Stupid Evil Bastard: Smurfs to become major 3D animated film trilogy.

Smurfs to become major 3D animated film trilogy.

Posted by Les on Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 09:49 PM. Read 1626 times. Tags:

This is firm proof that there is no God. They’re going to make a Smurfs film trilogy.

Paramount Pictures has acquired the film rights to the Smurfs. Jordan Kerner and Nickelodeon Movies will produce a 3D cgi feature film based on the characters.

They are planning on making a trilogy and hope to have the first film out in 2008—the 50th anniversary of the Smurfs, which started as a Belgian comic script in 1958.

My buddy Bob is going to harass the hell out of me over this one as I hate the Smurfs with a passion that has to be seen to be believed. I must say that I’m stunned to find out the little blue bastards have been around since 1958. Why oh why won’t they just die?!?

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Comments:

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Mick

Posted on 07/19/2005 at 10:25 PM

Clearly, Les has been murdered and his place taken by Gargamel, who is using Stupid Evil Bastard to incite anti-Smurf hatred.

Alright, as much a fanboy of the Smurfs as I am, I can’t help but think a CGI Smurfs film trilogy is a really, really bad idea. This goes into my “what the fuck are they thinking file?“.

Laughing Muse

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 01:46 PM

Wow. Paramount’s really grasping at straws.

You all know what comes next, don’t you? Merchandising. And more merchandising. And new cartoons which are really yet more merchandising. Get ready for a smurfy couple of holiday seasons. Blue Christmas indeed…

THEOCRAT

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 02:17 PM

Ironic. I was just searching the internet for a documentary/video/news report thing we watched in my high school US Government class that showcased the similarities between smurfs and communism. The little buggers are commies dont ya know?

Cindi

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 03:42 PM

A pretty sure sign the end-times are nigh. I hate the damn smurfs.

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The stupid! It burns!!

Uber Gaijin

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 05:46 PM

Smurfs aren’t commies! Commies are red…or at least a deep shade of pink. Smurfs are blue…

Oh kill me now…

decrepitoldfool

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 07:04 PM

Just before the digital release of the 3D Smurf movie, let’s hack their server and merge the movie with GTA: Vice City. Then Gargamel can cruise around in a hotrodded 302GT and ice the smurfs with a street sweeper. (Except that one chick smurf - he can do unspeakable things to her first.)

Iolite

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 07:24 PM

The only critters I hate more are the treasure trolls.

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<42><

brokenbonez

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 09:22 PM

Interesting reading:

http://www.evl.uic.edu/caylor/SMURF/aryan.html

deadscot

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 09:29 PM

I’m just happy that I can do my Christmas shopping for Les early this year! The DVD is sure to be out before Thanksgiving. Smurfy!

Les

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 10:22 PM

It’ll make a lovely coaster, I’m sure!

It’s odd you should mention Christmas considering the last entry I just put up.

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Agnostics are just atheists without balls. - Stephen Colbert

Link

Posted on 07/20/2005 at 11:45 PM

Someone give me a sword. I wont stop until the streets run blue with smurf blood!!!

God I hate those little bastards…

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No wonder intelligent thought cannot survive on this planet…there’s nothing that nurtures it!

Scimitar

Posted on 07/21/2005 at 12:27 PM

Les, did you here me laughing the Evil Laugh? Muhahahahahaha!

I actually went through the effort of creating a profile just so I could post a comment!

I am definitely SO going to “harass the hell out of you” over this! This made my day!

In fact, when the movies come out, I’m willing to buy your ticket just to have the pleasure of “showing” you these really smurfy, err, cool films! *GRIN*

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La la la la la la, la la la la la…
Have a Smurfy day!

Sinister Smurfette

Posted on 07/25/2005 at 09:15 AM

Tra-la-la-la-lala-lalalalaaaa, tra-la-la-la-lala-lalalalaaaaa…...screw the film the OST is gonna be great! Sony will make a mint!

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