God Hates Shrimp

The site God Hates Shrimp got me to chuckle a little.

Naturally the first thing that will be pointed out is the fact that both cited passages are in the OT and thusly overruled by the NT except for those passages in the OT, such as the Ten Commandments, which aren’t overruled by the NT for reasons that aren’t all that clear.

Anyone else get the feeling that Christians just pick and choose what parts of the OT they want to consider as being overruled by the NT as it fits their needs? Yeah, me too.

42 thoughts on “God Hates Shrimp

  1. I was atheist before reading this post, now I believe there is a god. I am allergic to shrimp, if I eat it, my throat closes up tighter than a snare drum. So, God must exist if it’s in the bible that he hates shrimp.

    Shrimp must be like kryptonite for God, which explains why it can hurt me. I am not under God’s protection when I eat shrimp!! It ALL makes sense now.

    In fact, maybe I’ll even become an alter boy, does anyone know where I can get a pair of leather chaps?

  2. Certainly a lot of Christians do that sort of picking-and-choosing of the stuff that supports what they believe and/or feel.  Actually, I strongly suspect it’s a human trait in general, but the selective quotation and adherence to *some* bits of OT Law while ignoring or dismissing others is a good example.  (For that matter, picking and choosing what bits from Paul to listen to falls into that category as well.)

  3. As always ***Dave, you’re correct that the tendency to pick and choose is not limited to Christians, but is a pretty general trait of being human. I suppose I should change my wording to say that it seems at times that it’s especially commonplace among the true believers, though hardly limited to them.

    All I can say is that I’m glad there are many Christians similar to yourself out there helping to off-set the more fundamentalist-minded believers. Based on my understanding of the Bible you’re of the group that I would call a “true Christian” as opposed to the folks who regularly claim that title for themselves. JethricOne who shows up here from time to time is another.

    OK, I’m done giving out gushy praise for others for the day.

  4. Um, you asked for it…

    I am surprised that you would make a statement like this. You claim to be familiar with the teachings of the Bible, and this is a relatively elementary one. The NT does

  5. That’s a tactic that’s usually employed against me, not by me and not one I’ll be engaging in now. In fact, I will freely admit that you’ve done a most excellent job of outlining the best explanation I was ever given by my former Pastor on how the NT affects the OT. You’re the first to bring it up in a long time.

    This outline, however, doesn’t address the fact that many Christians do appear to pick and choose which aspects of the OT they still consider relevant and then use the NT as an excuse to dismiss questions with regards to other passages that would appear to apply as well. I’m impressed, though, you’ve definitely done your studying.

  6. i actually thought shrimp had scales..those are fins at the end of the tail right???

    speaking of abomination…..i noticed that hate shrimp site speaks of homosexuality as an abomination but if you look at the great scripture in proverbs 6:….

          These six things the LORD hates,
          Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
          17A proud look,
          A lying tongue,
          Hands that shed innocent blood,
          18A heart that devises wicked plans,
          Feet that are swift in running to evil,
          19A false witness who speaks lies,
          And one who sows discord among brethren.

  7. jeff,,,it sounds like to me a perfect description also of a lot of people that think they are holier than others at times.  (unfortunately myself in times past)… i am just pointing out that people sometimes jump on the homosexual abomination thing quickly and forget there are other things too.

  8. Shrimp is an abomination just like Betty Crocker is a battered woman. Does anyone wonder what would’ve happened if Wendell had dressed up as a giant shrimp when he saw “The Passion…”?

  9. Mmmm…that site makes me want to go out and eat lots of shrimp! Pass the melted butter!! Yummm!

  10. wow, its amazing how much energy people put into things like hating shrimp!  Do you really think the ALMIGHTY GOD is going to send you to hell for eating shrimp?  if your answer is yes, then im sorry for you.  Get on with your life and stop living in fear.  Will you fear everything until the day you die?  I garauntee the amount of energy you waste on hating shrimp is hazardous to your health.  this is the most rediculous thing ive ever heard of… baptists.. ha!  And if you notice, the website “godhatesshrimp.com”  does not have a comment page, or any contact information.. you know why?  it would filled with comments like mine!

  11. In other words, it would be filled with comments from clueless dumbfucks who can’t recognize a bit of satire when they see it.

    No wonder they don’t have comments at that site.

  12. I’ve looked at God hates fags, god hates sweeden, god hates canada, etcetera, and I can’t say that these read as any more satire than any of those.  Yet I understand that those that originiated with the God Hates Fags group, actually believe themselves to be right in what they are saying, and are not attempting to be satirical.  I just haven’t figured out how to tell the difference.  Other than to say “hey is this satire’‘?  Well I believe in the goals of God Hates Shrimp, and God Hates Figs.  I’m sure he hates a lot of other things that we simply forget about in the whole God Hates Fags debate.

