The name of the king is, apparently, “Fu”.

I think when Allen Smithy is too embarrassed to have his name on a movie, he uses “Uwe Boll”.

How, and I mean HOW in the hell does Uwe Boll keep getting work?  Is it blackmail?  Some weird conspiracy?  That I would believe: an insidious cabal of centenarian Nazis finance Boll’s films in an effort to make Americans dumber…

I’ve fantasized about directing a movie.  I never have, have taken no classes, and yet I feel I could do a better job than Boll.  Hey, Hollywood, I’d be happy to direct whatever film he would next on half of what you are paying him.  So how about it?

Check out the Uwe Boll entry on Wikipedia for an explanation of his, uh, endeavors. He runs his own production company that takes advantage of a massive tax benefit for movies made in Germany. How he gets actual name actors to appear in these turds is beyond me - his budget for movies is typically only in the 10 million dollar range.

did

The trailer begins allright, you start to almost think ‘hmm maybe this won’t be so bad’ and then it skids off the road of credibility,smashes through the crash barriers of disbelief, and tumbles headlong into the ravine of dire shite.

There’s an online petition with over 8000 signatures here. http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

Some of the comments are priceless, such as ‘stop, think of the children!’.

Oh man, I think I just shot myself in the foot.

I saw the second “Underworld” flick not too long ago and mentioned to my movie crew (all 2 of them) that I plan on seeing the next Uwe Boll movie in theaters just so I can say I did. Oops.

The scary thing is, this might make some money since there’s still something of a market for big budget (or big looking) fantasy films.

We shall see though. The good Dr. Boll has a lousy track record.

The only thing that could do worse would be Uwe Boll doing a remake of “Gigli”

I don’t know if he could make Gigli any worse than it already is. Who knows, the addition of a couple hundred ninjas might make it better.

No doubt part of the reason Boll gets work is because he’s the only one willing to touch what pretty much everyone else knows will result in a massive pile of festering dung.  Besides, someone has to fill the niche long left unfilled by the departure of Cannon Films/Golan and Globus and their cheese.

“Worse than madness...darkness!”

It cracks me up that even the trailers for Boll’s movies look like horrible imitations of trailers for real movies. While many movies do the whole “It was a world...” set-up, only good ol’ Uwe’s then proceed into inanity. In both this trailer and the BloodRayne trailer, it sounds like someone’s just listing random shit.

“In an ancient land… a powerful tale unfolds...A kingdom under seige...A simple farmer...A fearless enemy...A noble King...A Terrifying villain...A time of Magic...A vicious monster...An angry dwarf...An aggressive infection...A pornographic interlude...A man, a Plan, a Canal: Panama...A squared plus B squared equals C squared...”

and so on so on. I also like the completely random capitalization used in the preview. This horse died before the gate even opened. But, as others have noted, the perverse thing about Boll’s movies is that he actually makes money off of them when they flop, probably more than he would if they succeeded. If we want this to stop, someone’s going to have to figure out a way to control ticket sales for his movies such that they don’t lose enough money to be a tax write-off, but don’t make enough that he turns a worthwhile profit off the proceeds.

Also, someone might remind some of his actors that regardless of their B- or C-list status, they can probably afford to pay their own way to whatever comely Eastern European oasis these movies film in, and should stop setting back the progress of all humanity just for a free trip to Bratislava.

Oh, wait. Apparently these movies film in Canada. Well, there goes my theory.

Yeah, I watched the trailer.. even the trailer stinks of really confused ideas of what’s popular. IT starts out like “A dark land” “a war” “some guy” and then it just keeps going - like yes, we can see what’s going on! Tell us about the movie!! For which, of course, the obvious answer is, there’s nothing to explain. What you saw is probably the best of the content in the movie. The less obvious answer is that the guy who did the commercial had no idea what he was doing. Both are reasonable, I think.

Don’t know what to add to this forum
... I just keep popping back here
every now and then to take a peek..!!!
SEB’s face just draws me back here..
are you using hypnotic
scripts by any chance SEB.
.only joshing ...I’ve heard
of hypnotic scripts though
..and subliminal messaging ..!! ha!
I’m sure it’s just you natural
hmmmm… charm !!..as to
why everyone keeps
popping back here to say Hi to you. 

For some strange reason
..I like being here..
who are you people anyway.?????
.and what am I doing here..??
I guess If I don’t know
..then you don’t know either..
Love it though ..!!!

just to chat a minute..
I’m on a forum at the moment
..a huge American treasure
hunters forum ..we are working on a book.
.a quest with a “one million
dollar” prize..called the
“Maranatha”.
.It’s meant to contain a great secret..
..that has been hidden
from the world for a thousand
or more years.
.It is said that this
secret when we have discovered it..
..will change the way
we have viewed religion .
will change our religious
beliefs..and will change the world
..WOW..!! must be some secret eh!!
apparantly the authors already
know of this secret ..and have
put the answer into puzzle form ..
The person who decodes the cryptic clues..get to spread the news of it’s discovery ..

..but of course.. none of us can
crack the darn code.. though
..we are having a good time trying ..!!
what do you think this great
secret could be..
(any psychics out there).
we have already thought
of all the usual things..

cathyxxx