Via ***Dave:

1. What time did you get up this morning?
6:00 a.m. That’s standard for the Monday through Friday grind until August 17th when I’ll be switching to afternoon shift. Then it’s a crap shoot.

2. How do you like your steak?
I’m sure I’m going to appall a lot of people with this answer, but I like mine medium-well. Of course when you ask for it to be medium-well there’s only about a 50/50 chance of it actually being medium-well.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Currently my favorite is Better Off Ted, but you could also say The Big Bang Theory and Doctor Who. There are very few shows I make a point of watching.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Tokyo might be fun for awhile, but I’m pretty happy with Michigan overall. My reluctance to move out of state is probably why I’m not earning as much as I have in the past.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Haven’t had it yet, but will be grabbing a bowl of Raisin Bran and some orange juice courtesy of my employer in a moment.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
I don’t really have a favorite. It depends on my mood.

8. What foods do you dislike?
Raw tomatoes, Asparagus, anything overly spicy.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
I’m a big fan of Red Robin burgers, but there’s also this little Mom and Pop Italian place here in Ann Arbor called Bella Italia which I highly recommend to anyone in the area. I love their Alfredo Chicken.

10. Favorite dressing?
Ranch mostly, though I used to be really fond of Thousand Island. I like a good Italian every now and then too.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
2000 Pontiac Grand Prix or a 2004 Honda Civic.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Jeans and Hawaiian shirts or t-shirts. I’m not a snappy dresser.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
England, Japan, Hawaii, the Bahamas. All sorts of places. Alas I don’t get vacations very often and don’t have the cash it would take.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Neither. It’s half a cup.

15. Where would you want to retire?
Hadn’t thought about it. Considering my piss-poor planning I probably won’t be able to retire.

16. Favorite time of day?
Don’t really have one. Or I should say that it varies.

17. Where were you born?
Detroit, Michigan. Which is odd as I’ve never lived in Detroit itself.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Not a sports guy. I was born without the Male Sports Gene.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
No one will tag me back because I don’t plan on tagging anyone.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
See #19

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
No one in particular.

22. Bird watcher?
Not really.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I’m definitely a night owl. I have a hard time getting to bed before midnight. Which is a pain when you get up at 6AM.

24. Do you have any pets?
Two black cats. Melvin and Beanie. Neither of whom get along with the other.

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
Nothing I’ve not already blogged about.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
Santa Claus. Thought it was the coolest job ever. Barring that I wanted to be an actor or a stunt man.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Most of what I remember from my childhood are fragments and impressions of events. Just about any Christmas morning will do along with any number of moments from summer or winter playing outdoors.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
**Dave’s response is pretty much what I would say: I enjoy dogs, but don’t want to take pack responsibility. So definitely cats.

29. Are you married?
Yes. Well into our ninth year now.

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Without fail. I’m one of those assholes who insist you do so as well if you’re riding with me.

31. Been in a car accident?
A couple. Broke my neck in one of them (not as bad as it sounds).

32. Any pet peeves?
A few. I tend to do repetitive things by routines and I always get annoyed when the routines are interrupted by something silly. This is mostly something that occurs in my job.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Pepperoni, mushroom, ham, sausage, pretty much any meat short of anchovies. I’m a fan of Hawaiian and Mediterranean Chicken pizzas.

34. Favorite Flower?
Never thought about it. Not much for flowers myself.

35. Favorite ice cream?
Cookie Dough, Rocky Road, Moose Tracks, though sometimes I’m quite partial to a simple but rich Vanilla.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
I love me some Arby’s, but it’s too expensive to eat there often.

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
Passed it on the first try.

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Coworker. It was notes on how her shift went last night.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Newegg.com, but I don’t have any credit cards.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Freaked out over my daughter’s decision to not come home in the fall. That was pretty spontaneous in that I hadn’t planned on it.

41. Like your job?
It’s OK. Doesn’t pay as well as I’d like (or am used to) and is far less technical than I’d prefer. In this economy, though, it’s better than a lot of stuff I could be doing.

42. Broccoli?
Sure. I particularly like it raw with ranch dressing to dip it in. Though a good steaming with butter is always nice. Maybe some cheddar poured over top.

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Disney World back when I was a teenager. Been meaning to get back there ever since.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
My wife, Anne. We ate at Red Robbin.

45. What are you listening to right now?
The gentle woosh of the A/C here at work. Don’t tend to listen to music much outside of the car.

