A woman by the name of Charlotte Thompson of Indianapolis is driving along with her two great-granddaughters in the car when shots ring out and a stray bullet rips through the car. The rogue missile ends up wounding one of the two girls in the backseat. You know what happens next, right?

Yes, the woman claims its a miracle from God:

Police later showed Thompson the path the bullet took through her car. She now believes that path was guided by God.

“Came through the door, hit her, then it went to the Bible,” she said. The Bible was sitting on the seat between the two girls. “It went in here and come out here and it shredded my Sunday School book. The word of God slowed the bullet so that it didn’t kill anybody.”

A watermelon Jaelyn was holding in her lap eventually stopped the bullet.

“Right in the watermelon. Didn’t come out of the watermelon,” Thompson said. “The word of God and the Lord’s power saved. He sent the bullet into the watermelon.”

This would’ve been more impressive if the bullet hadn’t hit the younger of the two girls prior to the Bible and the watermelon. It’d be particularly impressive if the path of the bullet showed that there was no way it couldn’t have not hit the first girl before hitting the Bible and the watermelon, but now I’m left to wonder what the first girl did to piss off God. I can see the conversation in Heaven now:

Guardian Angel Captain: God! God! We’ve got an emergency broadcast coming in from Charlotte Thompson’s Guardian Angel, Shirley, in Indianapolis. She says some random gunfire in a neighborhood is about to hit the car Charlotte is driving with her two great-granddaughters in it. What do we do?

God: Does she have a Bible and a watermelon in the car?

GAC: Yes! Yes she does!

God: Yeah, I knew that. Good. I want you to have the bullet moved so it hits the Bible and then the watermelon and then stop thus showing how awesome I am.

GAC: There’s a problem, one of the girls is still directly in the path of the bullet. That would require a major miracle as opposed to a minor one.

God: What’s the girl’s name?

GAC: Shyann.

God: Yeah. I knew that. As I recall she put up quite a fuss about going to Church last Sunday and she hasn’t said her prayers before bed the last couple of nights. Fuck it, let it hit her and do some minor damage as a lesson not to cross me.

GAC: Yes my Lord! Right away!

The poor girl is expected to survive the wound, but may carry some psychological scars from the event:

However, she now worries about the emotional scars the girls will carry with them.

“It took away her innocence,” she said of Shyann. “You know, she trusted everybody. Now she trusts nothing and nobody.”

Huh, you’d think God would’ve protected her from something like that.