Latest snake-oil scam: Philip Stein Teslar watch.

In addition to magnetic bracelets and shoe inserts to aid in healing and electrocution belts for weight loss, consumers looking to waste money on products with dubious medical claims can now blow their earnings on a watch that claims to protect your body from “electronic pollution” in the form of magnetic fields.

Wired News: A Watch Powered by Snake Oil

The Philip Stein Teslar watch contains a chip that works with the battery and coil to create a frequency that neutralizes the electromagnetic fields emanating from devices like cell phones, computers and radios, according to the company.

Research links electromagnetic fields with several health problems like headache, fatigue and memory loss, the company said. Those who wear the quartz watch allegedly sleep better, experience less stress and have improved concentration and more energy, it claims.

“It shields the body from these electromagnetic fields, and then the body can be more effective in taking care of itself and its immune system with those unwanted fields thrown off,” explained Ilonka Harezi, head of research for Teslar Inside, which manufactures the watch. “With us sticking cell phones to our heads, we need that protection,” Harezi said.

But others say the company’s claims are a bunch of bunk.

“There is not a chance in the world that (these types of devices) will do anything but lighten your wallet,” said John Moulder, a professor of radiation oncology at the Medical College of Wisconsin, who said he’s seen a slew of products that claim to do the same thing, including radio-frequency-proof lingerie.

Despite there being absolutely no scientific evidence that magnetic fields have any discernible effect on the body, and that’s something that has been studied extensively, the watches are being sold at such upscale stores as Bloomingdale’s New York and Royal Jewelers in Massachusetts for prices starting at $600 and going up to $2000 for one covered in diamonds. Needless to say, the watches are a hit among various celebrities and athletes and the clueless in general.

That’s it. I’m tired of being the only one who’s not making tons of money off of peoples’ stupidity and gullibility. I’m going to develop my own highly over-priced craptastic product with dubious medical claims that you don’t really need and start selling it to clueless idiots so I can be rich too. Perhaps it’s time I follow through on developing a patented Anti-Alien Anal Probe Ass Shield for people suffering from occasional alien anal probe syndrome. There certainly seems be enough of those people around judging from all the news items I read about it.

Link via Boing Boing.

541 thoughts on “Latest snake-oil scam: Philip Stein Teslar watch.

  1. Your payment will be sent by the same means, and with the same dilution…

    Homeopathic money- what a brilliant idea.  Worth trying to blag our way into a new age fair (sorry fayre) and paying a penny at each stall- “It’s homeopathic, so it’s worth thousands”

  2. I guess it must have been pretty exiting stuff, getting created and all…

    “Is that a fobidden fruit in your pocket, or are you just please to see me?”

  3. So how stupid do I feel after paying £3000 for my Breitling (which has no magical powers) when I could have bought one of these wonderful contraptions for a snip at £400. I’m off down the shops now………………not!!

  4. I would disagree that your Breitling lacks magical powers.  It made you part with £3000 so you could tell time.  There must be something pretty magical about it.

    (It’s powers of style and coolness are at least real.  It doesn’t claim anything beyond that.)

  5. At £3000 that watch had better do more than just tell the time. For that much money it should be able to give a pretty good blow job.

  6. Ah yes, you are so right. The bullshit of Breitling, “buy one of our wonderful timepieces and transform yourself into a pilot!!”
    Ah well, I do like it’s amazing style and good looks…..but what was I thinking. £3000 Duh!

    The words money and burn spring to mind now. Still I did quit smoking over a year ago………..there I go justifying myself again!!

    ..but you are right, it is magic

  7. Hey Les, £3000 is relative. I’ve smoked well over £10,000 worth of cigarettes in my life, drunk shit loads of beer, and bought some cars that have lost me loads. If you dont have money you can’t spend it, but if you do it can easily be wasted!! Like I will be on Friday night…hopefully. heh heh.
    Anyhoo back to the Teslar thingy, I have noticed that in Brighton (UK) there is a shop selling all kinds of EMF stuff. They even sell EMF detectors! I just wonder what I would do if I discovered some EM pollution, jump in my ‘Armani’ lead suit I guess!!