46. What is your favorite color?
Blue.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
None. Not that I haven’t thought about it, but I can’t decide what I’d like to have done.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
None. I don’t tend to tag people with memes.

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
8:29 am

50. Coffee Drinker?
Yes, though not habitually. Mainly on the weekends at this point.

You’ve seen this sort of meme before. A list of things/items/places that you’ve done/own/visited where you boldface the ones you’ve done/owned/been to see how cool/nerdy/hardcore you are. This one is on atheism from the Friendly Atheist. I’ve added my notes where I thought they’d be insightful.

1. Participated in the Blasphemy Challenge. - I haven’t done this, though I’ve thought about it. Truth is I’ve already done so much blasphemy in my time that this wouldn’t really amount to much for me.
2. Met at least one of the “Four Horsemen” (Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris) in person. - I haven’t yet, but I’d like to. I don’t think any of them read my blog.
3. Created an atheist blog. - It’s not solely about atheism, but I think I cover it enough for it to count.
4. Used the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a religious debate with someone.
5. Gotten offended when someone called you an agnostic. - Not so much offended as annoyed.
6. Been unable to watch Growing Pains reruns because of Kirk Cameron. - Though that was true before he became an insufferable Christian snot.
7. Own more Bibles than most Christians you know. - Though most of them are packed away someplace at the moment.
8. Have at least one Bible with your personal annotations regarding contradictions, disturbing parts, etc. - I have one, but don’t know where it is at the moment.
9. Have come out as an atheist to your family.
10. Attended a campus or off-campus atheist gathering.
11. Are a member of an organized atheist/Humanist/etc. organization.
12. Had a Humanist wedding ceremony. - We had a non-religious wedding, but I don’t know if it was Humanist or not. Even so the Justice of the Peace still put a prayer into the middle of it. That annoyed me somewhat.
13. Donated money to an atheist organization.
14. Have a bookshelf dedicated solely to Richard Dawkins.
15. Lost the friendship of someone you know because of your non-theism.
16. Tried to argue or have a discussion with someone who stopped you on the street to proselytize.
17. Hid your atheist beliefs on a first date because you didn’t want to scare him/her away. - Didn’t so much hide it as not mention it. Which could be considered the same thing, though it’s hard to know me for any amount of time and not know that I’m an atheist.
18. Own a stockpile of atheist paraphernalia (bumper stickers, buttons, shirts, etc).
19. Attended a protest that involved religion.
20. Attended an atheist conference.
21. Subscribe to Pat Condell’s YouTube channel.
22. Started an atheist group in your area or school.
23. Successfully “de-converted” someone to atheism. - Though not intentionally. I never engage with that as the intent, but I have had people tell me they deconverted in part because of talking to me.
24. Have already made plans to donate your body to science after you die. - Haven’t yet, but been thinking about it seriously. Saves a lot of cost on a funeral.
25. Told someone you’re an atheist only because you wanted to see the person’s reaction.
26. Had to think twice before screaming “Oh God!” during sex.  Or you said something else in its place.
27. Lost a job because of your atheism.
28. Formed a bond with someone specifically because of your mutual atheism (meeting this person at a local gathering or conference doesn’t count).
29. Have crossed “In God We Trust” off of — or put a pro-church-state-separation stamp on — dollar bills. - I don’t make a habit of it, but I’ve done it a few times.
30. Refused to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
31. Said “Gesundheit!” (or nothing at all) after someone sneezed because you didn’t want to say “Bless you!” - It’s not that I have a problem with saying bless you, but religious folks never fail to point out that I’m saying it despite being an atheist and then claiming it shows I really believe. So I don’t say it just to avoid the hassle.
32. Have ever chosen not to clasp your hands together out of fear someone might think you’re praying.
33. Have turned on Christian TV because you need something entertaining to watch. - Don’t do it often, but every now and then when the mood is right it’s good for a laugh.
34. Are a 2^nd or 3^rd (or more) generation atheist.
35. Have “atheism” listed on your Facebook or dating profile — and not a euphemistic variant.
36. Attended an atheist’s funeral (i.e. a non-religious service).
37. Subscribe to an freethought magazine (e.g. Free Inquiry, Skeptic)
38. Have been interviewed by a reporter because of your atheism. - Not yet at least.
39. Written a letter-to-the-editor about an issue related to your non-belief in God.
40. Gave a friend or acquaintance a New Atheist book as a gift.
41. Wear pro-atheist clothing in public.
42. Have invited Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses into your house specifically because you wanted to argue with them.
43. Have been physically threatened (or beaten up) because you didn’t believe in God.
44. Receive Google Alerts on “atheism” (or variants).
45. Received fewer Christmas presents than expected because people assumed you didn’t celebrate it.
46. Visited The Creation Museum or saw Ben Stein’s Expelled just so you could keep tabs on the “enemy.”
47. Refuse to tell anyone what your “sign” is… because it doesn’t matter at all.
48. Are on a mailing list for a Christian organization just so you can see what they’re up to… - I’m on several including the AFA’s list.
49. Have kept your eyes open while you watched others around you pray. - All the time. I don’t bow my head or close my eyes or recite anything. I will stand up and I will hold hands if asked, but otherwise I’m silent and respectful until they’re finished.
50. Avoid even Unitarian churches because they’re too close to religion for you.

