True Believers™ out to Christianize everything they can.

Posted by Les on Friday, March 23, 2007 at 03:19 AM. Read 3871 times. Tags: , ,
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There’s this niche of Christians out there who seem to have this overwhelming need to take a popular idea and try to Christianize it. Take MySpace.com for example. Throw a little Jesus in it and mix on the high setting and you get HisHolySpace.com:

HisHolySpace.com is an online Christian Community that is structured on the Core Essential Doctrines of Christianity. The Bible itself reveals those doctrines that are essential to the Christian faith. They are as follows: (1) the Deity of Christ (2) Salvation by Grace (3) Resurrection of Christ, and (4) the gospel. These are the doctrines the Bible says are necessary. Though there are many other important doctrines, these four are the only ones that are declared by Scripture to be essential. A non-regenerate person, or a false religion, will deny one or more of these essential doctrines.

HisHolySpace.com separates itself from other online religious community sites, by only allowing those religions that follow these Core Christian Essentials, to be promoted on the site. Anyone from any religion is welcome to join HisHolySpace.com. But if your religion and/or your beliefs fall outside the realm of the above-mentioned Core Essentials, and it is your intention to promote your religion and/or beliefs on HHS, you may be in violation of the site rules, which could result in the cancelation of your membership. The main goal for this site is to glorify God, through Christians being able to pray, encourage, fellowship, and grow with one another. If you wish to learn and understand what orthodox Christianity teaches, and are willing to follow the rules that are set in place for HHS members, including not promoting any other faith that does not adhere to the above-mentioned Doctrines, then you are welcome here.

Note: I broke that into two paragraphs to make it a bit easier to read. I find the bit about people of other faiths being welcome so long as they don’t actually, you know, talk about that other faith on their accounts to be rather amusing. Beyond that it looks pretty much what you’d expect of a clone of an already poorly designed social networking site. It’s almost as though they just took the HTML from the MySpace templates and Christianized the text. Which is exactly what The Friendly Atheist also noticed:

Some other amusing elements here: When browsing for someone, you can’t search for Single/Married/In a Relationship/Divorced/Swinger like you can on MySpace.  Nope.  But you can search for Believers/Seekers/Either.

Good luck meeting the gay Christians.

And say goodbye to hookups.

On the profile pages, there are also many differences between the two sites.

MySpace Says…HisHolySpace Says…
Add to FriendsAdd to Congregation
Instant MessageNo Gossip IM
Add to GroupAdd to Small Group
Add to FavoritesSave Me
Block UserCondemn Me
Rank UserJudge Me

All with just a wave of the Magic Jesus Wand.

Then there’s GodTube.com. See if you can guess what ultra-popular video sharing site that’s a rip off of based on.

GodTube utilizes Web based technology to connect Christians for the purpose of encouraging and advancing the Gospel worldwide.

Interestingly enough the users of GodTube.com seem to share the same penchant for using copyrighted material as normal YouTubers as I noticed more than one bit of video that featured clips from various pro-Christian films such as The Passion of the Christ. Which isn’t to say that there’s no entertainment to be found there. There’s this hilariously bad parody that attempts to Christianize the classic rap song Baby Got Back — a song about women with big asses — titled Baby Got Bible:

Which is, of course, another example of this subsection of Christian society that feels the need to usurp anything that’s popular and try to sanitize it into promoting Christianity.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by this as they’ve been doing this sort of thing for centuries now. After all, that’s how the major holidays came to be. Take a popular pagan festival, wave the Magic Jesus Wand over it replacing the pagan icons with proper Christian versions, toss a handful of rituals that pale in comparison to their pagan counterparts into the mix, and then threaten to kill anyone who insists on sticking with the old bad version of the holiday. Of course since they stopped the whole adopt-our-improved-version-or-we’ll-kill-you part of the strategy they’ve had much less success in getting their Christianized versions of popular things adopted by the majority of the people, but that setback hasn’t slowed down their attempts to sanitize the world for your protection.

Whether you want them to or not.