  8. My wife and I just bought a pair of Teslar watches the other day.  She said that she felt something when she put it on, I didn’t.  I just like watches.

    I’ve had a Casio G-Shock for a while now, and loved it.  Solar powered, syncs itself up with the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado every night, has an alarm, waterproof (OK, water resistant to 200m), the screen lights up, it has other standard watch features and the band is plain old rubber.  Don’t remember if it cost me $60 or $160, but it was well worth it, either way.

    On the other hand, I’ve been wanting a fancier watch for a while now.  Something I could wear on occasions where I needed to be dressier.  The expensive watches like Citizens all looked the same to me, and I wasn’t going to blow that kind of cash on a watch that looked just like something I could buy at Walmart for $50 until you got right up next to it to read the logo.  My new Teslar watch looks really cool, keeps time in two time zones (I’m a business traveller, so that’s very helpful), and that’s about it.  But I’m still happy with it.  It fills the need I bought it for, and for a lot less money than other watches would have.  Does it have magical properties to protect me from my cell phone?  I don’t know, and I don’t care.

  9. Can’t argue with that. If you bought it for it’s time telling properties then you got what you paid for. I have no qualms with its ability to tell time.

  10. Les, by looking at your face, I can tell that you are not highly educated. Maybe graduated from a garbage college. I really think that you should try to learn more about it before making such negative comments. Don’t want and don’t need to argue with someone like you. I guess you are just jealous that other people can afford it but you don’t.

  11. Les, by looking at your face, I can tell that you are not highly educated. Maybe graduated from a garbage college. I really think that you should try to learn more about it before making such negative comments. Don’t want and don’t need to argue with someone like you. I guess you are just jealous that other people can afford it but you don’t.

    Thank goodness an educated (MIT Alumni) to debunk all of the bullshit here.  Just to let you know where the situation is at the moment.  I have taken every magnet off of my refrigerator (kids homework be damned) and duct taped them to my testicles and you are here just in time to give me some solid, much needed, legitimate, scientific advise.  I was going to just jerk off like normal (except with the magnets) but seeing as how we have an expert here I must know, what shall I do next?  A magnet up my ass perhaps?  I anxiously await your professional reply (do hurry I am out of Viagra).

    Dork.

    Craig

  12. You think Teslar’s oily?

    Behold the attack of the wishing machines!  Get this: flick a switch, pop a button, blink some lights and voila! In 77 days on the 7th month, your wish comes true! All the Gods and Djinns bow down from the heavens because you bought that $7999 spiffy gadget from 3Wishes R Us!

    And wait, there’s more: if you order now, you get a FREE astral condom! Yesirreee! So the next time a demon fancies your power Stick, you can make
    out in style… and with protection. Comes in two flavors: Karma and Merits.

    So SHOP NOW AND SAVE:

    http://www.higherpowertech.com
        … technology . medicine …
    “This website is about one thing and that is about manifesting your dreams. We now have available fascinating and powerful metaphysical instruments and tools that can help us reach our goals, almost like magick you can become the Shaman master that you always dreamed of. A powerful combination of mind and machine. Use these powerful instruments to create, manifest and to empower your lives, finally the force is with you”

    http://www.quantumbalancing.com
        … electromagnetism . quantum mechanics . technology …
    Now’s your chance to pick up a ZBB6 Silver Pulser, a Life Force 2000, and a Photon Sound Beam! Everything must go”

    http://www.magickmachines.com
        … psionics technology
    “With these magical machines, you tap into latent secret forces that you can unleash to do you bidding- like win lottos and get women flocking! Your imagination is your limit! Now you can literally flick switch for a wish.”

    http://www.ctbusters.com
        … chemtrails . technology …
    “Thanks to Wilhelm Reich and Don Croft, we are blessed to have a device that eliminates toxic chemtrails. Here is a way that YOU can make a positive difference in the air we breathe. Click this paragraph to learn how cloudbusters work and instructions on making them.”

    What’re you waiting for??? Coupons! I got 150% off coupons! Just send me your Social Security, Bank and Credit Card Numbers!