So about 26 out of 50. Not too shabby, but I suppose that means I’m not all that hardcore after all.

Saw this on ***Dave’s blog and though it looked like fun:

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names):
Jay Bell

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad):
Clement… uh… it just occurred to me that I don’t know the names of either my paternal grandfather (he’s been dead for decades) or my step-dad’s father. How weird is that?

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name):
Jelesl

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal):
Blue Otter (I think this would make a better Super Hero name myself)

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live):
Troy Ann Arbor (that one doesn’t really work well at all)

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “THE” to the beginning):
Red Long Island Iced Tea

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name):
Lens

8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):
Cookie Dough Sugar

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet’s name, current street name):
Melvin Chelsea Circle (that one doesn’t really work either)

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on):
Tiger Meadowlawn

Take a picture o’ yourself right now. Don’t change yer clothes, don’t fix yer hair … Just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editin’. Post these instructions with yer picture.

Click to embiggen!

Though I must confess that I did a minor edit to reduce the size of the big version down to a manageable 1024x768, but otherwise it’s completely untouched. Meme seen originally at ***Dave’s blog where his pic is much more attractive.

I am a bit of a non-conformist by nature so articles like this one from Men’s Health that attempt to speak with authority on what some class of people—in this case Grown Men—should or shouldn’t have used to get my hackles up. I say “used to” because I’m finding that as I get older and more comfortable with the person that I am I have fewer insecurities that would make an article like this one threatening enough to make me angry. If anything I find them amusing. So let’s take a moment and see what I shouldn’t have now that I’m definitely a grown man and how well I stack up to the list:

1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You’re smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you’re going to lose.

I vaguely recall my last black eye occurring sometime in my 20’s and not from any kind of a fist fight. I’ve never been much for fisticuffs to begin with, all the fights I got into in my school years were started by someone else who wouldn’t let me walk away, so this one is easy for me. There’s been a couple of close calls over the years where it looked like I might have to defend myself, but most folks don’t tend to mess with me because they mistakenly think I’m a bad ass thanks to my beard.

2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don’t let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.

I don’t currently have a witty email signature, but only because I’ve not gotten around to it. Not sure I see a problem with this myself. Witty signatures have been part of email since it was first invented. I do keep a witty signature on my blog comments. Does that count against me?

3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her…along with breakfast in bed.

I’m guessing this article is aimed at Single Grown Men and not Married Grown Men like me. Truth is Anne handles most of this task in terms of figuring out what to buy and when. My contribution consists of earning the money and going along on a semi-regular basis to provide moral support, push the cart, and ooh and ahh over the goodies we really shouldn’t be buying. Every now and then she’ll send me out solo with a list, but generally she keeps our pantry and larder as full as possible given the restrictions of our budget. If there ever was a reason that I had to take on the task full time I’m sure I’d adapt in short order, but I don’t know if I’d ever be as efficient at it as Anne is.

4. PlayStation thumb. When they’re relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you’re assuredly missing out on life.

I play a good amount of video games myself, but I don’t have any callouses from it. I have had sore legs from sitting too long at a LAN party though. This is one of those annoying subjective statements that always bug me. If someone is happy with what they’re doing then how can you claim they’re missing out on life? It’s entirely possible they may not enjoy any of the activities that the author, Steve Calechman, thinks would make for a more fulfilling life. I always find it difficult to tell people who are happy that they aren’t living life to the fullest. Miserable people are a different story.

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don’t know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.

Not being a beer drinker I’ve not held a bottle that needed a bottle opener in probably 25 years and that’s the only reason I don’t have a bottle opener on my key chain. As for using impromptu bottle openers as a sign of being a “grown man”, I’ve always thought that was for people who didn’t have the brains to have a bottle opener handy when they needed one.

