One of the things I’ve always thought was great about surfing the Internet is that even now, some 21 years after I first logged into it, I’m still finding stuff I never realized was out there. For example, this blogging thing I’m trying to get into. Up until I started on this little project I had heard of the concept, but I hadn’t actually looked into it much. I knew that it was a “big thing” with a lot of folks the same way that a lot of folks are hooked on chatting in chat rooms or bidding on auctions at Ebay. I had seen some of the scripts that were used by the folks who blog, but I hadn’t sat down and really read any blogs. When I did, I realized they were doing what I had been wanting to do all along.
I have this need to express myself in some way. I get into these periods of creative restlessness where my desire for artistic expression is overwhelmed by my inability to do so in any way that I am happy with. I have attempted to release this frustration as I grew up by taking various art classes and attempting to draw or paint or sculpt, but I’ve never been happy with the outcome of these ventures. I don’t have the patience or discipline to learn how to do these things with the skill and finesse that would make me happy with the final product. I tried playing a musical instrument, a violin, and I started off showing much promise only to plateau in part due to that same lack of patience. Writing is one of the few things I seem to be any good at, creatively speaking, and which provides me with results I am happy with. Even then I often suffer from writer’s block and my tendancy to procrastinate.
I also have things I want to say. I feel I’m a relatively unique, some might say eccentric, individual with views and opinions that are different than what you might expect if you were to judge me strictly by my appearance. Throughout my life I have felt that I was largely misunderstood by those around me including my family and friends, though it turns out that there may be a real reason for this. Still, I am left with the impression that my family members have largely looked upon me as being immature and irresponsible and that everyone else pretty much thinks I’m an odd, but decent enough fellow. I have at least three close friends who seek out my opinion on matters simply because I don’t tend to look at things the same way as anyone else they know. Among my critics, foe and family alike, I am considered to be arrogant and condescending and I can even see how they could view me as such.
It took me a long time to get to a point where I like the person that I am, but the journey here has been worthwhile. This blog is an attempt to shed some light on who I am, how I think, and why I do what I do for anyone who cares to find out, or is just morbidly curious. Not all that different from many of the other blogs I’ve read recently in my quest to understand what I was getting myself into. Yet at the same time it will be very different just by the nature of its subject. I was struck by how individual and personal the various blogs I stopped at were and there is a quality about them that I have difficulty putting into words. The best I can manage is to say that they put a face to the “faceless masses” that make up the concept of the general public. Not a good explanation for what I’m feeling, but the best I can do at the moment. One of the best examples of this I’ve come across is the Journal of a.lifeuncommon.org by Dawn, which was nominated for a best-designed weblog award for the 2002 Bloggies. Yep, it’s gotten to be that big of a thing that there are folks out there handing out awards to blogs.
I don’t expect to be winning any awards for my blog anytime soon, but I am looking forward to seeing just where this latest attempt at self-expression will take me.