Sometimes I use a slip of paper as a bookmark.  A slip of paper can cause a very painful cut.  If you tried hard enough, you could probably slice someone’s head clean off.

If you tried really, really, really hard.

Crap, I’m a booktoting terrorist.

I have one of those bookmarks!  Those things are awesome.  If you slap a paperback up on a bookstand, so that you can cite a pertinent paragraph, it’s really useful to be able to throw one of these at the bottom of the book, to keep the pages from flipping over while you type.

Hell, if That’s a weapon, so is my shoe!

Eedjits!

This time, screeners thought the bookmark resembled a weighted police weapon, known as a sap or slungshot, used to knock suspects unconscious. Stover said screeners did the right thing by showing the item to airport police.  “They probably felt that this item looked fairly dangerous,“ she said. “It looked like a bludgeoning type of weapon that could potentially harm someone.“

All well and good.  I don’t have as much of a problem as their deciding it looks like a blackjack (esp. since it was in her purse, as opposed to in a book) as their deciding to haul the person carrying it off to jail in handcuffs.  Interviewing the lady in question should have been sufficient to, if they really thought it was dangerous, simply let the confiscate the danged thing.

I think these sorts of restrictions are absurd, for a variety of reasons, but if you’re going to prohibit nail clippers, prohibiting a sap (or something arguably close to it) makes sense.  (Prohibiting shoes would make as much sense, but let’s not go there.)

Come to think of it, a high-velocity slug from an assault rifle on the ground could probably shatter a turbine blade in a jet engine at takeoff.  If there’s any gun experts reading, what do you think?

If I really want to hurt someone my size 11 Rockports with my foot inside should suffice.

Scenario: you have a sap.  You hit someone over the head with it.  Ten other passengers wrestle you to the floor before the air marshall even knows there’s a problem.  It all gets sorted out later while your jaw and several of your ribs heal.

Ditto for nail clippers, swiss army knife, etc. Those are still in the “confiscate ‘em & let ‘em board” category. No airliner will ever again be hijacked with a token weapon.  Even if someone did get them onboard the most you could do is kill one or two other people and be beaten senseless by the rest.  To do a hijacking you need something stronger.

I read somewhere that hijackers could use pen guns.  Sure, but I don’t see how that would get them control of a plane, since 9/11.  How big a magazine does a pen gun have?

But I have no sympathy at all for the genius arrested at O’Hare on Saturday for trying to carry a .357 magnum onto flight UA686 bound for New York.  He said he forgot the gun was in his bag…  Right - you “forgot” you were carrying a high-powered handgun.  For him the handcuffs and arrest make perfect sense.

I have decided not to fly any longer as i no longer feel safe without be alowed to have my sword,baseball bat, bow and arrow, cricket bat, golf clubs, Hockey stick, lacrosse stick, pool cue, ski pole, spear gun along as security agianst a high-jacking!  It’s all so stunningly riduculous I have trouble believeing it.  the stupid people have taken over the world and somewhere along the way I was sleeping.

  As a side note: Does anyone believe that a group of highjackers armed with small sharp object will EVER succeed in taking over another north american airliner without the passenger beating them to death?

On another related note, 4 M-80s were found INSIDE flight 710 (Spirit Airlines) from Ft Lauderdale to NYC (LaGuardia) jammed in a tissue box in the bathroom…

So books/bookmarks bad ... explosives good!

Glad to know I finally understand the TSA :(

So there’s no guarantee that following the list of approved items is enough to keep your ass from being charged with a crime (at worst) or having your item confiscated and then sold by the state (at best).

Don’t even get me started on that point :(

It is getting beyond the point where the obsurdity is humorous, it is just sad.

I really think the TSA has proven time and again what a failure of an experiment it is.

Note to TSA: Hijacking an airliner with tweezers will never happen… using m-80’s to blow a hole in an emergency exit, throw into the cabin to create chaos, etc that my friends may work…

Lets be a bit realistic in our security now can’t we?

Doesn’t Kathryn Harrington just look like the sort of person that would be carrying around a monogrammed black-jack?  What a thug.  Remember kids, books don’t kill you, knowledge does.