6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he’ll be.

That’s sure to be a motivational poster in the near future. I’ve never had a “lucky shirt” as I’ve never been particularly superstitious, but I’ve had shirts that I wore the living hell out of because they were the most comfortable ones in my wardrobe. Of all the superstitions one could have, this one is arguably rather harmless.

7. An unstamped passport.

Oh my. I’m in deep trouble. I don’t even own a passport. The only foreign country I’ve ever been to is Canada and in most Michigander’s books that doesn’t really count. I’ve not been since the laws changed that now you need a passport to go to Canada and that may eventually make me get one, but seeing as I don’t anticipate having the time or money to take a proper vacation to someplace outside the country anytime soon it’ll probably be awhile before I can be considered a True Grown Man.

8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.

I’m way ahead of the game on this one. I’ve never had Olympic dreams.

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.

I find this one funny for a couple of reasons. First, I rarely have any cash money in my wallet. I carry it in my front right pocket. I don’t carry money in my wallet for the same reason I don’t make my bed. I’m just going to pull it back out (mess it up) again in short order so what’s the point. My wallet carries my IDs and my plastic money (debit card) and a few random bits and bobs like insurance cards.

Secondly, since the advent of the debit card it’s actually somewhat rare that I have any cash money on me at all. At my last job I’d pull out $20 at the start of the week for use on vending machines (snacks, drinks, etc.) and that’s only because Michigan doesn’t seem to have any of those cool vending machines that’ll accept debit cards that other states have. At my current job the snacks and drinks are provided gratis so I’ve got even less reason to have cash on hand. At the moment I have $53 in my pocket because over the last weekend we renewed our membership at CostCo and my mother-in-law, who has a card based off our membership, paid me back combined with a few of the bucks left over from when I was paying for snacks at the old job some three weeks ago.

Lastly I don’t have any business cards. The last couple of jobs I’ve held, including this one, don’t provide any.

10. A name for his penis. Even if it’s a really clever name.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a name for my penis. I’ve jokingly referred to it using common euphemisms everyone knows such as “Big Jim and the Twins” or “One Eyed Willy”, but I’ve never taken the time to give it an official name. Unless you count “Dick”, though I always say that word using a small “d” so it’s not really a proper name.

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.

I don’t drink beer at all. Where’s that put me?

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else’s lines reminds people that you haven’t the wit to write your own.

Sorry, but you can have my beloved movie quotes when you can pry them from my cold, dead mouth. If being grownup means I’m not allowed to toss out an appropriate movie reference on a whim then I’ll stay a Toys Backwards-R Us kid.

13. A futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, “Take me on your futon.”

I have a futon, but it is used as a couch that can be made into a bed for guests because I have a bed. Though to be honest I’ve never heard a woman say, “Take me on your bed” or any other piece of furniture I had on hand at the time. I don’t think most women are turned on by the idea of having sex on a particular type of furniture. I’m sure a good portion of them would prefer a comfy bed over a futon for sex, but in the heat of the moment quite often any old place you can manage the act will do.

14. Code words for ugly women. Actually, code words for anything.

I’m trying to think if I’ve ever had code words for anything. Short of playing Secret Agent Man when I was 12, I can’t think of a time when I used code words for anything.

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else’s office.

I’ve never had a Nerf hoop, but then I’ve never considered myself much of a basketball player. I did have anime wall scrolls in my living room for awhile in the apartment in Canton. I’ll assume that’s just as bad as a Nerf hoop.

16. A secret handshake.

Those men at the Elk’s Club are going to be pissed. This is something else I’ve never taken the time to invent or learn.

17. Drinking glasses with logos. Especially those kitschy McDonald’s Hamburglar ones.

If it holds liquid refreshment I’m not particularly choosy about what is on the glass. I grew up with a decor that my mother referred to as “early orange crate” and perhaps it’s a sign of my redneck heritage, but I’ve never had a problem with that. Matching glasses are nice and all and I try to have a set on hand for special occasions, but for day to day living I’m just fine with those kitschy McDonald’s Hamburglar glasses.

18. A recent story with the phrase “So I said to the cop…”

Another thing I’ve never had. My brushes with the law are few and very far between. They consist of the occasional auto accident—most of them someone else’s fault—and less than four speeding tickets in my entire driving career. I’ve never been arrested for anything. Probably because I’ve been too busy playing video games. No doubt Mr. Calechman would point to my lack of police interaction as a sign that I have no life.

