Looking at my referrer logs I’m always amazed at the near-endless combinations of the above seven small words that keep showing up in the list. If I were to believe my logs then half the gambling websites on the Internet have all directly linked to my blog and are sending me boundless traffic as millions stop playing poker and rush to see what latest missive I’ve taken the time to pound into my keyboard. Why it’s amazing they still make any money what with the endless hordes of people fleeing from their poker games to visit my humble little blog. I should be grateful for all the traffic they’re directing my way, but instead here I am screwing up their search results by making an entry that will probably usurp their page rankings by titling it with the seven words they love to reuse and abuse in endless combinations.

I feel really bad about doing that.

Kinda like I feel really bad about how I tend to ignore the millions of herbal supplement resellers who seem to be overly concerned about the size of my penis or whether I ejaculate in as impressive a manner as your average porn star. How these people came, so to speak, to know about my hidden shame is beyond me, but I suspect they’ve been cooperating with the NSA in return for access to my dossier. Regardless they’re really really worried about it based on the number of emails they send me daily and the number of people who send them. I keep trying to explain that I’m married now and don’t have a girlfriend I have to impress with my ability to spew bodily fluids in a dramatic fashion as depicted in so many porn films, but they don’t seem to believe me and I continue to be a source of great anxiety for these people. The thought of them laying awake at night worried about the “pawer of my election”—as one recent email creatively described it—does cause me some small twinges of guilt, particularly after the extended giggling session such thoughts tend to cause.