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Every day as I commute into work I pass by a church sign next to the freeway. Like many other church signs, it has a spot for witticisms and wisdom to be dispensed in small bites that can be read easily while zooming by at 70 mph. Most of the time they’re fairly innocuous, but occasionally . . . → Read More: Annoying Church sign of the Day: Friends. You can’t beat Christian television programs aimed at kids for unintentional hilarity. Take for example this clip about how you shouldn’t cuss or use God’s name in vain. In particular the song plays hell with a corrupt mind like mine:
Setting aside the unintentional humor of it all, I was especially struck by . . . → Read More: I can certainly think of some wonderful things your mouth can do. …what would he vomit up? Does God need to eat food? For what reason would God need a gag reflex that could result in his vomiting? Surely he can't get food poisoning. Or is this asshole simply saying that God wants to vomit as a means of expressing how disgusted he is, but can't because . . . → Read More: Assuming for a moment that God could vomit 
This doesn't have anything to do with the article, really, I just thought it was funny. First it was Michelle Bachmann claiming that God gave her a “sense” that she should run for President. Then Rick Perry said that he felt God calling him to run just prior to announcing that he was joining . . . → Read More: God can’t seem to make up his mind who he wants the next President to be. 
God makes a lot of questionable demands of his followers. Demands like, “Hey, take your kid up on the mountain and sacrifice him to me!” Or “Hey, strip down to your trunks and swim to Liberty Island!” The latter order was given to an unnamed 29-year-old man in New York city who ended up having . . . → Read More: Too Much Faith Will Make You Crazy: God told me to swim edition. 
Don't you understand? Those wildfires are part of my ineffable plan! If you’ve been paying attention to the news then you’ve probably heard that Texas has been on fire, literally, for over a week now. With some 8,000 wildfires, the state is breaking records it would rather not in terms of yearly wildfires. So . . . → Read More: Gov. Perry asks Texans to pray for rain. God says “fuck you.” 
When someone puts forth something silly as proof of the existence of God I usually just roll my eyes and continue on my way. Usually, but not this time.
It only has "eyes" for you. Get it? I was shopping one day, and bought a large bag of potatoes, and usually they are oval . . . → Read More: Man considers heart-shaped potato to be a sign from God. 
When you stop to really think about it, God is a dick:
Found via Internet Today. Susan B. Anthony said in 1896: I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. The above is not news to anyone who is paying attention. Ask most Believers what they feel God’s stance is on a particular moral question . . . → Read More: Study suggests people attribute their own views to God. |
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