OK, one more time: Do NOT point your laser pointers at aircraft.

 

Pic of Charlie Brown.

I’m right there with you on that one, Chuck.

Man admits he pointed green laser beam into airplane cockpit at PBIA – Sun Sentinel

Michael Ryan Fischer, 26, of Wellington, pleaded guilty to a federal charge and admitted that he intentionally aimed the beam of the laser pointer into an AirTran flight shortly before 11 p.m. on Dec. 30, 2012. He also pointed the laser into a sheriff’s office helicopter that was sent to investigate the incident, according to court records.

This jackhole is getting off easy as the prosecutor is recommending a punishment that doesn’t involve jail time. He could’ve been facing five years in a federal prison.

It’s a felony to do this. You could blind the pilots and cause a crash and then you would be facing even more serious charges. You wouldn’t randomly shoot a gun into an aircraft cockpit (I hope) so why do you think there’s no harm in doing the same thing with a freakin’ laser?

The next time you think to yourself, “Gee, I wonder what would happen if I shined this laser into the cockpit of that passing aircraft?” Do everyone a favor and take that laser and shove it up your ass where it’s less likely to do any real harm to anyone. Better yet, if you don’t think you can resist the impulse of shining lasers at random passing vehicles then don’t even buy one. Surely there are better things you can spend your time and money on that don’t carry the risk of landing you in federal prison because you happen to be a dumbass.

Family of armed robber pissed suspect was shot by good samaritan.

Sometimes I’m amazed by the utter gall of my fellow humans. Take, for example, this news report about some idiot named Adric White who decided a dollar store would make a good target for an armed robbery down in Alabama and his resultant gunshot injury:

The Good Samaritan, who we are not identifying, told FOX10 News he was shopping at the Family Dollar on Stanton road when he noticed a masked gunman leading one of the employees to the front of the store.

“He had the gun to his head. He had him on his knees,” said the man. “I drew my gun on him and I said ‘Hey don’t move.’ At that point he swung around and before he had a chance to aim the gun at me I fired. I didn’t want to shoot him.”

This appears to be one of those rare cases where a Good Guy with a gun does manage to take down a Bad Guy with a gun possibly saving some lives in the process. I don’t buy into the idea that the solution to all gun crimes is more people with guns, but I acknowledge that occasionally it does work out well if someone nearby is armed and this definitely fits that bill.

The suspect survived the shooting and is under police custody at a local hospital. We already suspect he’s not too bright for thinking a dollar store was worth robbing . That suspicion is confirmed when we learn that he was out on bond after being charged in connection to another armed robbery at a local restaurant about a month earlier.  This guy is as dumb as a bag of rocks.

Apparently, stupidity is inherent to his gene pool:

A family member who did not want to be identified said White should have never been shot to begin with.

“If his (the customer) life was not in danger, if no one had a gun up to him, if no one pointed a gun at him – what gives him the right to think that it’s okay to just shoot someone?” said the relative. “You should have just left the store and went wherever you had to go in your car or whatever.”

I have two words for White’s anonymous family member: Fuck You.

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I’m a flat-out Liberal with a capital L, but even I think that if you or your loved ones are stupid enough to engage in an armed robbery and are threatening the lives and livelihoods of other people then you shouldn’t be surprised — let alone upset — if you get shot in the process.

I don’t carry a gun, but had I found myself in that situation where a gunman had a gun pointed at someone’s head and it was apparent the gunman wasn’t aware of my presence and I could see a way of coming up from behind and clocking him in the back of the head with whatever large, blunt object happened to be on hand you can be pretty sure I’d take the opportunity to give him a new opening in his skull. I wouldn’t try to kill him outright, but I’d make damn sure he wouldn’t be getting off the floor before the police arrived.

Your precious little snowflake lost any right to not be harmed the moment he threatened to harm someone else. If you’d rather he not be injured again then perhaps you should encourage him to find a more legitimate way to get his cash. There are certain occupational hazards that come with being an armed robber. Whining about him being shot just makes you look like a bigger idiot than he is.

Another reason why Christians are seen as the bad guys.

Between groups like the Westboro Baptist Church asshats, the nutcases behind World Net Daily, and the Catholic Church in general, the image of Christians in the minds of a lot of people can end up pretty tarnished.

