Why you ask? Cause I pulled up my email to find yet another person advertising their cyber-begging website in the comments to one of my entries wherein I decried the success of SaveKaryn for being a success. This particular cyber-begger hit a nerve with me because they were begging for funds to fix up their house someplace in France.
I lost my cool. Big time.
I didn’t just respond to the comments, I copied the ad into a new entry and then proceeded to unload with both barrels in what was probably the most sarcastic and profanity laden blog entry I’ve ever done on this site. I also emailed a copy of the entry to the folks who posted the ad in the first place. I was still pissed when I got home from work and found they had responded with what seemed, to me, to be a rather insincere apology. So I replied again pointing out, with fewer swear words this time, just why the hell I was so pissed. Another response back this time with the person in question claiming naivet and being in tears at my nasty attack on them.
It was pretty nasty too.
My cynical side kept whispering in my ear that this was probably the work of some guy running a dozen such sob-tale cyber-begging sites trying to manipulate my, and everyone else’s who would read our exchange, emotions. I still wanted to be angry and feel like I was justified in my very public and very vociferous outcry, but my conscious got to me and I didn’t like the idea that I was making some lady in France cry because I got pissed about her attempts to cyber-beg no matter how much I hate the attitude most French people tend to have about Americans. I didn’t like the idea that I could be pointed to by said French people as a good example of why they have bad attitudes about Americans.
So I deleted the entry. It’s the first time I have ever deleted anything I had posted on my blog. I’m debating writing another email to offer at least a small apology. I’m still angry to a small degree, but there’s a part of me that knows it doesn’t really make any damned difference whether someone has a legit reason to beg for money on the Internet or not. As much as it is something I can’t bring myself to do, and I could use the money, nor as much as I am appalled that people actually do fork over their cash, in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter. There are more important things for me to spend my rage on. I should have realized that earlier this afternoon, but I had gotten myself worked into a fevered bout of righteous indignation as fiery as any Evangelical preacher and that bothers me somewhat. I’m a better person than that.
So if you saw my little public tantrum earlier, please excuse me. Maybe I am allowing my emotions to be manipulated, but it was still uncalled for and childish of me. All I can offer in defense is the fact that I am only human with all the failings and frailties that brings with it.