Remembering my age and being stunned by it.

Ever have one of those moments were it feels like the entire universe has just slid four micrometers to the left with an near-audible “sssshhhhhhuuuukkkuunnnkkk” sound and suddenly brought everything into a greater focus? I’m not talking an epiphany where it feels like God or space aliens have personally beamed new information into your thick skull that you never would’ve been able to figure out yourself, but that feeling of suddenly recognizing a situation for what it really is that you were just too preoccupied with other stupid things to notice before.

I’ve been having those feelings a lot lately and they’ve all been about my age.

Currently I’m 36 years old which isn’t really all that old comparatively speaking. I’m just barely young enough to be considered a member of “Generation X,” not that I have any clue what that’s supposed to be, but I’m young enough that I’m definitely not a Baby Boomer or whatever the hell came between them and Generation X. At the age of 36, though, I’m pretty firmly established as an “adult” yet I have a problem feeling it. Deep down I recognize that I’m an adult, but there’s still plenty of times that I feel like I’m just some punk kid who’s pretending to be an adult and hoping no one notices.

Reading other people’s blogs, particularly some of you younger people out there, has been the catalyst for many of my feelings of suddenly recognizing that I’m getting old. Those universal shifts I mentioned earlier. Take Natalie of Pickle Juice infamy. She’s younger than I am (almost 27), but I keep forgetting this because she writes in a way that gives the impression she’s older than that. Until she writes something about how as she was growing up she wanted to be a rapper. I’ve never wanted to be a rapper. In fact, I’m old enough that most rap music sounds like crap to me (I’m pretty sure that’s an age issue). Half the reason I don’t listen to commercial radio anymore is because the majority of songs are either rap or hip-hop of which I have a very low tolerance. Now my daughter, and even my wife to a certain extent, both like most of the popular music out there right now and that’s why I’m sure it’s an age issue.

It’s made me realize I’m old enough that I’ve said “turn that crap down” to my kid and meant it…

And that makes me feel old. I was never cool or popular when I was growing up, but I used to like to believe that I was secretly uber-cool and that everyone else was just too dense to recognize how Earth shatteringly cool I really was. I’m getting to that point where I can’t even pretend to be secretly cool anymore. About the only person I could still feel that way around was my nephew and that’s because I’m the bastard who got him hooked on playing video games and probably one of the few people who could give him much of a challenge in them. These days, however, the kid owns more systems than I do and I’m pretty sure he realizes his Uncle is no-where near as uber-cool as he is. In fact, I’m probably just “odd” now.

But that’s OK. I can handle the idea that I’m getting older. I still have lots of other people older than me who will whine about how young I am, how I’m still just a baby, to help keep me feeling younger. And I’ve got plans for one day becoming the mean old bastard of the neighborhood whose always yelling at the kids to stay the hell off of his lawn.

9 thoughts on “Remembering my age and being stunned by it.

  1. 36 here too, this past November. Perhaps it is the age, because I have had that shhhhhuuuunck feeling too. The good thing is that while some of it is “I’m getting old” the rest of it is “oh, so that’s what life is about” and best of all “oh, I see why I always did that. I think I will stop now (or, keep up the good work)”  As for cool, I figured some of us weren’t cool in the popular crowd way, but among our ilk we are doing just fine and that is alright by me.

    Be sure to get yourself a cane to shake at those young whippersnappers.

  2. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

    52 years young, died in the wool baby-boomer here and yes Les, you are a young-un’, but if I was to pick an age to be at my entire life it would be my mid-30s. I was about your age when as I was conducting price negotiations on the phone with a reagent vendor and I felt that shift. I didn’t recognize the “adult” talking on the phone, it was me! OH MY GOD! I had grown up! I was conducting “BUSINESS”! I still get that feeling now but not as often unfortunately.

  3. I,m 49 now and it was about your age that I ‘settled down’, that is, I quit going to bars with my friends and quit going to concerts, I just couldn’t take the noise any more. After that I just did the go to work and come back home thing. I’m retired now [Ford Mo. Co.], have 4 grandkids and 1 on the way, but I really don’t feel old, actually I try and not think about it! I’m not yet chasing kids out of my yard—but I’m thinking about it!

    Here’s an interesting website

    It has some interesing things on it and is very amusing.

  4. CF, I’ve never been a big concert goer or bar hopper myself so I’m wondering what it is I’ll be giving up once I settle down. In fact my brother’s birthday was the first time I’d been in a bar in a long time. Retired at 49? I should be so lucky!

    Alicia, already got a cane due to a bad back. When it flares up I have to pull it old and hobble around like an old man.

    QM, sounds like you had a real job compared to what I’m doing these days.

    Neil, careful, you’ll get old before your time like that.

  5. Excuse me while I pull the gray hair out of my face and rub the cataracts to one side.  Oh,Oh, I almost forgot my walker so I can move quickly out of the way of the ton of bragging about age that is floating this way. If you have tried to make out in a truck at the age of 55 or looked longingly at a 40 year old wishing you were 30 years younger then my friend you are old.  Until then you are all just babes in arms…

  6. Yeah, 36 here last October…MUST be something about this age, cos I been feeling a bit Grandpa Simpson about some things too!What the hell is wrong with young peoples’s music these days? In my day….*gnash, gnash*
    Plastic hip replacement on stand-by…

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