Come to think of it, a high-velocity slug from an assault rifle on the ground could probably shatter a turbine blade in a jet engine at takeoff.

DOF is just itchin’ to get a knock on his door from the

KGB

HSA.

Remember kids, books don’t kill you, knowledge does.

You’ve never been whacked in the back of the head with some old school hardcover UNIX manuals, or CICS ones for that matter have you

I have, and can attest to the fact that it most certainly can kill you, or atleast knock the living daylights outta ya :(

But then again, A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste, and our Dear Leader is anti-intellectual, so knowledge can be dangerous

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste

Damn you, I laughed hard enough to wake the baby.

As to the rest, the TSA achieves something the 9/11 terrorists failed to do - make me afraid of flying.

I thought it was one of those new-fangled blue Kotex pads!

Damn you, I laughed hard enough to wake the baby

Almost hit the mark… now if I can make DeadScot snort AK-47 Vodka out his nose, then I know I hit the humor mark

And I refuse to fly anymore unless absolutely necessary, and then I FEDEX or UPS my bags to my destination, carrying only my medications, a change of underwear, and toiletries with me.

Maybe I will carry a pair of stained underwear as well, just to give the TSA folks something to make their day more interesting

Or would that be a biological WMD?

And I refuse to fly anymore unless absolutely necessary

I’m with you there, not that I have had much need to fly in recent years.

Sitting on my desk is a laptop battery that weighs just over 1 lb.  Drop that (or a few D cells) in a sock and you could put a lump on a skull.  Didn’t notice marbles on the list. 

Walking canes can be used as martial arts weapons.  Does a black belt need to declare the ol’ hands and feet as weapons when boarding?

Back in school, my roomate was messing with me while I was reading a PC Magazine (back when they were over 1/2 inch thick).  That glossy paper packed a wallop when you rolled it up.  And the Computer Shopper mags could stop a bullet!

I actually have no disinclination to fly.  I actually feel safer on planes now than ever.  With how tight security has been in the last several years, I think there’s less chance of a hijacking than there was ever before.  Though, I will admit security nowadays is a bit of a pain in the ass, but as long as the security people are just being thorough and not simply abusing their positions I don’t particularly object to it.  However, handcuffing someone over a book mark is a bit excessive.

I’m with you, Stink - I feel quite safe flying now.  But it isn’t because of the “tougher security,“ it’s because I know that no hijacking would be permitted to succeed as in the past. 

With the example of flight 93 in mind, and changes in policy, it would be impossible for a hijacker to get control of a plane today.  Flashing a boxcutter or saying “I have a bomb” wouldn’t work.

I actually have no disinclination to fly.  I actually feel safer on planes now than ever.

Did you feel less safe before?  I used to fly at least twice a week, every week and I don’t think ‘hijacking’ ever crossed my mind.  After making an emergency landing in Austin due to mechanical difficulties, I was more afraid of maintenance problems than anything else.

I look at the TSA like a big security blanket that we’re paying a whole lot of money for but not really getting much for our investment.  Money spent out of fear has never been real high on my list.

captcha = ‘love’ just ‘cause I haven’t posted one in a while.

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste

Quoting Ministry album titles will get you everywhere.

“Did you feel less safe before?  I used to fly at least twice a week, every week and I don’t think ‘hijacking’ ever crossed my mind.  After making an emergency landing in Austin due to mechanical difficulties, I was more afraid of maintenance problems than anything else.“

deadscot,

You do have a point, I never was particularly afraid to fly in the first place.  The thought of a hijacking didn’t ever cross my mind.  However, I do think that there’s even a lower likelihood of hijacking now than before.  Though I will grant that I don’t think that there was much of a risk previously.

I’m never flying again….not that I did all that much in the first place.  o.O

Hmmm, I have a flight to catch in another 16 days…

Thank goodness I am not even bringing a carry-on bag. Then again, I could probably look at them funny and then they might take my t-shirt from me because I could strangle someone with it. -.-

As to the rest, the TSA achieves something the 9/11 terrorists failed to do - make me afraid of flying.