Comments:

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Bahamat Great Britain (UK) Posted on 03/25/2007 at 05:55 PM

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yuyis - Gays can’t reproduce but that doesn’t make it wrong, ask yourself who exactly are gay couples harming, or quite frankly why anyone (god included) should give a damn about their sexuality. In my view something is only wrong if it harms someone. The reason to put a male with a female would be for breeding, not morality.

yuyis: only the brave shall conquer the kingdom of heaven…

Brave = Reckless
One’s regarded as a compliment, one’s regarded as an insult and yet they both mean exactly the same

yuyis: but do it NOW dat ur alive.. when u got a chance

It would be a little unfair of god to give people no choice but to exist, then force them to live life regimentally in an arbitary way or else face eternal damnation, and give no warning as to how long they have to make the change. If god was such a judgemental asshat, fuck him.

mookie: i do keep all the laws

Why take it at face value? The bible has had many oppertunities for alteration by it’s writers and translators, so ask why god might want you to keep to a law. It wouldn’t be beyond human logic because anyone laying down the rules would know that people won’t do/not do things for the right reason if they don’t know why, and that the reason is the motivator for doing it for many people.

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You don’t need to end all existence to end all suffering

Last_Hussar Great Britain (UK) Posted on 03/25/2007 at 09:05 PM

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whether or not i keep all the leviticus laws is not the subject at hand.

Actually you walking collection of poorly formed literacy it is. You are the one who started yelling the odds on homosexuality being against Leviticus.

so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws

Really? All of them? Including the obscure ones on shaving, and the ones on mixed fibres?  Have you actually read Leviticus. Laws fine for a small nomadic desert tribe, but completely nonsensical for the 20th Century West.  Is stoning children to death for rudeness acceptable?

i can only assume that Last_Hussar and KPatrickGlover are english teachers

2+2=5.  I assume only mathematicians are allowed to correct me in the mookiverse. I don’t have to be a psychologist to know what ever you’ve got it’s hard to spell.  Oh- I’m not, but wouldn’t mind if I was.

Question for all the fundies out there. Are any parts of the bible not literally true?

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I’d rather be liberal than illiberal.
I’d rather be progressive than conservative.

Last_Hussar Great Britain (UK) Posted on 03/25/2007 at 09:07 PM

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yuyis- I can’t reproduce. Can I stil lhave sex for pleasure with my wife? (Go on LJ say it- “She says no")

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I’d rather be liberal than illiberal.
I’d rather be progressive than conservative.

mookie United States Posted on 03/25/2007 at 10:31 PM

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Last_Hussar and TAFKA Buzz...i believe i said LEVITICUS CHAPTER 18. we ARE dicussing gay christians right? homosexuality goes against leviticus and romans. because of the fact that leviticus is in the old testament, there are a lot of odd laws. some people dont believe that the laws in the old testament are meant for people today. thats why it was also discussed in the new testament. LuckyJohn19, i love all homosexuals. i love them enough to show them the truth. and to that so-called “Sexy” Sadie...i said teacher NOT major...thanks for trying though.
you all have the right to say what you want. and i see youve all taken advantage of your right to be wrong. i have no problem with you disputing anything i say. it makes for a good, healthy discussion. (and i dont have to use inappropriate language to get my point across)

Brock United States Posted on 03/26/2007 at 01:07 AM

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Mookie Said: after reading the entire 18th chapter of leviticus, one would notice that all these laws are intended for men (execept the one about beastiality), so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws. do u????

I wonder about you now, Mookie, if you think that bestiality prohibitions (according to the Bible) are only intended for women. It sounds pretty suspicious that you immediately follow “one would notice that all these laws are intended for men (except the one about beastiality)” (sic) with “so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws”.

Do you have a significant otter you’re not telling us about?

i love all homosexuals. i love them enough to show them the truth.

Please! Keep Mr. “Truth” in your pants, dude. Your idea of “love” is dangerous. We don’t need your tainted love and we don’t need your moronic remarks. Go save the whales or something.

