Must… have… a… Pessimist’s… Mug(tm)…
In these irrationally exuberant times, it’s getting harder and harder for the self-respecting pessimist to stay unhappy. So pervasive is the hope, so overwhelming the positivity, that without the firmest grip on your sullen perspective, you might actually lose it. Then one day, you wake up looking at the bright side, whistling some inane showtune, and generally annoying everyone around you.
Fortunately, we’ve created a solution. Despair, Inc. is proud to introduce The Pessimist’s Mug Specifically engineered by the chronically cynical pessimists of Despair Laboratories, this crystal-clear mug will help all who drink from it to Stay Grounded by forever reminding them to see when the glass is half-empty.
I’m always being told I’m a pessimist anyway even if I don’t agree with that assessment.