I like this one better.

“The plain truth is that both the GSA and Gay, Lesbian, Straight Educators Network (GLSEN), the organization that registers GSAs, are part of a vast, interconnected network of Cultural Marxist front groups known collectively as the New Left. For over forty years, the New Left--a collection of Marxists, Stalinists, Trotskyites, Maoists, and anarchist--has been waging a Gramscian style “quiet revolution” for the overthrow of Christianity and America’s Constitution, Rule of Law, sovereignty, and way of life.”

New Left?  Sorta sounds like Neo (New) Conservative (Right) doesn’t it, except ya know, less Marxists and more Fascists I guess.

Anyway, All I want to know is: where the hell is my membership card damnit!  I’ve been paying those damn dues for years now, but haven’t even gotten my card in the mail.  How the heck can I recieve any of my fringe benefits (I assume the invites to the satanic orgies, tax cuts, probably coupons to Taco Bell...) without my membership card!?!

Know what scares Me????
I just looked up His profile and it says He is retired and He hangs out with lil kids???????scares Me

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?

This answer is so beautifully in synch with the normality of fundies. 

Normality? I thought they were the aberrations.

Fundies deny all rhyme and reason even in the face of smoldering, face blackening evidence!

No no no no.
Normalcy as in - Goths are conformists in their non-conformity or …
Normal fundies aspire to accepted levels of intellectual heights.

*GASP* Phew, I’ve come up for air after diving into the logical black hole that is christians arguing.  You should really put a warning for those links:  may cause brain to melt!

For over forty years, the New Left--a collection of Marxists, Stalinists, Trotskyites, Maoists, and anarchist

Finally, why would anyone bother writing ten reasons why Jesus is the only way to god?  If you buy into that stuff, then there should be only one reason.  Jesus is the only way to god because Jesus is the only way to god.

Jesus is the only way to god because Jesus is the only way to god.

Bingo, Master. “No one gets to the Father but by me"- John 16:4

What, by joining a vampiric, canabalistic idol worshiping Jewish cult?

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?

That is priceless. I should use it as a signature.

Does SEB support sigs?

I love Fundies Say the Darndest Things.  Just when you think there’s a bit of rationalism creeping into the American collective conscoiusness, you get wingnuts shaking their voodoo sticks and saying stuff like:

Alas, this is a most sad example of what atheism and non belief in God is doing to america’s youth. Any kid that has the same or similar attitude of the one described by this 13 year old ought to be put to death immediately by the government.”

“If you look back evolution far enough and ask what was the first thing that came into existnce before the atom, they are going to give you a flurry of ‘i dont know’ or basically -dirt. So we are literraly looking at God versus dirt.”

Or this one, which holds a really special place in my heart ... uh ... cerebral cortex:

On the one hand we need to be careful not to allow ourselves to be enslaved to superstition. It is just a board and a piece of plastic. But on the other hand we need to be aware that such devices can be used by demonic spirits to deceive and enslave.”

Did he just say “enslaved to supersition” with a straight face?

I could go on for hours with this stuff.  That’s how I put the FUN back into fundamentalism!

MoP, ExpressionEngine does support signatures, but I’ve not added the code to the comments as of yet mainly because I’ve been meaning to redesign them a bit to look a bit more like a message forum.

It would be trivial for me to add in the coded to allow sigs in the comments, though.

That’s how I put the FUN back into fundamentalism!

“[initially the fundie wrote:]
Go to Boston and go to a church call Church of Christ, scientist they do miracles and is where science Christians that is around!!!
[When asked to clarify what he meant, he responded:]
Oh what im saying is that sometime thinks heal in times it not always come just in 30 sec like you be seeing tv they do happen somtimes for that quik!!”
Call Me anything, Myspace [Comments (29)] [2006-Oct-17]
Submitted by Jesse

See, fundies would know what the fuck this person’s talking - I, on the other hand, have no fucking idea as I have not yet reached the intellectual heights of a fundie.

You guys are killing me I had to find one of my own.  Luckily you need only look about 4 seconds until you run into some entertainment.  How about the computer analogy.  Here Les just for you it’ll all make sense after you read this:

Robert T Lee said:

One principle is that humans must either worship God or they must worship satan (Matthew 6:24). I sometimes refer to this principle as the “Either-Or Principle”.

Its sort of like using a browser on your PC. If you have the two leading browsers, or any number of browsers, one of them *must* serve as you “default browser”. You cannot surf the web using two browsers simultaneously and you cannot do so in the absence of a browser. Even if you could move back and forth from one to the other, one must nevertheless be registered as your default, and the one you choose to be your default will always be your favorite through which you use to surf the web. PCs aren’t capable of browsing the internet in the absence of a browser and without a browser registered as their default.

Thanks guys

I needed the laugh.

Craig

You cannot surf the web using two browsers simultaneously and you cannot do so in the absence of a browser.

Well, I guess this is technically correct as they are saying the web and not the internet (it kills me when people use the two interchangeably), but even Windows allows the simultaneous use of two different browsers.  I used to use Firefox AND IE at the same time, on the same PC at my old job.  True, IE was my default, but that’s so the OS knows what to open the program with.  It never prevented me from opening Firefox though.  I guess to take that particular computer analogy to it’s honest conclusion, I CAN worship Jebus AND the devil.  Of course, on the PC I can run Netscape, Opera, Firefox, IE, hell, I can even code and run my own browser if I’m so inclined.  I know that it’s pointless to try and understand the fundy mindset (having been one myself for awhile), but I think that this dude is trying to say that we should use IE even if we prefer Firefox (or any other browser).  I mean, it’s the logical thing to do even if you don’t agree with it, because you never know, it MIGHT be the real and true browser and thus right, and wouldn’t you rather be right?  Would that make IE Pascal’s browser?

Nothing les then the christian way to do it.  After all, who needs intellegence when you can have a third person account of a third person account of a third person account?

Hearing a christian fundementalist saying that we all need to not be enslaved to superstition hurts my head on so many levels, great stuff guys and girls, cause unlike the christians, I believe that men and women should be able to play together.

Take a look back at the good old days, back when there were priests and priestesses of the temple, not priests and paperwork bitches of the temple forced to look like middle eastern women minus a mask.  Women can be charismatic, passioniate, persuasive, and other things too.  I’m kinda suprised that femenist extremists haven’t jumped these guys since day one, cause they put a ceiling, and a short one at that, to the ladder of comand that women can reach up to.

Well, enough is enough, take care everyone, but before I conclude, who are the Trotskyites?

Leon Trotsky was an associate of VI Lenin during the Soviet Revolution in the early 20th century.  Basically, Stalin used Trotsky as the boogieman, blaming a large portion of the bad stuff that occured during his reign on Trotsky, and Trotsky had to flee for his life.

I assume there is more to it, but Trotskyites I assume are those that follow Trotsky’s version of communism.

err… that would be V I Lenin.  Not 4 Lenin.

Sorry about triple dipping, but I’m currently on some good pain killers that are making me a little loopy (I fell and injured my back a few days ago).  Anyway, VI would be 6 not 4.

Trotskyism IS a version of communism, Leon Trotsky.

Anyway, VI would be 6 not 4.

You beat me.