So there you have it. Based on this scale I probably should turn in my Grown Man Club Card. Now if I can just remember where I put it.

There’s a very good entry over at SEB regular KPatrickGlover’s blog titled We Are Freaks. It’s about how those of us who spend way more time than we probably should on the Internet have all these inside jokes and memes we’ve been exposed to that the vast majority of people in the world haven’t:

Try this little experiment. Pick a public place, a grocery store, a bar, maybe a mall. Stand there with a clip board and ask random strangers what their favorite lolcat is. Ask them if they know that longcat is looonnnggg. See if they know who Anonymous is locked in battle against.

We have this weird disconnect with the world these days. The internet has provided us with such a detailed method of social interaction and we have formed amazing communities around it. Places where we interact with hundreds, even thousands of people. We spend so much time there, that it’s easy to forget that most of the people around us in real life, well, don’t.

And when we start saying things like “Jesus Christ, it’s a lion, get in the car”, they just sort of stare at us blankly. It’s a situation I’ve become adjusted to and even enjoy. I like those blank stares. I like being in on the joke, no matter how stupid the joke may be.

I’d never really sat down and thought about this before, but it’s definitely true because I’m often trying to explain to other people why something stupid I just said is actually really, really funny. Often it’s my Mom who has the typical reaction of shaking her head at me and deciding it’s not worth asking for a better explanation. My wife, while not as well versed as I am, is immersed enough in Internet and gaming culture because of her association with me that she’ll often toss out a meme or joke just as readily only to have me be the only person in the room who picks up on it. At which point we try explaining it, usually to my Mom, who shakes her head at both of us and tries to be satisfied that at least we’re a happy, if somewhat deranged, couple. Even so my mom and, oddly enough, my dad are both immersed enough to at least know what LOLCats are. Hell, my dad actually reads Cute Overload regularly and shares what he finds with me.

There’s so much of that stuff on the Net, though, that it can be difficult keeping up. In the examples given above by KPG I was already familiar with LOLCats, Long Cats, and who the hell Anonymous are (is?), but I wasn’t particularly familiar with “Jesus Christ, it’s a lion, get in the car!” So I did what I do when I need to edumacate myself and Googled it. Turns out its likely origins is with a LOLCat picture, one that I’ve actually seen before and forgot about. It’s also said that it’s what is known as a Rogue Punchline, which is a form of humor I’ve practiced for years without ever even realizing it. I ended up spending a half hour going through various Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia articles learning about the various types of memes and jokes to be found on the Net. Many I am already familiar with, but there were more than a few I wasn’t.

The appeal, for me anyway, is the subversive nature of that kind of humor. The first time you use it around someone they’ll look at you like you’re an idiot, but if you continue to use it repeatedly around said person they’ll slowly start to understand it and find it actually funny. One of the people I worked with at the job I just quit was a fellow by the name of Nate who is a walking treasure trove of memes and jokes of this sort. I knew I had found a fellow Internet Geek when one day he tossed out the classic: My Pokemons, let me show you them, which is easily modified to “My X, let me show you them” where you replace X with whatever the hell you want to show someone.  He would use these jokes with wild abandon in his conversations and half the time I was the only person giggling his ass off over them. Which just goes back to what KPG was saying in his entry. It was kind of fun being one of the few people in the group to know what the hell Nate was prattling on about and I reciprocated in kind probably just as often.

Having gotten this far into this entry I suddenly realize that I don’t really have a point to all of this other than to give KPG some link-loving for helping me with another paradigm shift. Chalk it up to having gotten up way too early this morning without actually firing up the brain first.

Elfninosmom over at Adventures In Frickintardistan tagged me with the following meme:

List 5 things you still do, that you did when you were a baby/little kid.

Hmmm. That’s a tough one in part because I don’t remember a whole lot of my days as a baby or little kid. You’d probably be better off asking my mother about that, but here’s the best I could come up with:

1. I still like to fly kites. I don’t do it as often as I’d like and the last kite I tried to fly, a wicked cool pirate ship, never got off the ground, but every now and then I’ll haul out a kite and try to give myself a heart attack running around with it. It’s one of the few forms of exercise I get these days.
2. I still collect toys. Again not as much as I did when I was a kid, but I still have a few around including some figures from Doctor Who such as the Tenth Doctor (gift from Hairboy), sonic screwdriver flashlight and ink pens, and a remote controlled Dalek.
3. I still hate spinach. ‘Nuf said.
4. I still like to write short stories. The creativity doesn’t flow as often as it used to, but these days the comprehensibility of the stories is greatly improved. There’s at least two short stories buried in the archives. I’m kicking around some ideas for a new one.
5. I still sing along with the radio in the car. Loudly and with enthusiasm. Though I tend to tone it down when the wife and kid are in the car so as to spare them my lack of singing ability. It’s one of the simple things in life that makes me happy. As a kid I’d sing along with the radio all the time which occasionally got on my poor Dad’s nerves.

