God tells woman dealership will give her a free car.

Seems God has been chatting up a 40 year old woman by the name of Marilyn Cole of Alexandria, Virgina and has convinced her that she’ll get a free car from a local dealer if she just goes over and asks for it. Unfortunately, though, it seems that God forgot to tell the folks at Malloy’s Lincoln-Mercury dealership about his desire for them to provide Cole with a free car. This hasn’t stopped Cole from racking up three trespassing charges for showing up at the dealership and then refusing to leave until she got the free car God had promised her. On Monday she was convicted of all three offenses and sentenced to 12 months in jail for each of the counts. Which sounds very serious until you learn that another one of those activist judges the Republicans are always crying about in the form of General District Court Judge Wenda K. Travers has suspended all but one month of Cole’s sentence, which Cole has already served, allowing her to waltz through the revolving door of the justice system a free woman after the trial came to an end.

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Travers convicted Cole of all offenses in February. Cole didn’t dispute that she had trespassed, or that she violated an October 2003 court order to stay away from the dealership. But she claims she was taking orders from a higher power when she went to the dealership and demanded a free vehicle from sales managers.

“I stand on what I know the Lord told me to do, whether anyone believes me or not,” Cole said Monday.

Travers admonished Cole again to stay away from the dealership – she is the third General District Court judge to do so. As conditions of her suspended sentence, Travers ordered Cole to undergo psychiatric evaluation and a year’s probation.

Travers agreed with defense attorney William J. Baker that a psychiatric evaluation seemed inappropriate in Cole’s case, but said that the mental health provider who evaluated Cole prior to her sentencing had recommended it.

“Someone might change Ms. Cole, but she’d have to believe it was God’s [will],” Baker said, arguing a psychiatric evaluation wouldn’t help Cole. He added that members of Cole’s church were concerned about her and disagreed with her in her belief about the Malloy dealership.

Cole agreed that the Malloy dealership has a right to run their business, and that she could be disruptive to it. But she told Travers that when God tells her to ask again, she will take the bus from her 4420 Scarborough Circle, Alexandria, home and ask again. Monday, Cole told Travers that “God continued to send Moses before Pharaoh, and he kept going and going.”

No doubt Moses finally got a car at the end of all those repeated journeys to see the Pharaoh too. By God he certainly deserved one after all that walking back and forth!

In all seriousness this is one of those reasons I tend to describe believers as living in a fantasy world. Cole seems to everyone who has met her to be very sincere and she’s described as “one of the nicest criminals I’ve ever met,” by the Judge who handled her case, she’s just convinced that God says she’ll get a free car if she demands one. And for all I know, he very well may have told her so. Just like God may have told Pat Robertson that Bush will win the re-election in a landslide or told Andy Rooney that Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson are “wackos.”

How do you rationally argue with someone who claims to have been told first-hand by God to do something absurd? How can anyone who believes in God and the idea that he forms a personal relationship with his followers not accept the idea that this woman is under orders from God to pester some poor automobile dealership for a free ride? Who knows, perhaps if she pesters them enough they’ll give her a free car just to get her off their backs.

16 thoughts on “God tells woman dealership will give her a free car.

  1. The problem is that issues having to do with an invisible deity are non-falsifiable.  She can say God told her she could have a free car, and nobody can say, “No, He didn’t.” 

    In the end, people end up voting on which religious claims they’re going to accept, even if they don’t realize it.  I don’t think anyone else is going to step up and say yes, God probably DID intend for her to have a car, but you’ll find plenty of people who will buy the idea that God wants Bush in the White House.

    (So did Clinton, for that matter … oooo, did I just say that out loud?  My bad.)

  2. I hope the dealership stands it’s ground and does not give her a car just to get rid of her. If they do, that will just make everyone think that God did tell her she could have one. I hope, if she goes back, they have her arrested again and again and again. If she makes a nuisance of herself, let her pay the consequences.
    This is a sad story. She is so delusional but no one is going to help her because no one wants to say there is no god.

  3. First of all, speaking as someone who believes in God and the idea that he forms a personal relationship with his followers, I have NO problem reconciling these ideas with the idea that her medication needs adjustment.

    In the bible, there ARE numerous stories of people who were told by God to do things they didn’t think they could do for various reasons. However, their stories usually involved being prophet-like, and they at least had some amount of validation in that they succeeded.

    Now, had she gone there, and they had for no other reason handed her the keys with a wink then MAYBE there would be something to the story.

    As it is…there are many treatments available today, that do not necessarily involve large voltages.

    Kat: You don’t have to worry that a dealership that prosecuted for trespassing will do anything special to make her go away (other than prosecute a fourth time.)

