SEB PSA: Penis vanity can kill you.

I never cease to be amazed at the lengths (pardon the pun) people will go to to have a bigger dick. Especially considering that the vast majority of them carry a lot of risk for very little (and often temporary) gain. Herbal supplements, surgery, weights, you name it and someone has probably tried to use . . . → Read More: SEB PSA: Penis vanity can kill you.

My life may not be perfect, but at least I haven’t had THIS happen to me.

Vanity can be a dangerous thing. Some of the stuff people do to try and look younger is often silly and can come with some unconsidered risks. Take, for example, bathing with eels to remove dead skin:

Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let . . . → Read More: My life may not be perfect, but at least I haven’t had THIS happen to me.

Well this is a novel way to get your ass run over.

It’s probably safe to say that Benjamin Keyser is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Seems he was riding as a passenger in a F350 Ford Truck with a moon roof when he thought it’d be hilarious to climb out of said moon roof while the truck was in motion:

“He immediately lost . . . → Read More: Well this is a novel way to get your ass run over.

Man looking for a “portal to hell” stabs a couple of old ladies in New Jersey.

No idea if too much religion or just too many drugs are to blame for this incident so I’ll let it speak for itself:

UNION, N.J. — A man who claimed he was seeking the “portal to hell” repeatedly stabbed two women early Friday after they noticed misplaced items in their backyard and opened the . . . → Read More: Man looking for a “portal to hell” stabs a couple of old ladies in New Jersey.

Always remember that your life could be much worse…

… you could be one of these poor saps:

Sure I may not have excelled in the past year and might have been unemployed for awhile, but at least I didn’t do a face plant while trying to show off in some stupid fashion. Some of these had me grabbing . . . → Read More: Always remember that your life could be much worse…

SEB Safety Tip: Life doesn’t have a reset button.

Pic from the video game Frogger.

Kinda like this, but more painful.

Look, I’m as big a video game nerd as the next one, but even I know that it’s a bad idea to try and recreate a video game in real-life:

CLEMSON, S.C. — Clemson police said a game ended up with a 23-year-old man struck by an SUV.

Emergency . . . → Read More: SEB Safety Tip: Life doesn’t have a reset button.

SEB Safety Tip: Clogged snowblowers should be cleaned with a stick, not your hand.

Pic of snowblower warning.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

Unlike the previous SEB safety tip, this is one that some folks might need to be told about.

If you have a snowblower and it gets clogged on heavy snow, which they are wont to do, you should never stick your hand into the chute to clear the clog. . . . → Read More: SEB Safety Tip: Clogged snowblowers should be cleaned with a stick, not your hand.

SEB Safety Tip: Don’t try to clean your fireplace while you still have a fire in it.

Pic of bag head on fire.

There are some things you’d think you wouldn’t have to tell people, but you’d be wrong:

COLORRADO SPRINGS, Colo.—A Colorado Springs man who tried to clean his natural-gas fireplace while it was still lit nearly roasted himself over an open fire. He was hospitalized with second-degree burns.

Colorado Springs fire authorities say the unnamed man . . . → Read More: SEB Safety Tip: Don’t try to clean your fireplace while you still have a fire in it.

When Christmas Pageants attack! Next on FOX!

A lot of Christian churches go all out for Christmas and do their best to bring the myths legends alive for their congregations. Often this involves making use of live animals in a Nativity scene or skit, which is fine when you’re doing it outdoors, but a lot trickier when you move it indoors:

. . . → Read More: When Christmas Pageants attack! Next on FOX!

Momma is in the hospital.

My mother took a fall today and broke one of her legs. It looks to be a pretty bad break and she’ll probably be in the hospital for a few days as they sort out what to do about it. I don’t have a lot of details at the moment, but as soon as I . . . → Read More: Momma is in the hospital.