I’m with Elwed on this one. I’m more afraid of flying now than in the past, but not because of the possibility of terrorism as that was never anything I was all that worried about previously. Just take a good look at my picture. With the TSA’s ability to detain people at will for any perceived threat it’s them I’m worried about more so than any terrorist.

Sorry, this is a gonna be long

TSA Agents [chanting]
  Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
  [bonk]
  Pie Iesu domine,...
  [bonk]
  ...dona eis requiem.
  [bonk]
  Pie Iesu domine,...
  [bonk]
  ...dona eis requiem.

Agent #1: Look that guy with the beard, he’s a terrorist!

Agent #2: Huh? Which guy? Dont bug me, I’m stealing stuff ... huh?  What makes you think he is a Terrorist?

Agent #3: He does have a long beard. This official like TSA newsletter says long beards are terroristic signs

Agent #4: [He turned me into a Newt Gingrich]

Agent Supervisor: [Shaadddap Agent #4… wrong skit]

Agents: Arrest the infidels!  Burn them! Burn THEM!

Agent Supervisor: One never expects the TSA Inquisition!!!

Agents: WRONG SKIT!

Agent Supervisor: uhmm… sorry! Where were we… Oh Yes! You Mr. Les are a terrorist and we need to publicly flog you now.

LES: What the fuck is wrong with you people!?!

Agent #3: See he is a blasphemer, I bet he is a godless muslim person with that beard and vulgar language!

LES: I wont even begin to point out the stupidity of that statement, you fucking morons.

Agent #2: See! He thinks we are stupid, he must be a terrorist for disagreeing with the pronouncements of Lord on High G.W. Bush

Agent #1 Guys, shut the hell up, I found a nice lighter!  I always wanted one like this!!! Oh! and looky here… a couple of watches!

Agent Supervisor: What do we do with Terrorist?

Agents: We Burn Him! ... er… No… We Torture Him in Gitmo!

Agent Supervisor: Not those caught on US soil…

Agents: What are we to do then?

Agent Supervisor: We lock him in a room, get out the rubber gloves and make him listen to Commrade.. er… Scty Ashcroft SING!

Agents: ewwww…. good good good

[LES walks away while agents fight over the lighter found, and argue about how to best torture him… right!! they are not that fucking bright]

Narrator: While all this silliness about a beard is taking place, two large suitcases of m-80s are smuggled on board by a clean shaven white man about 6 foot tall with cropped blonde hair. Ironic?

This insanity is brought to you by the letter W. (and not enough coffee in the morning)

I have only one question, John: Where do I send the doctor’s bill for the cracked ribs I now have from laughing too hard?

Les,

I aim to please… and sometimes I even hit the target

Now I think I may have to write Dubya and the Quest for the Iraqi WMDs

Hmmm…

Help! I am being repressed!

Imagine the fun we could have with this

LOL!

Hi everyone!

Decrepitoldfool, I’m not a gun expert (have never fired one either) but I’m very sure that there are guns available which can do that easily.

Heck, airplane engines can be fatally damaged by a single bird, so a big slug should do worse (simply hit and snap off one turbine blade, and the rest of the thing thing has a tendency to rip itself apart). But thats not really that dangerous, for it SHOULD not be fatal for the plane (multiple engines, fire is unlikely).

Much more dangerous would be a case of terrorists attacking a plane with shoulder fired-SAMs (surface-air-missiles) which you can get pretty easily in parts of the world. Attacks have happened often enough before, mostly in Africa and places like Iraq and Afghanistan.

I worry about that more than about hijacking. Most of us don’t fly with El Al, so there would be no defense (it is believed that those Israeli airplanes all got military style defense-systems against missiles).

I think nowadays two other main scenarios are likely: A bomb smuggled aboard by airport staff (or people who get onto the tarmac) or one slipped into a plane at thoses place that terrorists have scooped out for not having good explosives detection systems.

As for the pencil pen - most of them have only one bullet as far as I know. For a hijacking situation, I’d say they would be almost useless.

Ingolfson