That’s the best I can come up with at the moment. I’m supposed to tag five other people, but I’m much like ***Dave in that I’ll leave it up to you guys if you want to participate. Chime in on your own blog or leave your list here in the comments if you’re so inclined.

I have no real idea what, if anything, this says about me, but what the hell…

   

Your Score: Linear B

   

You scored

   

   

    You are Linear B. Even those who can follow you think you’re all Greek to them. Which, after all, is true - Linear B being the first known text for written Greek. To most people, you’re incomprehensible. But what do you care? You’re tough, hard, long-enduring and have greater nobility than most. Naturally, you don’t admit to borrowing extensively from your brother Linear A.    

Found via my buddy Hairboy.

Answering the questions as honestly as I could I ended up getting…

I am: Frank Herbert His style is often stilted, but he created what some consider the greatest SF novel of all time.

... whom at first thought I didn’t think I’d ever heard of before. Then it occurred to me that he wrote the Dune books, which have never been anything that particularly interested me enough to read. I’ve seen the movies based on the books and I didn’t care for them. I was hoping for someone more along the lines of William Gibson, but oh well.

Via DOF.

This one has been bouncing around on various sites so I figured I’d do it:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I loves me some egg nog, though I will settle for hot chocolate if there’s no nog to be found. I’m not picky about the type of egg nog either as I’ll drink the derivatives such as McDonald’s egg nog shakes or the egg nog flavored coffee creamer that’s out there in addition to the various types of real egg nog.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Depends on how big and bulky it is. Traditionally in my family stretching from when I was a kid the presents from Santa were wrapped just like all the rest with a tag on it telling you it was from Santa. The exceptions to this rule were things like the Montgomery Wards (anyone else still remember that department store?) minibike I got for Christmas one year. It would’ve been a bitch for Santa to wrap so it was just left next to the tree.
3. Colored lights or white on tree/house? I tend to prefer colored lights in general, and multi-colored in particular, on the Christmas tree. And I much prefer using the old C7 style bulbs over the miniature lights that have become the most popular, though I did pick up a wicked cool set of LED Christmas lights that look like the old C6 bulbs. For the house I’m much more flexible, though I still prefer at least colored lights. I will use miniature lights to decorate around windows and such on a house.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Usually, though being with the in-laws at the moment it’s really up to them and I haven’t seen any to put up yet.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually shortly after Thanksgiving, though I’d probably put them up before Thanksgiving if the family would let me. First year I was in my apartment I left my Christmas tree up all year long. Anne made me promise I’d never do that again.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Honeybaked Ham. Turkey is for Thanksgiving, Ham is for Yuletide.
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? I have so many to choose from. Getting the aforementioned minibike is a big one. I never in a million years would’ve thought that would happen.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I can remember talking about it with my mother at one point, but I’m not sure at what age that was. I think we were riding in the car at the time. I recall being mildly disappointed, but not surprised as I think I knew the truth before I even asked the question. Then as an adult I developed a new understanding of the truth that I hadn’t considered as a child.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? As kids my family never opened gifts or a gift on Christmas Eve unless it was something we got while visiting a relative and they wanted to see our reaction to it. As adults my parents started holding their Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve so us kids could be home on Christmas morning with our own children so these days on my side of the family we open some gifts while visiting with my parents and the rest (including those from my in-laws) are opened Christmas Day. I guess that means we have two Christmases in our family.