Yo BogBro - how about this?  I think the meter is better.  Now with extra creepy historical blasphemy!

There once was a deity named Jesus
Who, when we sin, supposedly sees us
So if you pull on your dong
He’ll just watch all along
As with Paul, in prison, in Ephesus.

Yeah - rhyming Jesus is a bit of a stretch, huh?

Nano - do you have a limerick for atheism?  Now THAT would be worth reading.

Here’s mine:

There once was an atheist named Guy
Whose friends believed in men in the sky
They really weren’t bad
But they made Guy a bit sad
‘Cause they would never figure out it was a lie.

Top that, if you dare.

Are you interested in true reason, a true search for the truth, or, have you already made up your mind, like so many others, and no matter what evidence comes your way, its a settled matter?

HE is calling out to you, listen. He is tugging at your heart. Listen! Respond! He loves you more than the oceans and seas, more than the universe! He sent His only begotten Eternal Son to die for you, YOU!

Email me if you decide to come to Him, if you are truly seeking. Don’t be afraid of what your “friends” here may think. He has sent me as your ambassador to Him. Ask me and I will do what I can to answer your seeking, your questions.

I know deep down you are asking “Why, Father? Why? I don’t understand! Help me!” HE is there for you, HE is here for you. Don’t reject HIS love to you!

Nathaniel, one of the disciples, asked “What good can come out of Nazareth?” Philip said “Come and see”.

Is the life of the young Nazarene carpenter really worth considering? The question still lingers. And the answer of Philip still suffices. Come and see. Come and see the rock that has withstood the winds of time. Hear His voice. The truth undaunted. The grace unspotted, the loyalty undeterred. Come and see the flame that tyrants and despots have not extinguished. Come and see the passion that oppression has not squelched. Come and see the hospitals and orphanages rising beside the crumbling ruins of atheism and humanism. Come and see what Christ has done.

Come and see the great drama threading through twenty centuries of history and art. Handel weeping as he composes The Messiah. Da Vinci sighing as he portrays the Last Supper. Michelangelo stepping back from the rock-carved David.

Can anything good come out of Nazareth, Bog Bro?

See Wilburforce fighting to free slaves in England because he believed.
See Faraday, Maxwell, and Kelvin devote lives to science and discover God’s wonders of His creation, because of The Shepherd from Nazareth.

See Washington at prayer in Valley Forge because he believed. See Lincoln alone with a dog-eared Bible because he believed.

Come and see the changed lives: the alcoholic now dry, the embittered now joyful.

Come and see the Holocaust Survivor who went through unspeakable horrors...clasp her arms around the former Nazi commandant..now forgiven..tears streaming down their faces as they look to each other as “brother, sister”!!!

Come and see marriages rebuilt, the orphans embracing, the imprisoned rejoicing.

Journey into jungles and hear the drums beating in praise of the King of kings and Lord of lords

Sneak into the corners of communism and find believers worshipping under threat of death

Walk on death row and witness the prisoner condemned by man yet liberated by God

Venture into the gulags and dungeons of the world and hear the songs of the saved refusing to be silent

Can anything good come out of Nazareth, each of you here?

Come and see the pierced hand of God touch the most common heart, wipe the tear from the wrinkled face, and forgive the ugliest sin.

Come and see the tomb. The tomb once occupied, now vacant; the grave once sealed, now empty. Cynics have raised their theories, doubters have raised their questions. But their musings continue to melt in the bright light of Easter morning. Come and see.

He avoids no seeker. He ignores no probe. He fears no search. Come and see. Nathaniel came. And Nathaniel saw, and Nathaniel discovered,” Teacher, you are the Son of God; You are the King of Israel.”

Adapted from Max Lucado’s A Gentle Thunder

No, if you are a true believer, even if you are currently under Satan’s atheistic deception, you will be in Heaven, and you will not be my “indentured servant”. You and I will be brothers in Christ and all of this will be behind us.

At the same time, you will have lost out on rewards and co-rulership with the Lord Jesus, but you will still have His eternal love and joy etc.

The Bible is very explicit on creation being a literal six 24 hour day process. It is also spoken of again in Exodus and elsewhere. Jesus Himself was a Creationist!  Read the Gospels. He spoke of Genesis as being literal history, and Adam and Eve being the first two people etc.

No, I am not insecure in my faith. The reason I come here is because I sincerely believe the Bible is true, is the error proof written Word of God, Divinely inspired, and, if you die without having ever believed/trusted in Jesus Christ as your Savior, you will go to Hell forever. I do not want that. I want you to be saved.

Some of the vulgarity I see here is clear evidence of your hatred for God. He is watching all of this. Do you realize that we will be held accountible for what we type on the internet, too?

Cubiclegirl, if you can read this, I have a question for you: Why do you, as a woman, follow atheism or whatever form of nonbelief you have? What’s in it for you? Do you honestly believe its the truth?

Some here seem to think its a bad motivation to believe in Jesus to escape Hell. Not at all. He Himself encouraged people to do whatever they could to believe in Him. Read Mark 9:43-46

Question for you all: I take it you’re somewhat familiar with the concept of the “Rapture"/Catching up, spoken of in Scripture, such as in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17, where Paul tells Christians that in some future time we believers will be caught up to be with the Lord in the air. What do you think of this?