But you don’t have to be a part of an organized group to help contribute to the your religion’s image problem. You can be like Dean Saxton and just go around holding up a sign that says ‘You Deserve Rape’:

Source: Ryan Revock/Arizona Daily Wildcat

Source: Ryan Revock/Arizona Daily Wildcat

Dean Saxton — also known as Brother Dean Samuel — regularly preaches on the UA Mall in front of Heritage Hill and the Administration building. On Tuesday, his sermon drew the attention of onlookers, several of whom either personally confronted him or complained to the Dean of Students Office.

Saxton, a junior studying classics and religious studies, said his sermon was meant to convey that “if you dress like a whore, act like a whore, you’re probably going to get raped.”

“I think that girls that dress and act like it,” Saxton said, “they should realize that they do have partial responsibility, because I believe that they’re pretty much asking for it.

Ah, the classic asshat tactic of blaming the victim. Those poor men. So tempted by the slutty sluts who dress in a manner Brother Dean finds inappropriate that they just can’t help themselves. If women would just dress the way Saxton thinks they should then rape would probably disappear completely! You gotta admire a man who is so confident in his beliefs that he’ll shout them from the rooftops no matter how much it offends the folks he’s trying to win over.

Jesus loves you, Brother Dean, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

Hackers are somehow managing to ban BF3 players on the PC

It’s bad enough that these assholes like to ruin games on the PC using wall hacks and aimbots, but now they’ve found a way to frame innocent players getting them banned via the PunkBuster anti-cheat system, which has long been considered a piss-poor solution to the problem and now appears to be a part of the problem.

I’ve never understood the appeal of ruining someone else’s enjoyment of a game by cheating at it and given how widespread the problem is you’d think that the companies would’ve come up with a way to negate or limit the ability of these assholes to engage in this behavior. But I suppose that with consoles pulling in the big bucks these days and the natural resistance those platforms have to hacks (you can’t run your own software in the background while the game plays) there’s little inclination to bother with the problem on the PC. #seb #videogames #cheating #hackers #assholes #bf3

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Hackers Brag That They’re Banning Innocent Battlefield 3 Users [Battlefield]
The people at the game-hacking site Artificial Aiming can’t stand the anti-cheat service Punkbuster, so they’re going on the offensive today.
They say they’re banning innocent Battlefield 3 users—”framing” them, as they put it—to show their disdain for Punkbuster, a service that PC players of the popular first-person shooter are compelled to install when they start the game.
The hackers have narrowed their target to Battlefield 3 users who are playing on servers that are tied into the cheat-d…

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Assuming for a moment that God could vomit

…what would he vomit up? Does God need to eat food? For what reason would God need a gag reflex that could result in his vomiting? Surely he can't get food poisoning. Or is this asshole simply saying that God wants to vomit as a means of expressing how disgusted he is, but can't because he doesn't have a gag reflex or the need to eat? If God is so disgusted by homosexuals why does he keep making them? On top of all of that, how does this asshole know what God wants or is disgusted by? #seb #God #Religion #Assholes

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Santorum Florida Honorary Chair: Gays “Make God Want To Vomit”
The honorary chairman of Rick Santorum’s Florida campaign, Rev. O’Neal Dozier of the Worldwide Christian Center in Pompano Beach, has it in for gays, Mormons and Muslims. Jeb Bush and Charlie Crist already dumped him, but Santorum spoke from his pupit Sunday morning.
After Santorum said his piece at Worldwide Christian Center, Dozier told the Palm Beach Post that Mitt Romney was bound not for the White House, but for hell. “You can look at the June Gallup poll that shows the people have alrea…

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Pastor Mark Driscoll reveals himself to be a douche-bag. Admittedly…

Pastor Mark Driscoll reveals himself to be a douche-bag.

Admittedly, there's a certain amount of schadenfreude in listening to two Christians argue over whose church is better because of the gender of the person leading it, but it's also illustrative of the easily justifiable sexism which the Bible promotes and how some people latch onto that. Some particularly douchey people. #google+ #religion #sexism #assholes

Did Anyone Else Know Pastor Mark Driscoll Was Sexist?