    Les: That was a terrible pun. You should be ashamed. :-p

  4. I think you hit the key thing there JethricOne. Moreover, if someone in the Bible claimed to have the gift of prophecy and failed to predict the outcome, the punishment for falsely claiming to be a prophet, was/is death by stoning. Kind of cut down on the number of people willing to give a try for the fun of it.

    As someone who also belives in God, I find it embarrassing when folks do stuff like this in the name of God. But there is nothing from stopping anyone from making the claim. I sometimes think it’s an unbeliever trying to make Christianity look bad.

    One of my favorite questions to ask students is: If God told you to kill your nieghbors, what would you do? How would you know if it was God talking to you? Sometimes the answers are pretty scary.

  5. Eek!  David, I think Jethricone made some completely decent points, but your response about “false prophets” deserving a death by stoning???  I mean, this woman couldn’t make a distinction between reality and fantasy— A restraining order might be in order, but capital punishment?  This would’ve been a much different story if the woman believed Jody Foster or Elmo had promised her a car, and probably a lot less newsworthy in this post-Mel environment.  But this whole thing just sounds like a delusional woman in need of some help, and even her church members seemed to have recognized that.  But a fun story is a fun story, right?

  6. I guess “god” also forgot to have her ask for a brain examine as well /sarcasism… come on honestly how many people would believe god talked to them let along talked to another? Even the believers are skeptics now and days.

  7. i understand about the notion that this lady needs medication, but it is highly possible that she got this idea from her church, or a conferenc/convention.  there are a lot of “ministers” still preaching the “name it and claim it” thing. 

    they base the teaching on Mark 11:23-25…“you can have what you say”.

    but like you have all heard before just because there are fake and counterfit $20 bills being made, does not deminish the value of the real one’s.

  8. “post-Mel environment” 😀

    “… the punishment for falsely claiming to be a prophet, was/is death by stoning. Kind of cut down on the number of people willing to give a try for the fun of it.”

    David, that is what freaks me out about your kind. Who gets to say it is a false prophet? The truth is if Jesus were real and came back to walk the Earth again, it would be you and those like you nailing him up again. It is like Les said on another thread on another topic; “you really have no sense of irony, do you?”

    … I cannot resist saying it: Either Jesus would be nailed up again, or stuck in some lab attached to a bunch of machines in this crowd. :evillaugh:

  9. I find the idea interesting that someone’s claim to have heard from Numero Uno (Alpha and Omega?) can be validated as the Real Thing if whatever they happen to say just happens to come true.  Sort of “proof by happy coincidence,” I’d say.

    If I claim that God told me your next coin toss was going to come up heads, and it does, do I get a prophet sticker or something?

    If God tells me that the country’s next president is going to be of royal heritage, a Yale grad, and likes to eat pretzels, what do I win?

    Geek(remote-view THIS)Mom

  10. maryh,
    I didn’t say they should stone her. The Bible says to stone false prophets. So Geekmom would likely not be willing to chance being stoned on the flip of her coin just so someone would listen to her the next time she spoke.

    My point was more that people today can say they heard directly from God and suffer no ill effects (a few giggles maybe). We’ve got churches full of cults that believe some guy is prophesying to them. If the end of the road for those guys was a stoning, there’d be a whole lot less of them.

    I think it’s pretty clear the woman needs help, not capital punishment. I think that even in biblical times, people would have seen that about this woman.

    And I agree totally that many that call themselves Christians will deny Christ when he comes back. In fact, I’m pretty sure the Bible says just that. And hey, it’s my kind that nailed him up there the first time! You really don’t get it, do you?

    Geekmom, a lifetime of happy coincidences? I mean, if you’re wrong just once, you die painfully. Oh yeah, sorry, forgot, you think that our very existence is a happy coincident. Gotta love a woman who plays the long odds.

  11. Ah, but if you play your cards right, you can appear to be right and be validated in your Godfulness (or psychic “ability”) without having to rely on pure coincidence, thus increasing your odds of survival. 

    Lemme get out my cold reading book and show you some miracles.

    Actually, I believe that our existence is due to millions of years of incremental, optimizing changes, with influence and feedback from our environment, that made us into this particular form.  And which suits me fine.  Was it a coincidence as in one roll of the dice?  Of course not.  It had rhyme, it had reason, it had lots of possibilities, many of which didn’t pan out.  I won’t be so Panglossian as to claim that we’re the best of all possible life forms, but I think we work pretty darn well.

  12. God, thy name be OPRAH….
    Just tell the woman to get on OPRAH, but to remember that Oprah won’t pay the car taxes.
    “Render unto Caesar, etc….” 

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