  13. I think the watch do look cool no matter what. A lot of people told me I have a nice watch since I wear it. Still can’t tell if it can improve my health by wearing it but I am happy to have it.

  14. It looks cool, that’s true.

    I love the dual time zones.

    But they’re lying about the chips.

    I still get irritable during gridlock, or when I see my kid leaving the dishes on the table.

    I still get migraines.

    I’m always stressed out.

    The teslar isn’t working. Period.

  15. I allow unregistered comments on here and they’re not registered. The user tag only shows up if you’ve registered an account.

  16. http://www.higherpowertech.com
    … technology . medicine …
    “This website is about one thing and that is about manifesting your dreams. We now have available fascinating and powerful metaphysical instruments and tools that can help us reach our goals, almost like magick you can become the Shaman master that you always dreamed of. A powerful combination of mind and machine. Use these powerful instruments to create, manifest and to empower your lives, finally the force is with you”

    http://www.quantumbalancing.com
    … electromagnetism . quantum mechanics . technology …
    Now’s your chance to pick up a ZBB6 Silver Pulser, a Life Force 2000, and a Photon Sound Beam! Everything must go”

    http://www.magickmachines.com
    … psionics technology
    “With these magical machines, you tap into latent secret forces that you can unleash to do you bidding- like win lottos and get women flocking! Your imagination is your limit! Now you can literally flick switch for a wish.”

    Crappastic! You ripped that exact list from crank.net didncha?

    Bought one from higherpower before I ever visited crank. Im a doofus

  17. Yup he did. it would be nice if he asked permission first.

    Oh well. It’s good coverage for crank.net

    You know what they say about imitation. smile

  18. AntiCrank asks:

    That’s inviting spam isn’t it?

    It’s not as big a problem with ExpressionEngine as it is with other blog packages. You’ll note that as a registered user there’s just a little comment box for you without the usual Name, Email, URL boxes that normally accompany it. One of the other boxes missing from the comment form is the Captcha box which unregistered users have to fill in to post a comment. In addition to the captcha EE makes use of Secure Mode Form Processing, Duplicate Data Denial, and a White/Blacklist module to help keep comment spam to a minimum.

    As a result of all that if I get more than two comment spams in a given week then it’s been a busy week at SEB and I can go weeks without seeing comment spam at all.

    Trackback spam, unfortunately, is a different issue altogether and I ended up turning off trackbacks awhile back. Probably won’t enable them again unless someone comes up with a truly effective means of reducing the spam they generate.

    Incidentally, Crank.net is another site I make a point of stopping by every so often.

  19. Incidentally, Crank.net is another site I make a point of stopping by every so often.

    Lovely site isn’t it? Throw in the expression engine ala SEB and got a killer app that even Bill Gates would visit.

  20. Les, by looking at your face, I can tell that you are not highly educated. Maybe graduated from a garbage college. I really think that you should try to learn more about it before making such negative comments. Don’t want and don’t need to argue with someone like you. I guess you are just jealous that other people can afford it but you don’t.

    Aren’t highly educated people generaly more educated in their barbs?

  21. Aren’t highly educated people generaly more educated in their barbs?

    Uneducated people like to pretend that they’re educated, but the moment they open their mouths- BUSTED!

    If that guy were real MIT, he’d insult Les by saying

    “Dear Sir, I’m disappointed in your countenance. Maybe we can negotiate a happier expression?”

    Behold the attack of the wishing machines!  Get this: flick a switch, pop a button, blink some lights and voila! In 77 days on the 7th month, your wish comes true! All the Gods and Djinns bow down from the heavens because you bought that $7999 spiffy gadget from 3Wishes R Us!

    And wait, there’s more: if you order now, you get a FREE astral condom! Yesirreee! So the next time a demon fancies your power Stick, you can make
    out in style… and with protection. Comes in two flavors: Karma and Merits.

    So SHOP NOW AND SAVE:

    You guys really crack me up!

    But seriously, if magickmachines.com or ctbusters.quack has an 800-DIPSTICK number, I’ll pass it on to the FTC and the Better Business Bureau.

