#1:  Mrs. Skeletor questions her minions about why Skeletor came home late last night.
#2:  “Those elves were about this tall and they came and stole all of my underwear!  Can you believe it?”

Photo 1
“So the bastard thinks I’m ‘formidable,’ eh? I’ll show him formidable! I’ll go fucking bite him!”

“I swear to god, if he pulls a State of the Union 2005 again and fucking mentions ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ forty-one times, I’m fucking going to explode.”

“So I got this new outfit and Bill was complaining about how it ‘doesn’t fit me’, and I was like, ‘Who asked you, Mr. I-go-to-McDonald’s-every-morning’-- What is that on your top lip, Sarah?” (sorry, couldn’t resist)

Photo 2

“Okay, okay, so there was a wee bit of a storm in New Orleans last August. Whaddaya blamin’ me for?”

“If ya’ll don’t support me and my wars, then that must mean yer dicks are this big!”

“Seems my approval ratin’ is this high. Well, seems to me you all are terrorists. If ya don’t trust me, yer a terrorist. Y’know, I said if yer not with us, yer against us. And Jesus hates terrorists, pah-raise Jesus!”

#1

Hrm.  Okay, nothing’s coming to mind, except my sympathy for all public figures (bipartisanly).  After all, half the “candids” that folks take of me end up with an expression that’s less than attractive.  Can you imagine having someone training cameras on you whenever you’re out from behind closed doors?  Yikes.

#2

“And this is my Donny Rumsfeld imitation!  There are things I don’t know, and, um, things I know that you don’t know, and the, um ... things ... know.  Things.”

#1 You are stepping on my foot you idiot!!!

#2 It was just a tiny mistake!

Hillary: “Oh, oh, oh yesssssss! Yessssss, I highly reccommend the Vagina Buddy 4000. Oooh oooh, oh yessssssssssssssss!”

Gee Dubya: “I’m crrussshing your head. Crush crush, I’m crushing your head!”

(2) I came this close to passing the fourth grade…

Hillary: I’ll EAT all your perverted video games. Look at me! I already ate a whole stack of CD-Roms!”

Dubbya: Aaaaand now..... who wants another stupid nickname?

Hillary:

I really wanted to be a hollywood actress but when they didn’t give me the role as the brat in the exorcist I went to politics.  Watch how far I can sprew pea soup.. and that brat in the movie.. I can turn my head around 3 times as fast and counterclockwise too !

Big G:

It was only one little ole’ teeny tiny itsy bitsy white lie… really.. honestly, it was really really tiny, just this small.. see !

Hillary: “I’m working on a part in the next Chucky movie”

“When the doc says not to move while he’s giving you a botox injection, he ain’t kidding!”

W: “I only did this much coke that night”

“When you’re elected by this big a margin, you got yourself a mandate from the people!”

Photo#1

..and then I suck really hard like this.

Photo#2

Ya see, when I got IN the pool it was this big…

#1:  Hillary does her “Bilbo turns into a Ring-obsessed troll” imitation.

1.) Oh god I can feel my facelift slipping!

2.) Karl says if I keep using the vacupump(tm) my willy could get THIS BIG!