Weighty discussions of God while IMing.

J1 and I are friends in real life and we work in the same building so you’d think that after putting up with me for most of the day he would’ve had his fill, but sometimes we’ll end up chatting about the big issues of the universe over instant messaging and we end up with conversations like this one about a new computer case he ordered the other day:

JethricOne: *sigh* Estimated delivery for the case is still Friday 🙁
StupEvilBst: Keep the faith. Sometimes they arrive early.
StupEvilBst: And you’re a good guy and God loves you so I don’t see why it shouldn’t.
JethricOne: True. I’m sure that the benign creator of all things is waiting for my personal request to speed up the Fed Ex ground shipment of my case.
JethricOne: Especially since I was willing to discuss his existence with Mild Bill and Brock.
StupEvilBst: Com’on, considering some of the ridiculous requests he gets and the relative happiness you’d have if he fulfilled it, why the hell WOULDN’T he toss that in as a small Bennie.
JethricOne: True, I didn’t even get a lottery ticket, and that line for prayer fulfillment is probably way-long anyway.
JethricOne: Take the easy requests first.
StupEvilBst: Indeed. It’s a small thing, doesn’t take much divine power and you’d be so damned happy it’s almost ridiculous to think about it.
StupEvilBst: If I were God those would be practically gimmes on a regular basis.

10 thoughts on “Weighty discussions of God while IMing.

  1. You make a really good point, and you may have explained why God always seems to answer my prayers to find lost everyday things, such as car keys.  I’ve always wondered … now I get it.  There was no one else involved.  God just needed to bring my attention to where the car keys were. 

    Thanks.

    Now finding a wife, that’s a different story … but now I think I want the chick with the four breasts.  Don’t think I’ll get help on that one.

  2. Ah..this reminds of a time that someone I work with told the story of trying to find her son’s notebook that he needed for school.  They searched all over and couldn’t find so she tried one more time to find it and this time said a little prayer.  Bingo!  She found it.  Scary thing is that she was serious.  I never knew that God had a thing for 3 ring binders.

  3. Well, John, the scary thing is it works.  I’ve heard that kind of story, and it’s worked for me, lots of times.  I think it’s because it’s fairly easy to do.  All God needs to do is point your attention at the object.  Whereas other stuff involves other people’s wills, and that takes longer and sometimes cannot be done at all.

  4. Alternatively taking a few minutes to collect your thoughts and focus can allow you to subconciously remember where you left it. Next time as a control why not try praying to the tellytubbies and see if you get the same results.

  5. Once again I’m with Serai on this one. I manage to find misplaced things all the time without God’s help merely by pausing for a few moments to clear my mind and reconsider the possibilities of where I might have left it. It doesn’t take divine power, it just takes a little focus.

  6. Quote from IB Bill

    Serai:

    I will not bow down before the Teletubbies!

    Go on you know you want to really. =P

    ( Sorry I am in a silly and irreverant mood tonight, probably due to the amusing coincidence of being likened to Hecate on that test thingie, I think Les will appreciate the humour there knowing a bit more about me than most… )

  7. Okay, it is official.

    I may have the eternal love of God, but he does not care if my case shows up a day early, on Thursday.

    At least, he did not intervene on my behalf with FedEx.

    Or maybe he actually produced the winning lottery ticket for me, and I forgot to pick it up…wouldn’t I just feel like an idiot then? :-p

  8. I’ve heard of numerous instances of this kind of thing.  pray to God, find your car keys.  or, if you’re one of my old Catholic aunts, pray to St. Anthony, patron of lost things.  I used to know an entire group of people who’d say “Satan help me find my car keys,” not because they were Satanists but just because it worked so darn often that it became urban legend.  it was great for freaking out Christians.

    then there was the time a martial artist I know joked that he could use ki to find his friend’s keys.  he knelt on the floor, closed his eyes and rubbed his hands together like Mr. Miyagi, opened his eyes—and was just at the right level to see the keys, which had slid under the bed.

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