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? If it’s up to me then it’s with three strings of the old-school C7 bulbs. I prefer to get the clear colored versions and I’ll buy several boxes of clear “twinkle” bulbs that I use to replace some of the lights in the three strings so each string is a mixture of steady and twinkle lights. Next I usually like to string tinsel garland around the tree, but we didn’t manage to do that the last couple of years we were in Canton. Then the ornaments which consists of quite the hodgepodge collected over the years. And finally, if given the opportunity, I like to top the tree off with tinsel icicles, though that part is optional. I have pictures of our tree from the last Christmas we were in the apartment here and here.
11. Snow, love it or dread it? I wouldn’t live in Michigan if I had a problem with it, though it’s been in short supply for several Christmases now. Last year we had a good amount over the holiday, but so far this year we’ve barely had a dusting to date. Once we get into February my love of snow diminishes quite a bit, but for the first month or so I’m quite content with it and I love to have plenty of it on Christmas morning.
12. Do you know how to ice skate? I used to. Haven’t done it since I was a little kid, though, so I’d probably break my ankle if I were to try it today.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I remember most of them. I have too many to choose just one. One recent one that I recall is getting a new version of the Doctor Who scarf my mother originally made for me when I was a teenager. You can see a picture of the new version here.
14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? The fact that it’s one of the few times in the year the whole family is in one place and enjoying themselves. We could use more days like that.
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? I’ll be boring and say it’s Pecan Pie. Though I’ve always wanted to try a Yule Log cake a.k.a. a Bûche de Noël.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? We don’t have a lot of fixed traditions other than getting together, giving gifts, opening gifts, and then eating until we can’t move. Beyond that I’d say putting up the tree and the lights is probably my favorite tradition.
17. What tops your tree? I tend to prefer a nice lighted star (see pictures above) or snowflake, though as a kid visiting Bronner’s one year in Frankenmuth I recall seeing this wonderfully tacky tree topper that consisted of a Santa that held a long wire that suspended a sleigh and reindeer around the upper middle part of the tree that spun so the sleigh looked like it was flying around the tree. Though I imagine getting whacked in the head a couple of times when trying to get presents from under the tree would quickly reduce the novelty of the decoration. I’ve never seen anything like it since. Wait, that’s not entirely true. A couple years back I seem to recall Angel tree toppers that were motorized so they’d flap their wings and “fly” up off the top of the tree a little bit thanks to a rod shoved up their ass that the motor would make them climb up and down. It was kind of cute until I saw one in the store that was obviously having mechanical problems. Then it looked like an angel trying desperately to get a stick out of its ass and failing miserably as it slowly stuttered and shook as it flew up only to settle back down on that rod once again.
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I love to give presents. Especially when it’s something I’m pretty sure the recipient is going to like. I like getting presents as well, but I really get the most enjoyment out of giving them. I’m most upset when I don’t have enough resources to give gifts to everyone I want to at Christmas.
19. Favorite Christmas Song? Carol of the Bells in any of a dozen different variations. I’m particularly fond of versions by Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Barenaked Ladies, and Mannheim Steamroller.
20. Favorite flavor of Candy Canes? I’m a traditionalist when it comes to candy canes. Peppermint is just fine.

