Metallica sues Canadian band over their use of the E and F chords.

Apparently out to prove that they really are as stupid as many people, including your’s truly, tend to think they are, the washed up heavy metal band called Metallica are suing a Canadian band called Unfaith over their use of the E and F chords:

MTV.com – News – Metallica Sue Canadian Band over E, F Chords

MONTREAL—Metallica are taking legal action against independant Canadian rock band Unfaith over what they feel is unsanctioned usage of two chords the band has been using since 1982 : E and F.

“People are going to get on our case again for this, but try to see it from our point of view just once,” stated Metallica’s Lars Ulrich. “We’re not saying we own those two chords, individually – that would be ridiculous. We’re just saying that in that specific order, people have grown to associate E, F with our music.

Metallica filed a trademark infringement suit against the indie group at the US district court for central California on Monday. According to the drummer, the continued use of the two chords causes “confusion, deception and mistake in the minds of the public”.

Ulrich states that he’s not trying to prevent Unfaith from using the two chords, only that he feels Metallica should be credited for them whenever used, and is calling for 50% of all revenue generated from any song using them.

“It’s nothing personal against them,” he added. “We intend to enforce our rights with any band intending to use Metallica-branded chords in the future.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me. Please, someone tell me this is a seriously overdue April Fool’s prank. These idiots should be laughed right out of the court room.

UPDATE: This is definitely a very well done hoax and I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know that. I would’ve realized it sooner had I actually paid attention to the URL and read EVERYTHING on the page cause down at the very bottom there’s this little itty-bitty bit of text that reads ” and ɩ ScoopThis.com “Because if it’s on the net, it’s got to be true” (ie, this is a parody.)”

Coolness. I feel much better now knowing it’s not real.

18 thoughts on “Metallica sues Canadian band over their use of the E and F chords.

  1. If Unfaith detune their guitars will that stop them infringing? Obvious comment I suppose…

    Are Metallica by any chance related to the RIAA? They seem to share stupid genes at least.

  2. It looks like it is.  Read the comments in the fark.com story to see that it was posted there by someone involved in the band.  Not sure if that’s the origin or not, but it sure spread like wildfire didn’t it?

  3. First destroying Napster, now this? Who gives a shit about Metallica anymore, anyway? Fuck them for destroying Napster—this just proves they don’t care about the music, just the money.

  4. HA! i really think it is a fake article, but funny as hell. and whoever did it mimicked the MTV site perfectly. but if you notice, the URL, that isn’t from mtv.com, heh. all the links, however, to link back to mtv’s site. also i perused the mtv site looking for the story and couldn’t find it. *chuckle* that is just too funny. if you really think about the article, the writer is totally slamming metallica for their less than varied music style adn their litigiousness. fucking classic!

    btw, i linked you on my blog…s’okay?

  5. It’s definitely a hoax. I’ve even updated my entry to indicate that fact.

    And feel free to link to SEB from your own site. I’m flattered you think we’re worth linking to. grin

  6. Heh!
    “Cock-Ups, not just for the Bush Administration Anymore”

    That is going to be the new tagline of my blog

    Les, thanks for the info on the hoax …. I also should have read Brian Flemming’s blog closer…gak … oh well, if Bush can F’ up daily, we can be conned once smile

    -John

  7. Oh my fucking gawd! I’m glad this turned out to be a hoax. Otherwise I’d have said this was the height of greediness and stupidity.

  8. Awww, shame. And I thought I was a hotshot on spotting hoaxes. I guess I really WANTED this to be true!

    Metallica are still dickhats, and they would really have done it if the hoaxer hadn’t thought of it first. So there!

  9. I agree, but satire and reality are getting a little bit hard to tell apart these days and regular news sites are starting to read like the Onion.

  10. Metallica has worked their asses off to make their name and now there just trying to keep it that way without bands trying to steal their style. Metallica does and always will rule the world in Heavy Metal. Fuck all you fucking ass fucks saying they’re sell out.

  11. Awww. Poor fanboy had his favorite band dissed. All Heavy Metal music sucks anyway so I suppose that makes Metallica the rulers of the world of suckiness.

  12. Yah Metallica’s the rulers of the world of suckiness because they’ve sold millions and millions and millions of records. Look i don’t care if you don’t like heavy metal but they still are one of the greatest well known bands all over the world. So you gotta give them that.

  13. Right… Metallica did about 2 good albums (the ones with Cliff… that’s a no brainer).

    After that they just sold out.

    We got a word for that: Prostitution.

    I remember when they said: we’ll never do video clips. Then they released the “One” video.

    From that day on, they became whores.

  14. Um ya Metallica sucks balls they are the biggest peices of fucking shit in the world…i would rather lick my dogs balls then listen to there music…Ozzy all the way…….. O sorry for posting on a 2 year old thing

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