    Jessica

  13. No wonder these christians are so irate, they cant eat anything that hasn’t been blessed with the local cardinal’s sperm.

    To conclude this, I purpose a comedy/reality show:
    Survive the christian Adkins diet!

    If this show airs, I’ll be sitting on my lead ass eating shrimp, mussels, seaweed, clams, and dozens of other things, reveling in the suicidal and homicidial tendancies reflected in the path of the cross aired all over the world.

    p.s.: if everything God made was good, why did me make shrimp if they’re an abomination?

  14. I just went back and re-read “God Hates Fags” after an absense of a couple of months. Damned if the first thing that came to mind wasn’t “What the Fuck?”

  15. Serious Comment

    David- read your explanation. Still don’t see how that allows Christians to eat pork.  He may have changed the emphasis on laws, but I can not find anything that says ignore, for instance, Leviticus.  Les I know you know your Bible, can you enlighten me?

  16. Les as a Christian who eats what I believe is the healthy diet that God expects of us and am 49 yrs old and has never been sick in his life, I guess that says something. I eat meat daily with fruits and vegetables, and wow I eat shrimp about once every other week. Well now to the reason I wrote; true and knowledgeable Christians do not pick and choose what to change or accept from the OT Jesus said he came to fulfill the Law not do away with the Law we as Christians along with the Jewish community are to obey the old Testament Laws just as they were then as now, But now with Christ Jesus we have a Savior to fall back on when we fail.
    Shrimp and Lobster are not evil in themselves, they are vary high in the bad Cholesterol so you can eat them but eat them with restraint for your health reasons that is why God banned them in the OT days because the Hebrew people had no way to heal the Health problems caused by eating a high cholesterol diet.
    Once again I eat them and meat and have never been sick I also am told by my Doctor I have the insides and physique of a 20 yr old man amazing ( no just a good diet and healthy living according to mostly biblical teachings, not relying on the Mad ravings of some fanatical ” so called Christian Churches ) that break every Law that Jesus preached and taught. IE: Judgmentalim, personal condemnation of others, failing to obey basic ten commandment laws such as loving one another, I always tell those that have a need to preach to the public
    that one: They turn more people away from Christ than anything else ( which for that they will have a big surprise ahead of them come Judgment day)
    and two: Before you preach to me you better be perfect and since that is an impossibility then they need to get off the street and remove the boulder out of their ASS before they start preaching morality and doctrine.
    Well I have rambled enough I have to ride to the Gym and work my back today, God Bless and have a great day.
    Charlie
    P.S. THIS SITE IS JUST TOO MUCH DUDE,I LOVE IT!
    satire in its perfect form!

  17. Moses Your A Hoot
    that was my first thought when I found the site.
    WHAT THE ****! LMAO
    Charlie

  18. P.S. THIS SITE IS JUST TOO MUCH DUDE,I LOVE IT!
    satire in its perfect form!

    Uh, huh. You do realize that we’re a bunch of atheists, right? That’s not satire.

  19. Les as a Christian who eats what I believe is the healthy diet that God expects of us and am 49 yrs old and has never been sick in his life, I guess that says something. I eat meat daily with fruits and vegetables, and wow I eat shrimp about once every other week. Well now to the reason I wrote; true and knowledgeable Christians do not pick and choose what to change or accept from the OT Jesus said he came to fulfill the Law not do away with the Law we as Christians along with the Jewish community are to obey the old Testament Laws just as they were then as now, But now with Christ Jesus we have a Savior to fall back on when we fail.
    Shrimp and Lobster are not evil in themselves, they are vary high in the bad Cholesterol so you can eat them but eat them with restraint for your health reasons that is why God banned them in the OT days because the Hebrew people had no way to heal the Health problems caused by eating a high cholesterol diet.
    Once again I eat them and meat and have never been sick I also am told by my Doctor I have the insides and physique of a 20 yr old man amazing ( no just a good diet and healthy living according to mostly biblical teachings, not relying on the Mad ravings of some fanatical “ so called Christian Churches ) that break every Law that Jesus preached and taught. IE: Judgmentalim, personal condemnation of others, failing to obey basic ten commandment laws such as loving one another, I always tell those that have a need to preach to the public
    that one: They turn more people away from Christ than anything else ( which for that they will have a big surprise ahead of them come Judgment day)
    and two: Before you preach to me you better be perfect and since that is an impossibility then they need to get off the street and remove the boulder out of their ASS before they start preaching morality and doctrine.
    Well I have rambled enough I have to ride to the Gym and work my back today, God Bless and have a great day.

