According to Pat Robertson of 700 Club fame the outcome of the 2004 Presidential elections is already a foregone conclusion: Bush will win. Seems Pat’s been abusing that hot-line to God he has stashed under his desk and has gotten the big guy to confide in him that he’s going to hand the election to The Shrub because he (God) likes him so much.
Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Friday he believes God has told him President Bush will be re-elected in a “blowout” in November.
“I think George Bush is going to win in a walk,” Robertson said on his “700 Club” program on the Virginia Beach-based Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded. “I really believe I’m hearing from the Lord it’s going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It’s shaping up that way.”
Robertson told viewers he spent several days in prayer at the end of 2003.
“The Lord has just blessed him,” Robertson said of Bush. “I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn’t make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he’s a man of prayer and God’s blessing him.”
So I suppose it won’t make any difference if I vote this year seeing as God has already guaranteed the victory to Bush, but what the hell, I think I’ll go vote against him anyway.
You know, when most people claim to be hearing the voice of God talking to them they end up being locked in a padded room. I suppose being a rich schizophrenic makes you immune from that sort of thing…