“And you think love is to pray
But I’m sorry I don’t pray that way”

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“At six I was left an orphan.  What the hell is a six year old supposed to do with an orphan?”
Unknown

LuckyJohn19 Australia Posted on 03/26/2007 at 03:47 AM

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LH: Go on LJ say it - “She says no”

Actually “until she says no or the wet spot becomes too annoyingly sticky.”

Nookie: we ARE dicussing gay christians right?

At top of this page are the words ‘True Believers™ out to Christianize everything they can.’
I think that makes you fairly well wrong, sunshine ... but you are still one of god’s special little people. Don’t be sad. You just keep dicussing gay xians.
Let us take a break for a tickond; I have to know. Is “dicussing” the latest fad or some special sort of xian cussing (in Oz we call it swearing or cursing) with a definition listed somewhere in Conservapedia or am I off the mark in a big way?

i believe i said LEVITICUS CHAPTER 18.

You may have said that but most of us here are all-or-nothing type people unlike you cherry-picking fundies.
Be strong! Your bauble is either all literally true for you or it is not – do not be doing the ‘this bit is true and this bit is not - this bit is true and this bit is not’ spin and dance trick.
Smoke and mirrors, mirages and invisible deities don’t really do it for most of us here – we have chosen to become un-enslaved from childish delusions.

i love them enough to show them the truth.

I love the way you fundies talk about The Truth as though there is only one and you have it.
Could I venture out onto the tip of a philosophical branch and suggest any truth is the truth to someone, or even, everyone’s truth is true for them.

But Nookie, I understand your thrall and after all is said and done, why wouldn’t you defend whatever delusion you think is keeping you safe this year?
By the way, I am aware there’s good money to be made from the xian scam if you can keep a straight face. 

Go save the whales or something.

I think the whales are abso-fucking-lutely sick of Jonah and his moronic mates wailing about The Truth, Brock.  LOL

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I’ve discovered that it all boils down to brain wiring: your brain is wired to worship magic or it isn’t, either it’s wired to utilize logic or it isn’t, either it’s analytical of myths or it isn’t.

Les United States Posted on 03/26/2007 at 09:53 AM

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Mookie writes…

(and i dont have to use inappropriate language to get my point across)

Eh, fuck you.

Gets the point across in a much more succinct manner if you ask me.

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All I know is the wine lasts longer when you don’t gotta share it with someone
All I know is my steak tastes better when I take my steak tastes better pill
-- I Feel Fantastic, Jonathan Coulton

Last_Hussar Great Britain (UK) Posted on 03/26/2007 at 08:41 PM

Last_Hussar pic

Fuck is such an expressive word. If you say ‘Fuck Off’ to a non Anglophone, they know exactly what you mean.

Anyway…

Spookie
Surely you have to take all of Leviticus, or none of it. How do you pick and choose which bits to take?

In Romans Paul is not acting as a prophet in the same way as Leviticus did- he is not passing on a revealed truth.  Instead he is giving his opinion.  That opinion IS solidly based in biblical law, I grant you, but it is based on the Bible, not a revelation.  Paul is therefore what is known as a secondary source.  He is basing his belief system on Jewish law.

No Christian on this site has ever been able to tell me where in the NT it makes clear which laws we can safely ignore (mixed fibre clothes) and which we have to keep (homosexuality) Virtually all the laws we kept (and are shared by cultures around the world) are those where there is a victim- Murder etc. Homosexuality stands out as one of a only a few ‘moral crimes’ where there is no victim. Who is actually hurt by same sex relationships?

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I’d rather be liberal than illiberal.
I’d rather be progressive than conservative.

Kit Canada Posted on 04/07/2007 at 06:53 PM

Kit pic

IF IT DOESNT BURN YOUR HANDS TO TOUCH A BIBLE, TRY READING ROMANS 1:24-27.

Well I used to get hit over the head with Bibles in my Chinese school as well as use them as building blocks, but they never burned me =O

And I think someone doesn’t know what hypocrite means.

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