    Problem is, like all scambags, they don’t have a Postal Address, Telephone number or even PO box.

    Just a frikkin anonymous email.

  22. It’s standard Mr. Moderator. If I were a crank or crackpot, I’d never leave my actual contact numbers.It’s like giving the handcuffs to the apprehending officer!

    By the way, to the credit of ctbusters.com, they posted their contact details:

    CTBusters.com, 176 North May Ave Monrovia, CA 91016 United States

    By Email:
    andy@ctbusters.com

    So perhaps ctbusters at least believes in the oil they’re selling.

    It’s the scam magickmachines.com that’s hiding behind smoke and mirrors. Not a single email, phone or postal address on their site. Sounds like they’ll take your money and run! Your only means of contacting them is via the Buy Now From CCnow button or the blind contact form.

    Nasty.

  23. Girls girls girls. From the fuming, you folks most likey got suckered by magickmachines. Do I hear gnashing of teeth? Time to see your dentists!

    Please do yourselves a favor and read this before buying off the web

    Detecting Scams
    Consumers at some time or the other would have fallen prey to a scam operator. The aim of most scams is to take money from an unsuspecting victim for goods or services there is no intention to supply. Scam operators utilize various approaches to carry out their fraudulent schemes: 
    Via mail

    Telephones

    In-person

    The Internet

    Scams are usually disguised in the form of:

    Some pyramids

    Chain letters

    Unknown charitable organizations

    Get rich quick plans

    Wonder cures for each and every ailment

    Some overseas lotteries

    Providing various ways to heal the depressed and broken-hearted.

    Easy Ways To Spot A Scam

    When you are asked to send money before getting all the necessary information about the product or service being advertised.

    When money has to be sent to a post office box number.

    When you are pressured into making a decision to participate quickly or else the “opportunity will be lost”.

    When the printed material states that the scheme is legal.

    When the schemes are described as wielding “big money” with “no risk”

    N.B In many instances, if you enquire after you have sent money, especially overseas, it’s too late to obtain a refund.

    What Can be Done to Avoid Scams?

    Do not make an immediate decision if approached by an unfamiliar charity- get written information and do a background check first.

    Check to ensure that your money is really going to help people in need.

    Try not to give large amounts of cash- most charities will accept cheques.

    Consult relatives, friends and co-workers for their opinions- do not respond to these ads in isolation as there is little way of knowing if they are legitimate

    Avoid misleading advertisements

    http://www.consumer.gov.tt/news/detectingscams.htm

  24. ood news! I hear the ScalarWidgetHarmonizer company will start implementing a 1-800-SPANK-ME number and PO Box in Congo so all their scammed victims can send in postcards.

    Start writing gentlemen!

  25. Just came from another blog, the people at shamelessreviews.com are grinding a big axe on Teslar. They quoted this thread.

    No one loves Teslar. 🙁

  26. Check this out. Yet another hokey-dokey product

    http://www.lifewave.com

    And they’re claim:

    Increase energy the safe, clinically-tested, natural way

    LifeWave offers a completely new approach to improved performance.  Our revolutionary technology is changing the lives of athletes and active people everywhere.  Our Energy Enhancer patches are constructed from organic materials and that when placing the patches on the body produce both a heating and cooling effect.  Clinical studies have shown that this effect increases energy and the burning of fat.

    The secret to staying ahead of the game
    Clinical Results:  Increase in fat burning of over 20% in the first use in double blind placebo controlled studies.
    World-class athletes and coaches have discovered that LifeWave Energy Enhancer Patches are the secret to keeping up with the challenges of their day-to-day lives. Men and women from all walks of life have also discovered that LifeWave Energy Enhancer Patches are the secret to keeping up the challenges of their day-to-day lives.

    Clinical results:  Increase in energy and
    strength endurance within minutes of use.

    Double blind placebo controlled research studies have shown both the safety and effectiveness of LifeWave products.  LifeWave patches are constructed from organic materials and have been shown to increase energy and stamina through an elevation in fat burning.  These patches may be applied every other day for up to 12 hours at a time.

    They just keep crawling out the woodwork!

