Pat Robertson gets into the prediction business.

According to Pat Robertson of 700 Club fame the outcome of the 2004 Presidential elections is already a foregone conclusion: Bush will win.  Seems Pat’s been abusing that hot-line to God he has stashed under his desk and has gotten the big guy to confide in him that he’s going to hand the election to The Shrub because he (God) likes him so much.

Capitol Hill Blue: No need for an election: God has called the winner

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Friday he believes God has told him President Bush will be re-elected in a “blowout” in November.

“I think George Bush is going to win in a walk,” Robertson said on his “700 Club” program on the Virginia Beach-based Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded. “I really believe I’m hearing from the Lord it’s going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It’s shaping up that way.”

Robertson told viewers he spent several days in prayer at the end of 2003.

“The Lord has just blessed him,” Robertson said of Bush. “I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn’t make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he’s a man of prayer and God’s blessing him.”

So I suppose it won’t make any difference if I vote this year seeing as God has already guaranteed the victory to Bush, but what the hell, I think I’ll go vote against him anyway.

You know, when most people claim to be hearing the voice of God talking to them they end up being locked in a padded room. I suppose being a rich schizophrenic makes you immune from that sort of thing…

10 thoughts on “Pat Robertson gets into the prediction business.

  1. Won’t God be surprised when Bush is tossed out of office?

    Barring another Supreme Court decision, that is. Or vote tampering via Diebold and the military.

  2. I’m a social moderate, but a fiscal conservative (figure that out).  I’m also an atheist.  There’s really no party for me, but I usually end up voting about 60% republican and 40% democrat, and registering republican.

    But, let me tell you, I’m tired of these religious weenies having such power in the republican party.  “Tell me a story about the tooth fairy next, and how THAT relates to the budget.”

    Aiiigh!

    I need someone to develop a viable 3rd party that’s separate from the eco-freaks and religious zealots.

    Please.

    Anyone?

    D

  3. God will create even stronger paper this election, especially in Florida. More chads, more uncertain votes, more Bush. Good luck America.

  4. No one told me the election weren’t ballot this year… Are they planning an Episcopopoly Tourament??

    I considered it a sign from god that I saw both articles back to back

  5. “I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn’t make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he’s a man of prayer and God’s blessing him.”

    What ever happened to punishing the wicked. Isn’t that “gods” job? I dunno, I don’t believe in the whole thing so maybe someone could enlighten me as to how “god” would support someone who “does bad”?

    To me, that sound more like satans bag, but again, if someone could justify that to me, I would be impressed.

  6. Just to clarify it for you, xade (and trust me, I don’t believe in all that bullshit either), Pat Robertson believes that if someone is pious to God then he will be forgiven for his sins.  Even if those sins include the attack of a sovereign nation in pursuit of “democratic” (and most certainly Christian, I’m assuming) alliances with the Middle East; not to forget OIL.

    Secondly, all this shit REALLY scares me.  If people believe that “God” has already decided this election, they’re probably going to support Bush as a true “man of God”, or even base the whole decision on whether or not the man they’re electing is or not.  Man, I hate this fucking fundamentalist bullshit.

    If people ACTUALLY believe that it’s manifest destiny that Bush is supposed to get into office, I certainly hope they don’t take it to the same level as the American pioneers in the 1800’s.  They’ll probably come up with some kind of disease that kills people with a working brain.

    Or perhaps they’ll just paste an American flag on everything and try to convert the country to a primarily Christian government.  They’re already doing it!  I swear, if Bush wins the next election (which, by then, I will be eligible to vote for), I’m saying “screw it” and moving to fucking Canada.  Hell, it’s more peaceful up there anyway.

  7. American Atheists is the title of a two minute piece by Scott Simon that aired this morning on NPR. I found it refreshingly well considered, and I posted it to this thread because it deals, peripherally, with politics.

    Please note that the link opens an NPR page that is two clicks away from your media player. I had to temporarily disable the popup blocker in my browser get my media player to open. Before you hear the essay itself, you get a 10 sec blurb about a CD. (A transcript of the essay is also available for $.)

    O yeah. In my opinion, Pat R is delusional and/or a hypocrite.

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