow humans. It doesn’t make me feel superior or give me a warm fuzzy, but it does avoid the depression that would likely come from bottling it up inside. It also provides people with another point of view to consider. If it makes a few people think a little more about things then so much the better.