    I’m sorry, but Born Again Christians pick and choose what they want out of the bible all the time.  I am a bastard child, and I had the bible quoted at me more times than I can count growing up.  Amazingly, nobody looked at John 8, John 3:16, Romans 10:13, etc. when they were telling me how I was going to hell because my mother was a harlot (truth hurts).  The nastiest, rudest and most judgmental people I have known were born again Christians…the only ones who were worse were born again Mormons.

  20. By the way, Charlie, fundamentalism has done more to divide this country than any other.

    You may be a true believer, but those who claim to be, like Bush, most certainly are not.

  21. Charlie: so you can eat them but eat them with restraint for your health reasons that is why God banned them in the OT days
    Ah. It’s so good to have interpreters around to tell us what he really meant. 
    to obey basic ten commandment laws such as loving one another
    ‘loving one another’ doesn’t appear in The Decalogue, mate.
    The word ‘love’ doesn’t appear either.
    Don’t you think it’s weird that love, the foundation of society, is not mentioned in god’s laws?

    And, what KPG said.

  22. Shrimp and Lobster are not evil in themselves, they are vary high in the bad Cholesterol so you can eat them but eat them with restraint for your health reasons that is why God banned them in the OT days because the Hebrew people had no way to heal the Health problems caused by eating a high cholesterol diet.

    Then God followed some very outdated thinking (hey, it was three thousand years ago). It doesn’t matter how much cholesterol there is in your food, what matters is how much your body absorbs. Shrimp does contain high levels of cholesterol, but is low-fat with a rich content of unsaturated fatty acids which reduce cholesterol absorption. If anything, eating shrimp will lower your blood cholesterol.

  23. If anything, eating shrimp will lower your blood cholesterol.
    Besides that I think the cholesterol problem is much worse now than it was in the times of the OT. Wait a minute, maybe that’s the reason christians are allowed to eat shrimp now: we consume so much bad cholesterol that we need some good cholesterol to counter it.
    Well now to the reason I wrote; true and knowledgeable Christians do not pick and choose what to change or accept from the OT Jesus said he came to fulfill the Law not do away with the Law we as Christians along with the Jewish community are to obey the old Testament Laws just as they were then as now, But now with Christ Jesus we have a Savior to fall back on when we fail.
    As far as my understanding of christian mythology goes, a big part of being forgiven is the intent of not repeating the sin as well as repentence for the sin. You cant fall back on “Christ Jesus your Saviour” as long as you fully intend to keep ignoring parts of the OT.

  24. I’m sorry, but Born Again Christians pick and choose what they want out of the bible all the time.  I am a bastard child, and I had the bible quoted at me more times than I can count growing up.  Amazingly, nobody looked at John 8, John 3:16, Romans 10:13, etc. when they were

    And who’s to say the bible’s the final arbiter of truth?

    The bible is hearsay far as modern semantics is concerned. This book is a third hand report of a third hand report created dozens to hundreds of years after said events.

    In any court of law, this is INADMISSIBLE

  25. All one has to do is look at the biblical references to women. Jesus never treated women as second class; it was Paul who said they were to remain silent, not have authority over men, not teach men, and so on and so forth.  Paul, or the Roman interpretation of him, totally contradicts the teachings of Jesus, yet it is the Paulian theory that is taken as biblical law. 

    Besides, who said Eve was deceived?  I mean besides the men who wrote the Bible?  If you look at Hebrew mythology, Eve wasn’t the first woman…Lilith was.  However, Lilith wanted equality in all facets of life, including sex.  According to the legend, Adam didn’t want an equal; he wanted a submissive partner, so he begged God for a woman who would submit to his will as the authoritative figure.  God granted his wish, and gave him Eve.  Lilith became the bride of the devil and the first vampire, sucking the life out of the firstborn of non-believers.

  26. I was concerned because the Lev. passage was so strong, and I know the OT to be the part of the Bible that is the law.

    A lot of you are actively quoting OT and living by OT rules. I have read a lot of Christians arguing that OT is the rulemaking part of bible and therefore shellfish are a no, no.

    I am also copying and pasting for you to read. I totally agree with the following. Lets not forget it holds true. Old testament in just history now. Read and enjoy!

    http://en.allexperts.com/q/Assembly-God-2292/Old-v-New-testament.htm

    Beacuse I was worried, I did some reading on the internet and found this posted :

    Let’s try this from New Testament principles. The work of Jesus is a finished work, there is nothing we can do to improve on it.

    Therefore as Paul says, the work of Jesus abolished the written code and the reproach of the Law for those who believe in Jesus and place their faith in Him “There is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus for those who believe”.