Let’s say it happens in the next few years, or only God knows when. What will each of your reactions be? Will you say “The Bible was right, that NanoDude guy was right.” or will you go with whatever lies and speculations the media will be saying?

And yes, Hitler was a Darwinist. Hitler actually would use whatever he found was useful to him at the time. If it meant manipulating naieve or deceived Christians, he would do it. If it meant using Darwin’s teachings, he would do it. He also used the occult and was inspired by Germanic paganism.

What are you all thankful for? I am thankful for every day of existence, for eternal salvation, for my family and friends and fellow Christians, for the Jewish people, and for you. Yes. You. Why? Because you make me think about my faith and I find it to be all the more valid.

May God save you and bless you all

Holy shit!  Are you fucking kidding me Dude?  Do you think you are talking to a class of elementary school children?  Perhaps a group of people who have never heard any Christian dogma before?  Boy, I don’t know if I’ll be able to find a Bible at my local bookstore.  They have all those other books there, I’m not sure if they carry Bibles. 

I hate to break it to you NanoDouche, but every single goddamn living creature is a “darwinist”.  You yourself will be an agent of evolution so long as you reproduce.  You personally won’t evolve, anymore than anyone else will individually evolve (cause it doesn’t happen that fast), but you will be an agent of the “evil darwinian plot” if you reproduce.  You cannot avoid it, so suck balls NanoDude (well, that would be a way for you to not be part of evolution...if you suck balls you are probably not likely to reproduce.  Well, unless you’re a woman, or swing both ways.) I’m sure you will deny this (if you acknowledge it at all), but it doesn’t really matter.

Oh yeah, and before I forget, I better show some of that hatred...Santa Claus is a total douchebag and fucks his own reindeer in a massive gangbang with all his elves...uh oh!  Must be I hate Santa Claus!

Hey Dud, lots of people worldwide do good because they believe in a different God to you. By your arguement those gods must exist.

Hitler was a Darwinist, in the same way as all those murderers in the name of Christ you disowned earlier were Christian, and Bin Laden glorifies the God of Abraham.

Oh, and Hitler wrote that he wanted revenge Jesus on the Jews.  Nowhere does Darwin suggest that we should slaughter those we consider weak. ‘Fittest’ means most fitted, ie best adapted, not strongest.

However you have done me a favour.  Watching your babbling being ripped apart, your inanities countered helped me with this. Your arguements helped me put doubt in someones mind. Thanks

I think it may be time to start Disenvoweling Nano Dude’s comments…

I think I’m gonna just start ignoring him.  Is there anyway to add a non-member to my ignore list, or do I just have to manually filter out the babbling of NanoDouche?

Oh wait, I guess I could just unsubscribe from this thread...Actually, I wonder if we all unsubscribe, will NanoDouche just go away, or will he start reading other posts on here and add his “wisdom” to those?

It’s probably old Praying4You back under yet another alias to see how much he can rile us up. This is exactly the kind of stunt he pulled earlier.

Well, we tried but his head is firmly stuck.

O great and benevolent Sweet Zombie Jesus, please show us the power of the Holy Spook as You did to Lazarus when turning him into the First Zombie by sending Your re-animated minions to eat the brains of the unbeliever as he has shown no need for them any longer.

In Your Decaying name we pray

Braiiiiinnnssssss

Sweeeeet.

Desperately understanding that his “science” has failed to challenge the reasonable unbelievers, ND has succumbed to ranting preachery. Way to go ND, you’re an idiot.

Wha?? Not one comment on my limericks?  C’mon - that’s the genuine article, that is.  OK - maybe they’re cheap knock offs, but still worth a smiley, at the least.

Sorry, that did deserve at least a smiley!  I especially liked the reference to Paul, in prison, in Ephesus.  That should get the fundies flipping the gilt-edged pages of their KJV’s.

O great and benevolent Sweet Zombie Jesus

A bit like the Eddie Izzard routine between God and Jesus

-What did you say?
-I said drink this wine it is my blood.
-WHAT, that’s vampirism, you’ve been telling people to be vampires! What else did you say?
-Nothing
-Did you?
-mumble mumble
-What was that?
-Eat this Bread it is my body.
-WHAT! Cannaballism as well!  Thats a great start to a new religeon. What next, eat these oysters, they are my kneecaps?

The Church of St. Lazarus the First Risen thanks you for your support. 

Now then, I seem to recall Jesus once telling a group that they would not all have passed on before he returned with the Magic Kingdom but I can’t find my tabbed bible. Anybody remember that one and which book it’s in or am I just being a bit befuddled?

Right here

Many thanks DOF, Matthew 16:28 was the one I was thinking of.

Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

Seeing as all those people are dead one can only think we missed the big show already.

Now, who’s up for some Creationist Bingo?

Cubiclegirl, if you can read this, I have a question for you: Why do you, as a woman, follow atheism or whatever form of nonbelief you have? What’s in it for you? Do you honestly believe its the truth?