If only every question had that obvious of an answer… Pastor Mark Driscoll , who just wrote a how-not-to book about marriage in which he admits he wouldn’t have married his wife had he known she “sinned” just after high school, just outed himself as even more of a douchebag. During a radio interview with British radio host Justin Brierley , Driscoll got into an argument over whose church was better — the one Driscoll runs or the one run by Brierley’s wife. Chris Massey has the transcript and …

More of that fabled Christian love. It really was…

More of that fabled Christian love.

It really was amazing to see some of the reactions to the death of Christopher Hitchens and the rise of the Twitter hashtag that was the title of one of his best selling books. You have to wonder if these people really think Jesus would approve of their statements. The scary part is that many of them are serious. #google+ #religion #twitter #assholes

Theists Threaten to Kill Atheists, Again.

Earlier this year Blair Scott did an interview on Fox News and it stirred up the religious rage against Atheists. Hateful comments filled the Fox News’ Facebook page. Christians were saying things like, “I hope someone rapes you” and “Atheists are scum, can we start killing them now?” All these threats were in response to Scott questioning the constitutionality of a cross being included at the 9/11 Memorial.
Hatred must lay just beneath the surface for many theists (of which I suspect many ar…

Beware cold calls from people claiming to be from Microsoft about problems with your computer.

I got a fun phone call this evening. The number was blocked and my initial reaction was to not answer it, but my boss is in town and the phones at work don’t always show up properly on my phone’s caller ID so I went against my better judgement and answered it. The man on the other end of the line had a very thick Indian accent and sounded like he was working in a call center. He claimed to be an official Microsoft Technical Support technician and that they had been alerted to problems with my PC that could result in “very bad” crashes that could result in “total loss of all data.”

Naturally I was very concerned about this newly discovered risk and he helpfully offered to show me where on my computer I could see for myself the dozens of error messages they had been receiving through a “web server” (you could almost hear the double quotes in the way he said it). He had me sit down in front of my PC (I was already there) and gave me step-by-step instructions on how to launch the Event Viewer in Windows. Therein he directed me to the Custom Views and Administrative Events log where there were, indeed, dozens and dozens of error messages and warnings including some that were critical! Oh my!

These generic error messages spell my DOOOOOM!

This is why, he explained as though I were a five-year-old, that my computer was at risk and that I had hit the limit which triggered their contacting me. Not to fear, they could assist in fixing the problem! He asked if I had Internet Explorer, I said I do, so he instructed me to go to a webpage where I should download a product called Ammyy Admin 3 (it’s free!) which would allow them to assist me directly.

It was at this point that I informed him that I was a computer technician myself and that I knew there wasn’t anything wrong with my computer and that they weren’t receiving notifications through a “web server” of problems I might be having and… that’s when he hung up on me.

Now it appears that the Ammyy Admin 3 software is a legitimate product used by a number of folks that asshole scammers have latched onto for this cold calling scam because it’s free and allows them to take control of your PC once it’s installed. There’s even a forum thread on their site about this scam. Not to mention that if you Google the URL you were given you find that immediately after the link to the Ammyy software homepage are links to people reporting on this scam. Word has it that if you go along with the scam they’ll show you some more generic error messages in the Event Viewer logs and tell you it’s because your system is infected with a virus and then they’ll take you to a website where they’ll try to get you to buy an anti-virus software package that probably doesn’t do jack shit. The details vary as does the software — this account from another support professional back in 2005 said they used a remote desktop package called Teamviewer — but the scam is the same. Show you some scary looking logs and convince you to buy their bullshit software.

Here’s the thing, at any given point in time the Event Viewer is almost always going to be chock full of error messages. That’s just the nature of the Windows beast. If you’re familiar with the Event Viewer then it’s not too difficult to figure out that most of these aren’t anything to be concerned about, but for the average Jane or Joe it can look pretty alarming. Folks have said that once they take control of your PC they’ll also do stupid things like list the files in your Temp or Prefetch folder and then tell you that those files are the result of spyware or a virus. Again, if you’re not that familiar with how Windows works it could look pretty scary. One red flag that you’re being bullshitted is the fact that they have you download a free third-party Remote Desktop tool. Windows already has a Remote Desktop tool built in along with a Remote Assistance tool which Microsoft would probably make use of if it was really Microsoft. Which it isn’t because Microsoft would never call you for something like this.