Stole this one from Neil’s World.

I’ve not done a meme in awhile so let’s do one for the hell of it. This is one of those “Have you ever…?” memes stolen from Bouder Dude:

1. Taken a picture completely naked? Of myself? No. Of some other people? Yes.
2. Danced in front of a mirror naked? Yes, when I was younger and more attractive.
3. Told a lie? I’d be lieing if I said no.
4. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Absolutely. For the longest time in my youth that was pretty much the norm for me.
5. Been arrested? Not a once. I’m kind of boring that way.
6. Seen someone die? Yes. It wasn’t anybody I knew, but it was still deeply affecting at the time.
7. Kissed a picture? Yep, though I can’t recall who it was anymore.
8. Slept in until 5pm? As BD points out, this one is kinda vague. If you mean going to bed at my normal time and sleeping until 5PM then, no, I’ve never done that. I have worked nights, though, that meant me sleeping during the day until 5PM and I’ve had all-night adventures that resulted in my sleeping until 5PM. So, maybe?
9. Had sex at work (on the clock)? I’ve never had sex at work nor while I was on the clock. Though I have had sex in places of work (but not my own work place).
10. Fallen asleep at work/school? It’s rare, but it has happened. School, mostly though there’s been one or two times I’ve dozed off at work.
11. Held a snake? Countless times. Garter snakes mostly.
12. Ran a red light? On the odd occasion, but never intentionally.
13. Been suspended from school? I got suspended a couple of times in my school years. Usually after getting into a fistfight I didn’t want to be in to begin with.
14. Pole danced? Never had a pole to dance with/on, so no.
15. Been fired from a job? Yep. Was fired from a Kmarts once when I was 17 because I told a manager that I didn’t know much about the TV sets they sold. That was the only real “firing” I’ve ever experienced, though I’ve had plenty of contracts come to an end and was layed off for awhile not too long ago.
16. Sang karaoke? Officially? No. But if you count singing along in the car without having touched a drop of booze, then it’d be all the time.
17. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Who hasn’t? That’s just part of being human.
18. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? More times than I care to recall. Ow.
19. Laughed until you peed? I’ve never pissed myself from laughing, though I have had to rush to the bathroom after a good laughing fit.
20. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yep. Another common childhood activity in the winter for me. Probably got all manner of polution into my system from doing that.
21. Kissed in the rain? Yeah, but it never struck me as a particularly romantic/sexy thing to do.
22. Had sex in the rain? No, but I have had sex outside before.
23. Sang in the shower? I might have, but I don’t think so. I generally sing along with music that’s already playing and I don’t have a shower radio.
24. Gave your private parts a nickname? Officially, no, but I will refer to them using various common cliches (e.g. Big Jim and the twins) as a joke.
25. Ever gone to school/work without underwear? Yes, but only when I had no other choice. I’m not much for “going commando” as it’s just not comfortable.
26. Sat on a roof top? Quite a bit in my youth, not so much now that I’m older and fatter.
27. Played chicken? Yes, but not with cars or anything like that.
28. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Pushed? Hell, I jumped. Though I was once chased into a pool by a dog.
29. Broken a bone? Yep, technically I’ve broken my neck, but it’s not as serious as it sounds. I’m pretty sure I’ve broken a toe or two over the years from stubbing them into furniture. Never broken an arm or leg, though.
30. Flashed someone? Yeah, but only cause she asked me to.
31. Mooned someone? Nope.
32. Shaved your head? Not until I got into my 30s and now it’s common practice for me.
33. Slept naked? Yes, starting in my late teen-aged years.
34. Blacked out from drinking? Nope. I’m not a big drinker. Only been drunk a few times in my life and only got sick from it once.
35. Played a prank on someone? Yep. I used to be quite the prankster. Not so much these days.
36. Had a gym membership? No, though I have been meaning to.
37. Felt like killing someone? There’s been a few people over the years that I felt like killing, but I’d never come close to acutally acting on such thoughts.
38. Cried over someone you were in love with? Again, who hasn’t?
39. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? I think I got some as a gift once even though I’d never asked for them. I remember being disappointed in that the ones I got must have been faulty as they never so much as shook let alone jump.
40. Been in a band? Nope. Though I used to play violin in the school orchestra.
41. Shot a gun? Yep. My grandfather taught me to shoot.
42. Shot a bow and arrow? Yes. Or at least I tried to. Wasn’t ever very good at it.
43. Played strip poker? Yes. Back when I was young and had a few women around who thought I was cute enough (and fit enough) to want to see naked.
44. Donated Blood? Many times, though it’s been awhile. I probably should make a point of it again soon.
45. Ever jump out of an airplane? Never felt the need to.
46. Been to more than 10 countries? Nope. The only other country I’ve ever been to is Canada and, growing up in the Detroit area, that doesn’t really count in my mind. I’ve wanted to visit the U.K., Japan, and several other places, but have never had the time/money to do it.

Um… OK. I suppose.

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly… you’re also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. “Super. Duper. Flooper.”

Via ***Dave whose result is equally bizzare.

This is the week you’ve been waiting for! Or not! De-lurking week! Last year we just had a measly 24 hours, and if you were stuck in a meeting, or your server crashed, or you live on the other side of the world, you missed it (booo). Plus your fingers may have become numb from all the typing you tried to cram in 24 hours. So this year we’re giving you a whole week to come out of the closet (so to speak).

Many of you made resolutions last week to lose weight, or quit smoking, or stop beating your children (oops, maybe that was just me), and I just read a Psychology Today article which notes a direct correlation between weight loss, and commenting on your favorite blogs, so leave a comment because it will make you skinny. Not that you’re fat, because you’re not!! So tell me how long you’ve been reading my blog, or your favorite book, or the first word that pops into your mind when you hear the word shish-kabob, and remember, if you don’t leave a comment, you’re letting the terrorists win.

So say something, dammit!

Via my pretend web girlfriend and the fine folks at Paper Napkin who thought it up.

Yep, another one of those silly What X are YOU quizes. This one harkens back to a favorite activity of my teenaged years. The results are in line with one of my favorite roles to play in the past.

I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Ranger Thief

Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered ‘normal’.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Thieves are the most roguish of the classes. They are sneaky and nimble-fingered, and have skills with traps and locks. While not all use these skills for burglary, that is a common occupation of this class.

Deity:
Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they are quite skilled at. Mielikki’s symbol is a unicorn head.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)

Found over at Solonor’s blog.