Idiots buy $74 million in fake pills before company is busted.

If you’ve been coming to SEB for very long you’ve heard me bitch on several occasions that the average American is an idiot. People in general are stupid by choice, not by design. Using the brain that takes up space in their heads means accepting responsibility for themselves which can be painful and seriously unprofitable whereas willful stupidity at least carries the chance that you can always sue someone else for not assuming you’re the big fucking idiot you believe you really are.

Case in point: The thousands of people who spent $74 million on fake ‘body enhancing’ pills that promised to make their dicks bigger or their tits larger via a secretive “all natural” herbal concoction. All these pills really did was make the chump’s wallets thinner.

June 5—Giving Americans a first glimpse of an industry flourishing at the intersection of larceny and libido, authorities in Arizona are seizing the assets of a Scottsdale company that sold more than $74 million worth of pills that it claimed would enlarge penises or breasts, make the consumer taller or hairier—even sharpen his or her golf game. But despite such audacious claims, the company—C.P. Direct—would likely still be gouging the gullible if its founders hadn’t decided to also illegally charge consumers’ credit cards, industry insiders say.

Take note of the fact that the whole $74 million was earned by one single company by selling these fake pills. There are dozens of companies out there promoting similar fake products.

Court documents filed in the case show that the company’s big money-earner was the Longitude penis-enlargement pill, which it described in advertisements as “a breakthrough product that will make your penis grow until you are satisfied with your new size.” The ad recommended that users should discontinue the pills after reaching nine inches in length to avoid discomforting sexual partners.

Oh boy! How can you resist a pitch like that! Better stop before you get to be TOO big!

According to the article the penis enlargement pill alone account for close to 90 percent of C.P. Direct’s sales indicating that there are a lot of stupid men who feel inadequate in the plumping department out there. When the differing products were analyzed to see what they consisted of it turns out that they were all the same thing with different packaging.

This is part of why I rant about people who buy into whatever the latest pseudo-science mumbo-jumbo concept to come down the pipe happens to be. When you’re dumb enough to believe so-called “psychics” can talk to dead people you end up being dumb enough to think a pill is going to make your dick bigger. Honestly, I wouldn’t be so bothered by all you idiots out there who keep throwing your money away on obvious frauds and con-artists if you didn’t end up being such crybabies about it once you’ve figured out you’d been swindled. Wise up, use that grey matter, try being a little more skeptical of things that are patently too good to be true.

And get some fucking counseling on that inadequacy hangup you’ve got.

11 thoughts on “Idiots buy $74 million in fake pills before company is busted.

  1. I think it goes even deeper than one being dumb, stupid or gullible; I believe the overt pressure of societal expectations plays into it, i.e.:  you’re not a “real” man if you don’t have a big penis; you’re not a “real” woman if you’re not a size 4 with big boobs.  These poor shmucks buy into the media-saturated stereotype of what is desirable and what one must possess in order to fit the bill.  I really do think it’s desperation at an extreme level.

    Not everyone is as well-balanced, well-adjusted and self-confident as you, Les. *wink*

  2. Damn pills. Actually SHRANK my penis by six inches! Used to be hung like a horse now it’s more like a housefly… At least that’s how I will be explaining it to the ladies wink

    Believe me, if there was ever a pill that could make my ass smaller, my teeth whiter, my body firmer, and my dick bigger I would probably drop dead from the sudden powerful rush of blinding joy I would feel that I would never get the chance to experience the change.

  3. Oh hell, Leigh. You are far too kind. I know I have my own unique blend of hangups and faults and I don’t lay any claim to being perfect, but damned if some of these people couldn’t use a little sense knocked into their thick skulls. grin

    And I do agree with you that part of this is pressure from society, or at least that segment of society that has a vested interest in pushing these ridiculous expectations. From where I’m standing, though, that’s just one more damned good reason for people to stop and use their brains more often than they currently do.

  4. Oh, so modest, Mr. Pooty Bear…  Yes, my SexyMonster is “all that…” 

    To me anyway, and I’m the only opinion holder that counts anymore (lol).  Right SexyMonster!

  5. Well, maybe if we kick their skulls hard enough, it’ll make their brains work better. wink  I do agree with you on those points (will wonders never cease! lol)

    Na, I’m not too kind.  I can actually be a big bitch (Les, get off the floor). wink  I’ve just had times in my life where I was pretty damned desperate and probably would’ve listened to anyone who told me they could make it stop.  So … that part of me feels sorry for those people, and makes me want to really hurt the people who exploit them!

  6. This issue is not a new thing, haven’t we always had “Snake Oil” sales men.  Of course their concoctions contained a fair amount of booze in them, so the buyer would atleast get a buzz from the stuff.

  7. Dave’s right, we’ve had snake-oil salesmen almost for as long as we’ve had practical medicines. These days with the prevalence of the Internet it’s all too easy for these conmen to get their message out to literally millions of potential marks at little cost to themselves. The lure of easy money attracts yet more conmen to the game and you end up with a situation like we have now where the Federal Government can’t possibly hope to keep up with them all.

    Which brings me back to my original point about how people need to develop their critical thinking skills and a healthy sense of skepticism.

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