Fun with referrer logs.

I have a referrer script that logs where people come to my website from. A good half to two-thirds of the people who come to my blog do so from various search engines, Google in particular. Every now and then I’ll sit down and go through and check out what search terms brought people to my site and, more interestingly, how high my site is ranked for whatever it is they were searching for.

For example if you go to Google and type in Skinning Windows XP you’ll see that the very first link is to an entry I did on that very topic. My little blurb is number 1 on the list of sites Google thinks fit the search terms. In this case my entry actually talks a bit about the subject in question so that’s not too surprising, though I would’ve expect links to either Windows Blinds or StyleXP to be first on the list. As it is, I’m impressed I beat out big sites like deviantART (which is an excellent place to get skins and wallpapers and you should all go bookmark it).

For a short while I was the number 1 listing at Yahoo’s search for the search term “penn and teller bullshit” ahead of the link to Showtime’s official site for the series, but now I’ve fallen to 5th place. I’m in second place at Google for the search term “bush is a bastard”, which is funny when you consider I’ve never actually said that. Thought it a few times, but haven’t actually said it. Google links back to my entry about how Bush isn’t any more honest than Clinton was. I’m still in the number three slot at Yahoo for the search term “folding money” for my little commentary on that subject way back in May of last year. That one shows up a lot in my log. Lot of people wanting to molest money in hopes of seeing conspiracy theories. And I’m number three at Google for people trying to find out whether or not Alfred Hitchcock had a bellybutton, another search term that shows up in my log. A lot. All of those are relatively appropriate to what the people end up seeing.

Then there’s the stuff that the search engines think is a great match that I imagine must be pissing off people when they come here. Like the folks who came to my site on the search term “saddam hussein is an evil bastard” for which Google gives me the number one and two spots on the results. The first links to my Bush honesty rant and the other links to my rant about justifying going to war in the most simplistic way possible. Neither post talks about how evil Saddam may or may not be. Or how about the folks who came after searching for “in the face of evil, we have a change by rev. billy graham” after Google listed my rant about Billy Graham being a hypocrite as the number 1 best link? Think they’re a little pissed? Probably not as much as the folks searching for the “safety tip of the day” only to have Google tell them my occasional smart-ass entries with that title are the third best choice.

Probably the one that pisses people off the most, however, is the folks coming from Yahoo after searching for “saint goncalo” only to find my sarcastic commentary about people rubbing their sore asses against his statue in Portugal. Currently it’s ranked at number 2, but for a few days it was the number 1 link. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten a ton of hate mail from Catholics everywhere over it yet.

Generally speaking my site shows up in just about any search involving the words “Stupid”, “Evil”, or “Bastard”. I get a lot of people showing up from searches for “stupid quotes” or “evil atheists” or “bastard nuns peeing on the rug pics” and stuff like that. In some cases I have no idea why the search engine thought my site would be a good one, but it did.

UPDATE: This just in, MSN Search has me listed as the number one link for “dave barry blog”. What more could a fan hope for?

7 thoughts on “Fun with referrer logs.

  1. Oh man, isn’t that stuff fun? I go through the logs for my site as well. I put up a post a while back about the weird phrases that brought people to me. A bit scary.  šŸ˜€

  2. You would be angry if someone told you not to be passionate about what you believed, even more angier if someone told you that you are brainwashed by the liberal society.  How then should any of us become so passionately angry with Creationists and Christians for believing what they believe, and also being passionate about it.  Why be so offended by Christians for being too loud when they preach, when there are those out there who mutilate the genitalia of 8 year old girls in the name of their religion?  After working in the hospital and recieving death-threats from deranged patients, I guess I’m just more lax about the small shit lol.

  3. Actually, please delete my comment.  When I joined your site, I was typing in the “post a comment box” to give my thoughts on the “thread” about Creationists and teaching “Inteligent Design” in schools.  After signing on, my comment appeared on this page.  A mistake on my part OR a brief glitch on the site, I assure you it was not on purpose, and I am quite confused about it myself.  Sorry to have envoked such an…..enflamatory reaction from you though, geez.

  4. It’s true, Les, there’s a bug in the software whereby when you sign in, you get taken to another page—hard to tell how it chooses, but maybe it was the last page you posted to when you were last logged in.  In any case, it’s easy to mistake, and very annoying to have to find your way back to the thread you wanted to comment on.

  5. Actually, I should probably apologize myself. I was in a bad mood yesterday and I let that bother more than I should have. It happens a lot, though, and has become a bit of a pet peeve of mine. Still, I overreacted and so I apologize for doing so.

  6. No problem.  Some members of my family saw this site and thought it was great.  I decided to sign up and keep checking back.

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