    What has happened is that the covenant in Jesus blood has replaced the Abrahamic covenant with a Covenant of grace, where the old covenant was a covenant of Law. The Abrahamic Covenant and the Law did not guarantee salvation, only a covering of sin.

    The reality is that the Old Law doesn’t apply now to the believer, however because we are God’s Children we would wish to please him by not transgressing against His wishes for the way we should live, and so we look to the Old Testament as a pattern revealing God’s thoughts on the issues of life.

    Paul has told us that if you seek to be justified by the Law you must keep all of it and we know that no man excepting for Jesus succeeded in keeping the whole of the Law. Because He has done it, we no longer need to strive to do it.

    What’s important here is forming a personal relationship with God and so allowing Him to speak personally into our lives and to guide us. If you are led by the Spirit you will not sin, and if you make a mistake you will quickly repent and seek foregiveness.

    “Those who join themeselves to God are one with Him in Spirit”, for the New Testament believer it is coming to this oneness with God which is important. Seek the gifts and the Spirit.

    Hope that made it clearer for you, it was bucket of cold water for me, leaving me thinking, OH YEAH? I forgot! Makes me want to read my bible more….

  27. And that contradicts what Jesus is reported as saying- he does not come to change one jot or tittle of the law, and the law of God will outlast heaven and Earth.

    On the otherhand- are there any of the ten commandments Jesus didn’t cover?  Can I now commit adultery or boil a baby goat in the milk of its mother, because JC didn’t say not to?

    (to the regulars- I feel this is the correct tone of response, so we can find out what our Bibles tell us to do)

  28. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Boy, just like Abraham and Isaac. WHAT A LOVING GOD! Yeah, I sure want to have a loving God like that! 

  29. Lucy- Last Hussar said it.  Many Christians do believe that the New Testament completely “overrules” the Old, but many do not, and it’s possible to make a good case for both views, and for just about anything in between (say, accepting the Ten Commandments, but not Leviticus).

    This is of course indicative of a more general problem with the Bible: how literally should one take it?  Are the first seven days of the Creation twenty-four hour days?  If so, the Earth can only be a few thousand years old.  Was the Earth really created before the Sun and the stars?  Are bats really birds?  Is pi equal to three?  For the life of me, I can’t see how one can decide what’s “true” and what’s “metaphorical” or “inapplicable”, other than by wilfull cherry-picking.

  30. For the life of me, I can’t see how one can decide what’s “true” and what’s “metaphorical” or “inapplicable”, other than by wilfull cherry-picking.

    Now, now. Don’t you see that it’s not cherry-picking, but the receipt of a divinely customized message?

  31. I guess you’re right, elwed.  I just wish that all these recipients of customized messages would privately rejoice that God said something different to them than to everyone else, but that they would keep the “good news” out of our faces, genitals, and schools.

  32. Department of life imitates art:

    While we’re on the subject of God and Poe’s Law, check out this energy-drink spoof Powerthirst and its sequel.
    Then for the real product inspired by the spoof: brawndo and its own sequel. 

    Thanks to my son Adam, who is much more au courant than I, for these links.  They somehow reminded me of the thin line between silliness and spoof exemplified by creationists.  Warning: very silly.  You might want to empty your mouth before viewing.

  33. 1.1) And God said unto Moses
    2) Fucking spammers
    3) How desperate are you
    4) To get past the Sinai captcha?
    5) Your not the Nigerian Finance Minister are you?
    6) Because I’ve asked him to move some money out of the country
    7) Via a third Party account

    2.1) And Moses said unto the Lord
    2) Actually do you have any Laws I could use?
    3) and the Lord said
    4) Don’t Seeth a kid in its mothers milk

    3.1) And Moses said unto the Lord
    2) Eh?
    3) And God said
    4) Don’t kill, don’t steal,
    5) Be nice to each other
    6) And don’t put your willy into already married people.

    4.1) And Moses coughed politely
    2) And said unto the Lord
    3) I was hoping for something a bit more, well, formal.
    4) And God said
    5) Get your people to talk to my people to thrash out the fine detail
    6) We will call it the Decalogue

    5.1) And Moses said do what?
    2) And so God said
    3) Bugger
    4) Let there be Greek
    5) And so it made much more sense after that.

    6.1) And So Moses came down from the Mountain
    2) And said unto Aaron
    3) No putting your Willy in your Neighbours Ass
    4) But Aaron was American
    5) And thought Moses meant Ass
    6) And so said “No Poofters!”
    7) And the Jews said with one voice
    8) We know this one
    9) Are you going to end it with the Philosophers Song,
    10) And then do the Dead Parrot Sketch?

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