I rant about stupid people a lot. I decry the lack of critical thinking skills among the general populace. I bemoan the fact that most Americans are so credulous they’ll believe just about anything you tell them as long as you can keep a straight face and sound authoritative about it. I also take a lot of heat for calling stupid people stupid, but as long as I keep reading news items like the following you can be sure I’m going to continue to call ‘em like I see ‘em.
The restaurant industry is struggling to get in front of a bizarre hoax in which outlet managers across the country have been duped into strip-searching employees or customers.
Last week, a man allegedly claiming to be a police officer called a Fountain Hills, Ariz., Taco Bell and told the manager to conduct a strip search of a female he said had stolen a pocket book, and gave a general description of what she was wearing. Pulling aside a 17-year-old female customer who roughly fit the description, the boss complied. As in the other cases, no stolen property was found, though this is the first search involving a customer rather than an employee.
What the fuck is wrong with you idiots?! Anyone dumb enough to fall for this should be immediately sterilized so as to prevent them breeding any more stupid people. It’s inconceivable that someone would take seriously a phone call such as this and force an employee or a customer to submit to a strip search as a result. Even more stunning is that this hoax seems to have been an ongoing thing for the PAST FIVE YEARS!!
It might seem implausible that any manager could be compelled by an unknown caller to order someone to entirely disrobe and submit to a humiliating search for drugs or stolen money. Or that someone would succumb to such an examination. But investigators say there have been dozens of similar cases since 1999, involving Burger King, Wendy’s, Applebee’s and others. Similar incidents have been reported in Massachusetts, South Dakota, Indiana, Utah and Ohio. The managers and the victims of such incidents have been male and female. Investigators have begun linking the cases and say they believe the hoaxes are the work of a single person calling from North Florida public telephones using a phone card.
Dozens of cases? DOZENS?!? How many times have you people been dropped on your heads as children to make you so stupid that you’d fall for this?!?
His likely motive, they say: Not money, but power and perversion.
In the Arizona case, the caller allegedly posing as a police officer remained on the phone to instruct the manager for each step of the examination of his young customer, which included a demoralizing cavity search, says Sheriff Joseph Arpaio of Marciopa County.
For that matter, who the hell are these idiots that are allowing themselves to be stripped searched?!? I realize many of the victims are teenagers, but do we really have to start teaching our kids that Fast Food managers don’t have any authority to force them to take off their clothes no matter what crime they’re accusing them of?? What the fuck is wrong with you people?!?
Consider this an SEB PSA: STOP BEING SUCH CLUELESS IDIOTS YOU FRIGGIN’ MORONS!