Jesus makes an appearance in a lava lamp.

Apparently all the local tortillas and tree trunks were booked so Jesus had to settle for a 15 year-old-kid’s lava lamp to put in an appearance recently in Indiana.

Teen sees image of Jesus in lava lamp

“I turned it on and I saw it,” Doug said. “My heart kept beating. I was so surprised about it. It was just awesome. I wasn’t scared. It was just amazing.”

The normally black wax in the lamp formed a swirling shape, much like that of a spiral staircase. In the middle of the tall, reddish-purple swirl is what appears to be a flesh-colored likeness of Jesus’ face looking downward, complete with a brown beard.

In one photo Doug took of the lamp, it appears that Jesus is wearing the crown of thorns. His mother, Sherri, likened the image to that of many renderings of Christ on the cross.

“It’s just exciting that a 15-year-old can get ready for bed, turn on the light he’s had for four years and see this,” Sherri said. “He said to me, ‘Mom, man didn’t do this.’”

The news item even has a pic of this suburban miracle and I have to admit that it looks… like… well… not much of anything really.

Depending on which part of the goo floating in the lamp I focus on I can kinda imagine where there could be the pattern of a face in profile, but neither one reminds me particularly of Jesus and at least one of them would be wearing a helluva turban on its head. In fact, it sorta reminds me of the sultan in the Prince of Persia video game. Apparition miracles just ain’t what they used to be.

24 thoughts on “Jesus makes an appearance in a lava lamp.

  1. Nice one Gary!! *has giggling fit*

    Les, I’m with you on this one. To me, these “visions” are no more credible than those people who claim they found a potato that looks like a celebrity. Hello.

  2. Whenever i read one of these stories (or, in a few cases, a co-worker relates a “personal experience”) all i can think of is the talking-mary in Waters’ movie PECKER.

  3. That is frickin’ cool man.  I mean, like, amazingly evocative like flour cascades of daffodils on an acid lake….

    SORRY, flashback moment there.  I see shit in my lava lamp all the time.  Only it’s not Jesus - really more of a glass elven staircase spiraling to the tops of the ancient forest…  Lava lamps are cool.  NOT RELIGIOUS.

    Why does this even get reported, anyway?  What a load of crap (By the way, great one on Courtney Love.  She’s oogly and evil.  And I mean evil in the sense she killed Kurt Cobain, not Satan evil).

  4. Holy Crap! I think it looks more like Osama than Jesus! I think Osama was asking the kid to join in the war against the evil America from the inside!

  5. I’m sorry, I don’t see anything. Ok, maybe a headless Statue of Liberty. I guess I’m just dumb!

    I’ll look again………..squint………rub rub….Wait…..Sweet Jesus! There he is!…It’s a miracle!

    The Shroud of Turin is a throw rug compared to this!

  6. Many of these things happen because of imaginations. For example some people see animals, objects or other things in clouds. Or for me I simply cannot make out any of the star constellations.

    Just wondering, ever looked at the moving clouds and focus on it such that it feels like instead of the cloud is moving the ground is moving and that the clouds are stationary?

    Speaking of clouds, watched the movie Amelie?

  7. As a kid, I’ve laid on the end of a dock and watched the ripples on the water moving by long enough to get the sensation that the dock was moving through the water instead.  Cool sensation.

  8. I LOVE shit like this.  The gene pool is getting so shallow you’ll scarcely get your shoes wet walking through it.  Reminds me of the time I played a Black Sabbath record backwards and heard Timothy Leary reciting the Lord’s Prayer. Weird. What the fuck is WRONG with these people?  They are searching in vain for a life beyond the cathode ray tube. Endlessly not finding it. They will die a meaningless death after voting for Bush!  Oh yeah that reminds me - visit http://www.bushflash.com/idiot.html

  9. It kinda looks like a pensive Carmen Miranda contemplating her bosom, if you ask me.
    BTW—15 year old boy snapping photos of his lavalamp at bedtime? What’s with kids these days?? Doesn’t anybody masterbate anymore??!

  10. Oh man, I hadn’t thought of that! Can you imagine trying to masturbate in the privacy in your room except every time you look at the lava lamp on your desk you see Jesus glaring down at your wee-willy disapprovingly?!?

    That kid’s gonna need lots of therapy one day…

  11. Anybody see that “Powerpuff Girls” episode where the broccoli aliens attempted to take over Townsville?
    Yeah, looks like one of those.

  12. the article says it’s purple, the photo is green.  and it looks like the hooka smoking caterpillar from Alice to me.

  13. Silly Les!  It’s not the Sultan from that video game—it’s clearly the Genie of the Lamp!

    (Insert Robin Williams imitation here.)

  14. I can’t believe nobody’s noticed what’s really in the lamp… face downturned, perhaps hard at work, looking majestic yet humble… it’s the face of George Lucas.

  15. Actually, it kinda looked like Abe Lincoln(in a turban) to me, except the nose was more pointy.

  16. The stupid thing about this is that they’re getting up in arms on the fact that the black wax seemed to be other colors, as opposed to black.  As an artist, though (and anyone who knows about mixing colors), black is defined as a full pigmentation - as opposed to the abscence of color, by science’s definition.  Whenever you mix black paint with yellow paint, it comes out tinted green; with blue, it comes out kinda purple; the same results come with red and black.  When you shine a light on the black wax, of course it’s going to seem to be different colors (especially after it’s been worn in for four years).  As far as I’m concerned, it looks green, and since there’s a slightly yellow light that’s shining on it, it makes perfect sense.

    And you’re right Brandi - it DOES look a LOT more like Osama than Jesus.  But I would have to say his nose is too protruding.

    My question is this, though - WHY THE HELL DOES IT HAVE TO BE JESUS?!  I mean, for Christ’s sake (literally, for all you conservative Christians), why the hell does Jesus have to be the center of every stupid apparition?!  New Hampshire had a face in a frickin’ MOUNTAIN that I have gone to see a dozen times.  It looked more like Abraham Lincoln than Jesus, but never did it cross my mind that it was Jesus at all.  Quite frankly, I’d put the same likeness to the lava lamp.  Some people are so single-minded, it’s disheartening.

  17. Minor nitpick: Science doesn’t necessarily say that black is an absence of light. You may want to check the Wikipedia entry for The Physics of Color as it’s one of the better explanations I’ve seen of it.

    As for it always being Jesus, well, it’s not always Jesus. Sometimes it’s his mom and sometimes it’s Elvis (for reasons one can only wonder about).

    What I want to know is: How come it’s never Joseph? Or his brother Larry?

  18. did you see the pizza box jesus on ebay?
    Uh, thanks, I guess, g poole.  But maybe if I buy it, that will cancel out my laughing at the inriPod, and I’ll get into Purgatory after all.

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