Dance Dance Resurrection - A new Concept in Christian Electronic Entertainment

What do you get when you cross one of the biggest video game crazes in years with youth ministry? You get Dance Dance Resurrection!! Com’on and get funky with Jesus!

An exciting new development in Christian Entertainment!

Parents! Are you worried about your teenage son or daughter frequenting unwholesome arcades, associating with the dregs of their peer group, and spending all their allowance on games containing bloody murder, sex and profanity?

Well, worry no longer! Nu Ministries Ntertainment technology has licensed the popular Japanese fad of BeMani, or ‘Musical Games’, for the power of the Church! Yes, using Government funding, your Church can have one of our revolutionary ‘Dance Dance Resurrection’ games installed free of charge (non funded institutions charged at $4000 per installation) – And the Arcade must accept the proposal, thanks to our statute on Freedom of Religious Speech.

This game will bring the love of our Lord into the lives of these children, who otherwise would continue down the video game path straight into the claws of Satan, and also bring a little much needed cash into your treasury – 25c of every dollar spent in one of our DDR machines will be paid directly into your Churches’ account!

The site includes more details about the game including screen shots and synchronized subliminal messages, but don’t sweat it too much as it’s all a fine bit of parody.

7 thoughts on “Dance Dance Resurrection - A new Concept in Christian Electronic Entertainment

  1. “Messages played within the songs include, ‘Obey your parents’, ‘Donate to your Church’, ‘Gays will burn in Hell’ and many more inspirational quotes.”

    Is this for real?  This seems too ridiculous to really be the case?  Are you sure that the site isn’t some sort of gag?  How is “Gays will burn in Hell” inspirational?

  2. Isn’t this the same company that a few years back came out with that “Nail-‘Em” game?

    You know, the one where you got a nail gun and a dancing jesus…

  3. Ah, yes, I guess I should have read further than the link before I made a comment.  It seemed too ridiculous to be real.

  4. Don’t feel too bad, Stinkass: lots of things are too ridiculous to be real but damn! they turn out to be real anyway.  Like Bush foreign policy, the gay marriage ban ammendment proposal, the NCLB act, the Patriot act…  it sort of gets you in the habit of thinking ridiculous things might be real.  He had me going for a minute too.  hmmm

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