New twist on Nigerian scam.

Now this is different. Instead of claiming to be a representative of some rich Nigerian who needs my assistance to get money out of the country of which I’ll get some ridiculous sum the following email attempts to play the religion card in seeking my cold, hard cash:

Hello my dear,

This message might suprise you because don’t know me.Actually i’m kris from nigeria,i’m 20 years old.i’m a christain but a new convert.i was an occult.but i thank God that i’m now a new person in christ.

Actually,I was initiated into occult when i was 16 years old,my uncle initiated me into the occult.My Dad died when i was 5 years old,since the death of my Dad,i’ve been under the care of my uncle,he have been treating me bad since the day my Dad left this world.the bad treatment my uncle having giving me have been making me to ask God why did you leave me in this world without a father.

My uncle called me one night when i was 16,he told me that he want to initiate me so that i will become their member.i refused,he said he will abandone me if i don’t agree with him.i was shocked by his statement because i don’t have any other person in this world,my uncle is the only one taking care of me since the death of my Dad.i don’t have any other option, i agreed on what he said so that he won’t abandon me.i was initiated two day after and since that day i’ve doing alot of evil act which my uncle and their members have been sending me.

God arrested me three months ago.i’m no longer in my uncle’s house because he want me dead and also their members want me dead because i have given me life to christ.my uncle and the members want to kill me so that i will not expose their secret.I’m now homeless,i’ve been squating from one place to another.i’ve been doing all sort of jobs so that i can get something to eat,at least two square meal a day.please my dear i need your help.i want to get out of this country but i cant make it financially.i’m begging you with the name of God to help me to get out of this country so that they will not succeed in geting me.i know that what i’m asking you to do for me is too much.but try,my life is at stake.And also i want to be somewhere that i will be free and worship with the people of God.My joy is that i’ve acce! pted christ and also asked God for forgivness.so if the get me and kill me God will accept my gentle soul in peace.

May God bless you as you come to my rescue.

Kris.

OK, let me get this straight. “Kris” here once “was an occult”, whatever that’s supposed to mean, now he or she has found Christ and his/her Uncle wants to kill him or her to protect their secret (apparently such a secret that Kris doesn’t know what it is). Kris has been squatting from one place to another and is currently homeless, but has somehow gotten a hold of a computer and my email address and sent me this desperate plea for help.

Right.

I suppose God really does work in mysterious ways though you’d think, what with him being omnipresent and all, that he’d know I’m probably the wrong person for a Christian to come begging money from. From where I stand “Kris” has merely gone out of the frying pan and into the fire. I can’t even begin to imagine there is a shred of truth to this story, but even if I did I would be more likely to direct “Kris” to organizations in his/her area that would be better equipped to handle the situation as opposed to just shipping off a bunch of money to someone I’ve never heard of before. I wonder how many “good” Christians do fall for this scam, though. They’re already conditioned by their churches to believe that crap like this happens and they’re just ignorant enough about what the definition of “occult” is to know it’s supposed to be something bad, but not what it is exactly. They’ll have a natural inclination to help out someone else who’s a new convert to their faith as well. Ripe pickin’s for an appeal such as this one. I have some sympathy for anyone stupid enough to fall for this scam out of the goodness of their hearts, but theres also a side of me that thinks they’re getting what they deserve for being so gullible in the first place.

3 thoughts on “New twist on Nigerian scam.

  1. How the hell does God arrest someone? I had to read that line three times before I realized I wasn’t mistaken in what I was seeing.

  2. You said exactly what I was thinking while reading that… “If you are homeless, how come you are able to send email? How does THAT work? People PC to the rescue or something?” 

    I’d mention that I have the same problem with the folks who set up sites asking to be bailed out of their financial problems, but I don’t want another resurgence of interest in THAT topic.  *grin*

  3. That’s a good question Scott. I’d imagine it’d go something like this:

    FREEZE YOU HEATHEN PUNK! DROP YOUR FALSE BELIEF SYSTEM AND BACK SLOWLY AWAY WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NOW! OR I’LL TURN YOU INTO A PILLAR OF SALT BEFORE YOU CAN SAY GOMORRAH! YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR FOLLOWING A FALSE GOD AND JUST GENERALLY ANNOYING ME! I HAVE A FINGER FULL OF OMNIPOTENT POWER HERE AND I’LL USE IT ON YOUR PAGAN ASS IF I HAVE TO! GO AHEAD, BITCH, MAKE MY MILLENNIA! YOU’RE MY LITTLE PUPPY NOW!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.