Natalie’s list of things not to say to the televangelist.

I love me some Pickle Juice. I especially love it when Natalie turns her wicked wit loose on things so deserving of it. She recently landed a job at a company owned and run by good, upstanding Christians and as a result she’s posted her list of “things not to say…” while on such a job. Here’s a few of my favorites:

  • Was Joan of Arc just some crazy bitch, or do you think there was some truth to that? Because sometimes I hear voices telling me to kill people, too, and I would really love to pin that one on God.
  • If those priests were allowed to kick it once in a while with some hot chica maybe they’d leave the little boys alone, am I right? Or do you think that gay pedophiles are naturally drawn to the priesthood?
  • Do you ever wonder if the ‘Burning Bush’ was a euphemism for Moses’ raging gonorrhea?
  • You know why I think there are so many missionaries sent over to Africa? It’s not to spread the gospel – it’s to see them sweet-ass tribal titties.

Oh yeah, some funny shit there.

6 thoughts on “Natalie’s list of things not to say to the televangelist.

  1. Despite being a Catholic myself, I find that list pretty darn funny.  However, Natalie did make one mistake that I noticed.  The Immaculate Conception was not the fact that Mary concieved Jesus without having sex but rather that she was born without sin.  This is a common misconception among all people, even Catholics.  Just wanted to point that out.  Still a hilarious list.

  2. Now I must know…

    the Immaculate Conception was not the fact that Mary concieved Jesus without having sex but rather that she was born without sin. 

    Huh? How is it Mary was born without sin?

  3. I’m not going to attempt to explain it myself so I would suggest going here to find a good explanation of it all.

  4. Brandi,
    Please realize, this is rather a hot topic of debate between Catholics and non-Catholics. NOBODY else believes Mary was without sin. And, relatively speaking, it’s only recently (150 years) that the Catholics have even made the claim.

    The real problem, as I see it, is that the Pope said it, and since he was speaking from infalibility, it cannot now be taken back. It’s a tough (IMHO, impossible)position to defend from the Bible. I’m very surprised anyone had the pluck to bring it up voluntarily.

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