I almost hesitate to comment on this one but I must. I think the guys who have average ones and who buy into the whole “size matters” theory deserve to be ripped off.
Anything over 5” inches should be enough to do the job and anything under that, well that’s not a penis anyway - that’s a pen-isn’t and the government should buy that guys enlargement supplies for him.

I heard there is some kind of company in Australia that was selling porno movies or something like that.  You send them your money, they send you a letter after that saying they are out of stock… and happily return your money.  But since the name on the account is something like “Anal Sex Incorporated” or something like that, no one cashes the checks or reports them.

The Aussie police caught wind of the scam but couldn’t think of anything to charge them with!

I probably got some of that wrong; I think it was on metafilter or something like that (can I say metafilter?)

This blogging stuff is new to me.

I have a hard time feeling sorry for people caught in the Nigerian banker scams, the ones which offer you a cut of millions to smuggle government money offshore. After all, to fall for those you have to be both stupid and imoral (being willing to theoretically take millions of dollars from poor African countries).

After I read this post, I went and rubbed some oil on my penis and it got bigger, so I don’t see what the problem is.

The effect only lasts for a minute or so after you stop rubbing, though.

Some lawsuits, from 2003, settled and worth noting include:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice that his neighbor was at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving, by way of the garage, a house he had just finished robbing . He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the home-owner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tail-bone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home (from an OU football game) having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R. V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner’s manual that he couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying recreation vehicles.

from email

Brock’s post above is, alas, nothing but an urban legend.
Check this out:

http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

Damn.

It was funnier when I thought they were true.

Damn.

Well why didn’t you tell me that before I posted, Zachary. I received the email from president Bush and didn’t even hesitate to consider whether he had his facts straight.

Anyway, to recover from my erroneous posting - I intended for the first sentence to read “Some fake lawsuits from 2003 circulated via email include:” (Yeah, that’s the ticket)

I guess next you’re going to tell me that Iraq never tried to purchase yellow cake uranium from Niger?