A question for a question:  What does my gender have to do with squat?  My chromosomes don’t tell me what’s bunk and what’s not.  A modicum of logic and a willingness to ask questions and question the answers does that.  So does being thoroughly sick of the us-and-them that organized religion tends to reinforce rather than otherwise.  Sadly, for every Wilburforce, there was probably at least one upstanding Christian who argued for slavery as Bibically ordained.  (See Frederick Douglass’ 4th of July speech for a couple real zingers on that point.)

And you seem to be missing in your tortured attempts to connect the dots between Charles Darwin and Adolph Hitler is the fact that Hitler’s admiration was for Frederick the Great, Ricard Wagner and Martin Luther.  Not least of the reason being that Luther was an accomplished anti-Semite apart from being a hateful little rabble-rouser.  And Wagner’s Disneyfied Germanic mythos brought it to the masses.  Yet would try to lay the slaughter of millions at the feet of Frederic, Martin or Ricard?  Absolutely not.  Because it’s bogus logic, pure and simple.  In the same way that I wouldn’t hold Christ personally responsible for Inquisitions, Crusades, pograms, etc.  IIRC, Stalin and posse co-opted the Orthodox Church to rally the people during WWII.  Does that make Jesus responsible for the atrocities of Communism during and after the war?  Not by my thinking, so you’d best be careful with that argument, because it has more than one edge, and can easily twist in your hand.

And, by the bye:  You never did explain why the Nazis burned Darwin’s works if they were truly “evolutionists” at heart.  Just because you believe the revisionist history that they serve on the side at creationist websites doesn’t make it true. 

For the umpteenth time, I find it so ironic that creationist trolls never apply the navel-gazing self-absorption to any science that doesn’t contradict their notion of themselves as God’s little pet science fair project.  I suspect that all but the most hard-core among them don’t imagine the Almighty personally nudging electron against electron to carry each keystroke from keyboard to a website hundreds if not thousands of miles away.  No, the science that gives them iPods and microwaves their dinners or carries them to WalMart, or treats diseases that would have killed or disabled them less than a century ago, that’s All Good.  How convenient, hey?  Electrical engineers (for instance) aren’t accused of dogmatism for some crazy reason… By which cherry-picking, a creationists’ lack of faith is ably demonstrated. 

Bottom line, Man created God in his own image, and when you add in crowd psychology of an institutionalized theology, the groupthink tends to amplify the worse parts of human nature to the detriment of the good.

Sorry ‘bout the double-posts, folks.  The site was wonky there for a bit…

Electrical engineers

Leave my dad out of this.

No, the science that gives them iPods and microwaves their dinners or carries them to WalMart, or treats diseases that would have killed or disabled them less than a century ago, that’s All Good.  How convenient, hey?

Just waiting for the “God inspired them” arguement.

Julian, it’s definitely not Praying4You. P4Y didn’t annoy me anywhere near as much as Nano Dude and at least seemed like he was trying to have an honest conversation. ND isn’t interested in an honest discussion. He makes claims and assertions with nothing to back them up, ignores responses to his claims that he can’t refute with anything more involved than a link to a discredited Creationist website, and then cries victory in a debate that isn’t a debate at all. P4Y was never so obtuse or arrogant.

CubicleGirl, I deleted one of your comments for you.

Yeah you’re probably right. I just got a bit suspicious because P4Y did use a sock-puppet at least once.

cubiclegrrl- this is a little (but not very) off-topic, but I thought people (are you out there, Nano Dude?) might be interested in some words of wisdom from Martin Luther.  His anti-Semitism is well-known.  What is perhaps less well known is his stance on witches:

„daß ein Exempel an ihnen gegeben werden möchte, anderen zum Schrekken. ...
Mit denen muß man kein Mitleid haben. Ich wollte sie selber verbrennen.“

“An example should be made of them, to frighten others… One need have no sympathy for them. I wanted to burn them myself.”

„Man töte sie! ... Es ist ein sehr gerechtes Gesetz, daß die Hexen getötet werden; sie richten vielerlei Schaden an. ... Schaust du solche Weiber an, so wirst du finden, daß sie ein teuflisches Gesicht haben. Ich selber habe deren etliche gesehen. Man töte sie nur!“

“One should kill them! ... It is a very just law, that witches are to be killed; they cause many kinds of harm. ... If you look at such women, you will find, that they have a devilish face. I myself have seen several of them. One should only kill them!”.

The witches he’s talking about were probably women who wouldn’t sleep with his fat ass.

The witches he’s talking about were probably women who wouldn’t sleep with his fat ass.

[amused snort] Good one, BB!  Because we all know the difference between a slut and a bitch:  The slut would sleep with anybody; the bitch would sleep with anybody BUT you. 

The more I learn about Luther (and Calvin), the more I’m disgusted with my Protestant-leaning upbringing and its assurance that “we” were somehow purer than those idolatrous, hidebound Catholics.  Gack.  Like I wouldn’t get enough of that pep-rally mentality later on in high school…

One thing you can say about Luther: he was an idealist through and through.  Too bad he had such lousy ideals, though.

Les- why am I suddenly in Germany?  This is not going to go over well with my family…