…I should probably be in bed already. Instead, I’ve been sitting here with my lovely wife figuring out just how much spare cash I’ve got to work with for Christmas. I only got maybe 4 hours sleep last night and I’m looking at a mere 6 tonight. Assuming I stop typing this soon and go to bed and fall asleep quickly.
We figure we’ve got enough cash for this to be a thin, but decent Christmas overall. Yet somehow I’m having trouble staying beyond the clutches of a last-minute holiday funk. This is the first year I’ve ever had a problem with depression around the holidays as I’m usually ridiculously over-geeked at this point in time. It’s not so much the belt-tightening itself that’s bothering me, though it doesn’t help my mood much, as much as the slowly dawning realization that I really do suck at decorating for the holidays and as much as I may try I don’t think I’ll ever leave my daughter with the warm feelings I associate with this holiday.
Time is another issue. My life moves too quickly these days. Less than 15 days before the Big C and I’ve got exactly three presents so far. Between day-to-day life and the usual visiting that takes place this time of year I’m quickly running out of shopping days. Every year I vow to get all this crap out of the way in November, particularly on the day after Thanksgiving, but I never seem to have the money even with a Christmas Club savings account.
Of course, none of these issues is Earth shattering and in the great scheme of things I have very few problems that really deserve being depressed about and I know all of this on a lower level. I’m hoping this is just cause I’m overly tired and cranky. I’m going to go to bed now and hope that I feel better come the morning.