  27. shamelessreviews grinding a big axe on Teslar.

    They teared away at Q-Ray as well. Anothe pet peeve of mine.

    I can’t imagine how they’re still surviving, but the FTC is breathing down their necks.

  28. I have ms and have worn the Teslar for a year with no significant falls or problems. Now the battery is dead( and sent to be replaced) I have fallen twice and feel like crap. Maybe it is mind over matter, but it works for me and the watch looks terrific.

  29. An ass can always spot one of his own. Shut up about being an emmissary- I just said it works for me.

  30. Googled and got here.
    A relative of mine got this teslar bracelet thingy (ie. the chips without the watch), also from Philip Stein.

    I’ll observe him for a couple of months to see what happens.

    BTW, what’s with the “r” in Teslar when they name it after Nikola Tesla?

    I wonder if the chips can protect someone in a Tesla coil accident.

  31. Yes, it’s based on Nikola tesla’s reputation. But not on Tesla’s technology.

    It’s that method of gaining credibility by associating with a good name. False logic.

    Did you know it was Tesla, not edison who discovered alternating current? Fact is, Tesla discovered more science theory that’s applicable from microprocessors to photonic phenomenon than his contemporaries did.

    Les, I’m having trouble connecting with my paid proxy servers from HongKong, Singapore, Philippines and Malaysia. Keep getting booted.

    Is Asia blacklisted? I usually need to direct connect from US

  32. It’s possible SA, drop me an email with the IP addresses and I’ll double check. When the site starts getting hammered from certain locations I end up banning whole IP ranges.

  33. I’m such an IDIOT! Here I am paying nonymizer a hefty fee for their poor connection, when there’s a free browser that automatically encrypts and anonymizes my trails.

    Heard of the Torpark Browser? (torpark.nfshost.com)

    I’m using it now and it’s easy to post.

    Will ditch my paid service.

  34. i have scanned through the thread looking for some scientific thought about teslar watches other than i have followed the studies or i understand the theories.

    the only postings that gave me anything to think about were ragmans:

    The Teslar watch could “work” by destructive interference.  This requires the generation of an EMF of the SAME freq as the harmful EMF, but with 180 deg phase shift where the two waves meet.  It would cancel the waves out at the point of intersection, but does not destroy the particle energy…

    and the someone’s suggestion for an unbiased double blind test.

    otherwise, i feel i am just looking at a bunch of unsubstantiated opinions and insults.

  35. You’re right, Tawny. You’ll also note that I’ve asked repeatedly for any of the supporters to provide any evidence they have for their claims and they’ve yet to provide a single smidgen.

    The watch makers are the ones making the ridiculous claims so the burden of proof is on them, but search their site and you’ll find nothing supportive.

  36. Yes, Tawny, destructive interference can cancel out waveform transmissions; the Bose headphones do something quite similar with sound.  Bose headphones can cancel sound that would enter the auditory canal because they cover the entrance to it.  The orientation of the original signal and its cancelling interference is the same.

    But EMF comes at us from all directions; the watch would have to have a sphere of emitters around the body.  Each of those emitters would have to be capable of transmitting in the same orientation as the source, over a huge range of frequencies.  As designers of transmitting antennas could tell you, this is not a simple thing.

    Furthermore, the watch is in a metal case with little openings in the back.  It could easily increase the amplitude of any EMF to which it might accidentally be harmonized. 

    I could much more easily believe in the well-documented and proven “placebo effect” that has been a feature of every quack nostrum since snake-oil.

  37. This thread kept popping up at the scam forum that I consult before buying anything. Nice work. you guys really know how to expose hoaxters and con men!

    One thing I noticed in common with shams like magickmachines.com , teslar.com, qray.com and other snakeoil cranks is they like to sell their stuff as anti-EMF talismans.

    Is there any scientific evidence that such technology really works? Can we shield the radiation of a phone with a dinky Qlink pendant or a scammy magickmachines chiomax??

  38. As far as I’m aware of there’s no evidence any of these craptastic products does anything at all. Of course it doesn’t help that there’s little evidence that EMF radiation is particularly harmful.

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