As near as I can tell, the scammers aren’t using the opportunity of having full access to your computer to steal your personal information (e.g. documents, credit card numbers, bank passwords, etc.) but I didn’t dig into too many of the websites that are talking about this so I can’t say for sure that they aren’t. Needless to say, once you’ve given them access to your machine you should probably consider it comprised badly enough to back up your data, erase your hard drive, and reinstall everything from scratch. Hopefully you’ll have read this first and will recognize these assholes when they come calling.

Bad: You and your girlfriend are robbed. Worse: Robbers introduce your girlfriend to your wife.

Ha ha!

Talk about adding insult to injury:

The robbers forced the man into a waiting vehicle, and two of the robbers got into the pickup truck with the woman, Miami police said. The masked men used flex cuffs to bind the man’s and the woman’s wrists and drove them to the man’s house on Northwest 14th Street in Miami, according to investigators.

When they arrived at the house, police said they found the man’s wife, his mother and two children in the home.

Police said the robbers tied up the whole family, beat up the man, roughed up his wife and then took jewelry and money from the home. The men took off with thousands of dollars in cash and jewelry, Miami police said.

Before leaving, the robbers brought the man’s girlfriend into the home and introduced her to his wife, according to investigators. The robbers then left them all together in the house and took off.

via Kidnappers Introduce Victim’s Girlfriend To Wife – Miami News Story – WPLG Miami.

While I don’t condone the violence and robbery done to the man, his mistress, and his family, I do have to admit to feeling a certain amount of Schadenfreude over his unfortunate experience.  It’s hard to feel sorry for the guy’s plight given what an asshole he is though it was also a dick move on the part of the robbers to make things even worse for him. I suppose if you’re going to be enough of an asshole to rob and kidnap people to begin with then exposing their infidelity is probably just icing on the cake for you.

Now that I think about it, I just posted an entry about a man being an asshole to his neighbor over his cancer which I guess is an extreme form of Schadenfreude as well. Am I wrong to call that man an asshole for his glee over his neighbor’s misfortune only to laugh at the man in this news item?

 

Man posts sign expressing delight that his neighbor has cancer.

Well that's not very neighborly! Click to embiggen!

I can be an asshole at times just like anyone else, but this is taking assholeishness to a whole other level:

Cranston residents protest sign urging cancer patient to die – Projo 7 to 7 News Blog 

Bob Gold, 55, has been in remission for a year from Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which he has been fighting since February 2009. He said that on Monday, he was in his backyard when he saw a holiday wreath with a red bow on the back window of Jimmis’ garage. A hand-lettered note inside the wreath read: “Glad you have canser (sic). So die stupid.”

It seems that Edward Jimmis, the man who put up the sign, had previously had some sort of disagreements with Bob Gold, his neighbor, that left him with one hell of a grudge. He says in the news item that he “wanted to hit a nerve” and he certainly accomplished that goal as several people showed up to protest outside his house. Gold also called the police about the sign, but Jimmis wasn’t doing anything illegal in posting it so there wasn’t a whole lot they could do. They did show up to ensure that the protest stayed peaceful and commended the folks present for holding the protest.

After a reporter spoke with Jimmis he changed the sign to read “love your neighbor” as some sort of act of contrition:

On Tuesday, Gold, unsatifisfied with the change, called the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and visited the mayor’s office, speaking with Carlos E. Lopez, who handles constituent affairs.

“We can’t legislate being a good neighbor,” Lopez said later in the day. “You want to be able to help, but we have to make sure we respect everyone’s legal rights. … Let’s hope for the better side of humanity to prevail on this.”

Police did send some representatives to talk to both men about sitting down and working out their differences. Jimmis agreed that he was being an asshole in posting the sign and he promised that he wouldn’t post it again. He also agreed to sitting down with officers and Gold to talk things out:

Gold, however, said he wasn’t yet ready to sit down with his neighbor.

Which is a shame because it will justify in his neighbor’s mind that he was right to be an asshole. You go through all that trouble to bring attention to your neighbor’s dickishness and shame him into being contrite and then you refuse to try and work things out? Who’s being the asshole now?