The goddess of irony smiles upon me.

So I wake up this morning feeling a little under the weather and not really up to heading into work. I stumble out to the living room and turn on the news to see if the kid has school as we were supposed to have freezing rain for most of the night and then four to six inches of snow on top of that just to make life fun. According to the news we did get some freezing rain but as of 6:30AM it was only just starting to fall in our area so the side roads were a mess, but the main roads and freeways were mostly just slushy as it was still warm enough for the salt to work. Just the same, the Plymouth/Canton school district decided they had plenty of snow days in reserve and canceled school for the day so I got to tell Courtney to go back to bed.

Meanwhile I sit out here trying to decide if I feel well enough to try and brave the streets into work and by the time 7AM rolls around I’ve had enough stomach lurches to decide that I don’t really feel like making the drive in and the weather’s just going to get worse as the day goes on so I may as well just call it a sick day and not push my luck. So I dash off an email to the two people who would be most concerned with my not showing up telling them I won’t be showing up and why and that I’ll have my beeper handy in case there is some sort of emergency that would require my total lack of knowledge and skill as a planner to resolve. (Have I mentioned how much I hate my current job? I have? OK, I won’t go into it here again then.)

Now the thing you have to know for this to make any sense is the simple fact that my beeper is probably the most under-utilized beeper in the company for anything remotely work related. I will literally go months at a time between getting any two pages that have any business purpose to them. Which isn’t to say that it doesn’t go off daily, it does, but that’s because my wife likes to send me little love notes in the form of text pages to make my day more bearable ever since I started hating my job full-time. She’ll also page me when she needs me to call home to remind me of something I need to do on the way home. In fact it’s probably safe to say that 97% of the pages I received on that beeper are from my wife and most of those are just her letting me know she’s thinking about me. Another 2% are from coworkers who are asking where the hell I am so we can go to lunch and the remaining 1% have anything to do with work.

So, naturally, the day I stay home from work and go back to bed is the day the pager goes off twicefive times. The first time was a page from the Dell planner who works with me to coordinate PC renewals throughout the buildings we’re responsible for. I called her back and got her voice mail and let her know I was home sick so she should call the site managers in my stead. That was around 8AM or so and I went back to bed. Then just a few minutes ago the pager goes off again and this is where the Irony Goddess shows up. The page is from the head of the group that manages updates to the company’s anti-virus software. Seems they’re busy sending out emergency updates to deal with the two big viruses making the rounds in the last day or so and wants all the field testers to report in by noon on how the new dat file is working for them. I used to be a field tester until I was removed from my 2nd Level Tech position and made a planner, but they apparently have never removed my name from the list of Field Testers so I got the page.

You can imagine my bemusement at sitting at home feeling ill from some minor virus staring at a pager asking me to help test an emergency anti-virus update. It figures on the one day when I most would want my pager to be silent is the day that everyone decides to page me with work related stuff.

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